Hi Mower, so sorry this has happened to your dad.

You can contact the macmillan nurse assigned to your dad to ask questions. She may not have the answers immediately but will find out what she can, and may also help with other things you are in need of. 

I think your dad and you and your family can get counciling to help you during this difficult time if you ask too. Sometimes we need to lean on others a bit when times are hard.

Thinking of you and your dad and wishing him well

Aemi x

Thank you for your reply its so hard seeing him in pain & thinking how long I have with him, but got a load of questions to ask his consultant when we get an appointment but don't know when that will be as he has cat scan today & not heard any think about him going for his biopsy yet, it's just a waiting game & it feel like they are taking forever.

Hi Mower

Back home from work so just catching up on my mail again!  Your post only appears once so thanks for 'sending it again'. Hope the appointment comes through soon so that one way or another you both know what is going on (and hope it is better news than you are perhaps expecting too). Its good that you can deal with these things on your Dad;s behalf.  I have Power of Attorney for my Mum and to be honest it does make it a little easier although I always run things past her, she does not always remember me doing so!

I am 'managing' okay on a day to day basis (obvious hiccups along the way but only to be expected I think.). Watched a drama on tv last night and though it was about a different cancer to what my hubby had, I lost a friend to the sane kind of cancer around this time last year and it reminded me of her struggles and triumphs through her journey (I was so proud of her way of dealing with it and we spent some fun times (when she was well as well as when she was sick/on treatment) as she managed to fulfil so many of her bucket list wishes (she was first diagnosed in  her early thirties  and passed away just shortly before her 60th birthday!). She was totally inspirational and even supported me when we  learned of hubby's diagnosis.  There are some truly lovely people around.

Take care and chat again soon.  Jules x

Hi Jules

Sorry didn't get back sooner, my Dads appointment came today it's on the 14 May so not long to wait plus ask the care coordinator to come out & talk to my DAD before the appointment so it's not to much of a shock to him & me as this will be the first time it's been confirmed to us other then in the letter & ask what is a care coordinator & what do they do, hope your day was good as I just got back from my Dad's & off to bed in a bit as I'm up at 3am for work. You take care x

Hi Mower

Thats a very early start; do you work shifts? 

Am pleased you have at least got the appointment through for Dad as that must feel like you are moving forward a little, though can imagine you are both filled with some trepidation about what you may have to hear/discuss.  Remeber the forum is here for you anytime you need space to talk things through but am sure the care co-ordinator will be able to answer many of your questions. Are they attached to the GP surgery or the hospital (my hubby had links to both). Take care of yourself and hope Dad not finding things too difficult just now.  Regards  Julie x

Hi Jules

The care coordinator is a new thing the GP is doing as the hospital as told them I think, that's all I know still waiting for care coordinator to get back to me & my Dad still don't know he has cancer,he just told me all the back of his gum is playing him up & back teeth as can't eat on that side & the ulcer is under his tongue on the base, I got a feeling it's not going to be good news I do hope I m wrong, you take care & thanks for getting back to me x

Hi there phew just caught up on the posts.  Things are slowly moving for you all. I wonder what if will be..... 

Let me say that we are thinking of you and you're dad at this time.  We do so hope it's going to be okay

Xxx

Steven

Hi Mower

Hope the care coordinator is soon in touch and it sounds good that he/she is attached to the GP as that is who will know your Dad's history the best.  You Dad does sound uncomfortable within his mouth but hope when the doc is told they can give him something to help.  Although my husband had his cancer elsewhere eating was often an issue and he often resorted to 'soft food, mashed' and nutritional shakes.  Unfortunately once he had received his palliative chemo treatment his taste and love of food all but disappeared and he said he ate because he needed to - that was a difficult time. Wishing you both a peaceful day.Jules x

Thanks Steve x

Hi Jules

The care coordinator didn't get back to me so I told my Dad on Saturday that he has cancer, he was ok with it & said he's had a good life & not to worry easier said then done. You take care x

Hi Mower,

That was so brave of you but I suspect he was not completely surprised as no doubt had been keeping his own thoughts close to his chest. At least now you can both be open about appointments/treatment options etc when he has his appointment. I know its easier said than done when it comes to worrying (he sounds just like my Dad was) but the older generation have seen more than we have (lived more too) and I know you will continue to look out for each other during this time. Sending virtual hugs and the forum is always open. Jules x

Hi Jules

I did ask my Dad if he had a feeling it was cancer & he said  no he had no idea it could be cancer, but I think deep down he did. Yes Jules they have lived more then we have & it was hard back then not like today. You take care x

Hi Jules

I did ask my Dad if he had a feeling it was cancer & he said  no he had no idea it could be cancer, but I think deep down he did. Yes Jules they have lived more then we have & it was hard back then not like today. You take care x

Good morning mower

Hoping that when the appointment comes, not long till the 22nd,  everything will be explained to you both (dont forget to write down all your questions and perhaps the replies too as it may well be a lot to process at the time and I found it good to have it to refer to afterwards).  Perhaps by then the care coordinator will have been in touch (if not get back to your Dad's GP as sadly sometimes with their workloads things slip through the net - not right I know but it happens) plus it would be good for you to have a 'name' to contact.

Off to work shortly so take care of yourself and if you can let the forum know how Dad gets on. Regards Jules

Morning Jules

It's tomorrow at 10 past 9 we will see the consultant, my Dad got me to have a look in his mouth & it looks bad plus I had a feel of his neck & he has 2 lumps ever size of his neck, I could be wrong but the lumps are big & the top gum has white little spots on, but will soon know & I will let you all know as soon as I get back, you have a nice time at work as I got back from my morning job at 9am & now at my Dad's till 2.30pm then at my other job at 3pm till 6.30pm then say with my Dad till 8pm, then home & up for work at 3am all good fun lol. You take care x

Hi mower

Not sure how you fit it all in . Assume you live close by your Dad which makes it a little easier to juggle timing issues. Sure you must feel shattered at times so remember to take care of yourself too. Will be thinking of you all this morning and hope the appointment brings some answers for you all (and its not as widespread as you are imagining).  The forum is here when you are ready to share. Jules x

Hi jules

He has 6/9 months without treatment or a 10 hour opp & 6 weeks of radiotherapy, 

Hi mower

You will all need time for this information to sink in and for your Dad to make his decision.  My thoughts are with you and am here to listen when you are ready. Hugs Jules

Hi Jules

My Dad not having the opp as he wouldn't pull through it which I already new this so going to have radiotherapy & enjoy each day as it comes you take care x

Oh Mower,
What can I say.  At least you have a plan of action now, sometimes easier to accept and face.  One day at a time,  enjoy what you have and please look after yourself too.  That is most important.
Hugs
Kathy x
 

Morning Mower

Sorry the  news re the op is probably not what you wanted to hear but good that he can have the radiotherapy and that there is a least treatment planned for your Dad which will give some focus to what is happening.  Sending hugs and know you parents are very lucky to have you for support but remember to look after yourself too (I know its not easy to focus on yourself at times like this but you are important too and hope the forum can help you at times when you feel you need it).. Regards Julesxx

Thanks Kathy, you take care x

Thank you Jules off to the QE at 2.30, you take care x