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losing my mum- not sure how much time left

mia359
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Hi,

I'm not sure how this works, it's all pretty new to me. I just wanted to reach out to see if there is anyone in the same/similar situation as me because I'm feeling quite alone. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2002 when I was 6 years old. She has been fighting for 13 years and I am so proud of her. In 2007 it came back stage 3 bone cancer and now the cancer has gone to her brain. Her body is tired from so much treatment and the doctors are suggesting that perhaps it's time to stop treating her and let the disease take its course. Oddly, I am not angry with them. I feel like I should be, they should be keeping my mum alive not leaving her to die. But I'm her carer, I'm with her 24/7 whilst completing my first year of uni. I see her everyday and I know how much pain she is in and how tired her body is. All she does now is sleep. She is very confused when she wakes up and often says things that don't make any sense. How do I deal with this? I try to keep my cool because it is not her fault and I should not get mad at her, but it's so hard to reason with someone when they are so confused. she's so tired I feel like I can't talk to her anymore. And I'm scared, I don't know if I'm ready to handle everything that will come after she's gone. Also, no doctor is able to tell me how long she has left. I know that they can't always predict, but I feel like I need to know so I can get myself ready. She had a seizure last week and was in hospital for a while. I was with her when it happened. The doctor says she will have another most likely, and that terrifies me because what if I'm not there when it happens. I don't even want to think about her being alone.

 

Parents
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    Hi, sorry to hear about your mum, I send my love and best wishes to you. 

    I'm in a similar situation to you. My mum had breast cancer 15 years ago, she had a mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiotherapy etc. Around 1-2 years later she was told she was cancer free. Back in July 2012 she was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer which was found in the lining of her left lung. Couple of months later it had spread to her bones and was on different type of medication. Back to March last year she started chemotherapy tablets which she took up until October last year (2014). Towards the end of October last year my mam suffered 3 brain seizures and was put on life support after we found out the cancer had spread to the brain. We got told she only had 24-48 hours left to live.. Just over 6 months on, shes still here and still fighting!! She had another 3 more seizures in november, december, febuary and she had 3 more last week. Back in December last year we found out it had spread to the liver, and back in febuary this year (2015) it had grown in the liver and also entered the linging of her right lung after the previous chemotherapy she started just before christmas didnt work. From Feburary up until now she tried a different chemotherapy. While she was in hospital the past week they did a body scan and it showed that the liver and lungs were stable and that the cancer was at bay, so the chemo worked in some form!!.. Back in December we were given a prognosis of 3-6 months and that scares me because you just don't know when the time is going to come. My dads a full time carer for my mum and its a struggle every day as I work full time and so does my brother. My mams a true fighter and will never give up ! You just got to think of the postives out of a negative situation.  

    I send my best wishes to you, and there are people like myself and others who are on this forum who are in a similar situation to you, I am willing to talk when ever you need to. 

    X x

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    Hi, sorry to hear about your mum, I send my love and best wishes to you. 

    I'm in a similar situation to you. My mum had breast cancer 15 years ago, she had a mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiotherapy etc. Around 1-2 years later she was told she was cancer free. Back in July 2012 she was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer which was found in the lining of her left lung. Couple of months later it had spread to her bones and was on different type of medication. Back to March last year she started chemotherapy tablets which she took up until October last year (2014). Towards the end of October last year my mam suffered 3 brain seizures and was put on life support after we found out the cancer had spread to the brain. We got told she only had 24-48 hours left to live.. Just over 6 months on, shes still here and still fighting!! She had another 3 more seizures in november, december, febuary and she had 3 more last week. Back in December last year we found out it had spread to the liver, and back in febuary this year (2015) it had grown in the liver and also entered the linging of her right lung after the previous chemotherapy she started just before christmas didnt work. From Feburary up until now she tried a different chemotherapy. While she was in hospital the past week they did a body scan and it showed that the liver and lungs were stable and that the cancer was at bay, so the chemo worked in some form!!.. Back in December we were given a prognosis of 3-6 months and that scares me because you just don't know when the time is going to come. My dads a full time carer for my mum and its a struggle every day as I work full time and so does my brother. My mams a true fighter and will never give up ! You just got to think of the postives out of a negative situation.  

    I send my best wishes to you, and there are people like myself and others who are on this forum who are in a similar situation to you, I am willing to talk when ever you need to. 

    X x

Children
  • Offline in reply to Becca1x

    Hi Mia, 

    First of all I think you are an amazing daughter, a real credit to your mother. 

    I am new to the forum also, my mum was diagnosed on wednesday with lung cancer and we are still waiting for answers, how bad it is, treatment options etc etc...

    Like yourself I am very scared too, but trying to be brave. 

    I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone xx

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