Hi lollypop

So pleased the lovely Brian has responded to you as he has a wealth of first hand knowledge in this area and is a great forum member.  I really just wanted to add my welcome (and could not resist your avatar picture as it used to be my fave lolly (many moons ago!!).  Brian is right when he says the waiting is often the very worst part of a cancer diagnosis and I hope that once the necessary results are through your understanding about what is happening/treatment/ etc will help answer many questions you and your husband will have.  It might well  be worth writing down your questions to take to the next appointment as we found it helped jog our memory (which was often foggy at such times).  Hope you will find the forum a helpful resource. Regards Jules54

Hi Jules, my hubby's appointment has come through, he has to go on Thursday to see the urologist.  If the Cancer has spread I don't think they will operate, this is the difficult thing for me.  I suppose I feel that there is a good chance it can be cured if they can. Thank you for your advise about the list, my head is full of questions but I am sure I would forget all of them when we are with the surgeon.  Thanks again, I will keep you updated.  Lolly.

Hi Lollypop,

Jules husband was also one who didnt like to talk about his cancer which to me makes it harder for their wives,  I hope Jules doesnt mind me telling you this but I think it's because we men feel that we are protecting our partners by doing this but instead we only increase the worry.

I looked at it this way, when we are diagnosed with cancer, we need to talk openly and honestly and share our feelings with each other for we all need help and support more than ever before.

Take care, wishing you good results, Brian.

Hi Lolly,

Will be thinking of you both on Thursday and hope you can get some relief in writing down your feelings on the forum. I hope you get the best possible news but Brian is right, there are many people who live long lives with Prostate cancer (my Dad was one of them too- he refused treatment (he was in his seventies at the time) and lived till he was 85 so they are many different outcomes.  I know how hard it is not to overthink where you are at at the moment but take it a day at a time and as long as your husband knows he can talk to you if he wants to (I am not sure how often I reminded mine of this - he was probably sick of my voice!!!) you both need time to take it all in.  There are no judgements passed here and I found the understanding of others in similar situations enormously supportive.

As Brian has mentioned in his post (and I am more than happy for him to let others know if it helps') my husband clammed up more or less as soon as he had his diagnosis and was never happy about discussing it with me or anyone else for that matter.  It was for me the most frustrating and hard part of our journey throughout but being able to both vent and chat on the forum when the mood took me gave me an 'outside view looking in' if that makes any sense.  Take care  and sending peaceful thoughts  Jules x

Like Kathy will be thinking of you and your husband as you attend today's appointment.  Here to listen if you want to chat. Virtual hugs. Jules x

Hi Jules, just returned from hospital, unfortunately the Cancer has broke through the prostrate. Hubby going in on Tuesday for the op to remove prostrate then radiotherapy. So fingers crossed it will be ok.  The long road to recovery starts now.  Thanks for all your support.  Regards Lolly. X

Thanks for update Lolly.  Good to know that the op can go ahead and you do not have too long to wait to get treatment under way.  Wishing you both all the very best. Expect it will take you both time to process all that you heard today. Take car and sending virtual hugs  Jules x

Hi Lollypop,

Thanks for the update. Sorry to hear the cancer has broken out but radiotherapy treatment is very effective these days. They may even consider hormone therapy as well.

Wishing you both all the very best for Tuesday, Brian.

Thank you Brian, I feel a little bit more possative after today's meeting, even though the urologist said they may not be able to cure John.  But at least they are giving it a good shot.  Thanks again for your support lolly.

H, i Lollypop,

It is usually the case when cancer has escaped the prostate that it can not be cured which is what my brother in law was told. But having said that, it can be controlled for many years so please take heart from that.

Best wishes, Brian.

Hi Loolypop,  Just read your post and wanted to say how difficult it is being the otherhalf.  My daughter had 2 years cancer treatment at age 10 - now nearly 30!   I was so busy with sick bowls, infections and hosp stays and having to be in the here and now that  I had no time to worry, just concentrating on being a Mum!   I had  the support of a wonderful children's ward staff and my hubby by my side taking care of our other daughter and things at home.

I had breast cancer in 2011 but far the worst was my husband's Prostate cancer diagnosis.  Waiting for results at what ever stage of the journey you are on is so awful. You feel so useless.  Not being able to share all your worries with somebody who normally helps you though the bad patches in life is very difficult.

Anyway just wanted to say that My Hubby had a radical prostectomy in 2008  at age 58, (he has just retired) with a gleason score of 7. The analysis post op was that the cancer was widespread and aggressive, but still contained, so he was very lucky, most men are at a much later stage.  Hopefully the radiotherapy will clear any local escape of cancer.  I don't think they offer the removal of the prostate unless they think there is a  good chance of getting the cancer. We were told that he would only be offered the op if it was contained so your  consultants must think they can remove the cancer and zap anything thats lerking outside the prostate.

I hope this helps a little, gardenlady

Hi gardenlady, thank you so much for your post.  It makes it so much easier when you hear other stories.  My hubby's urologist thought it was worth a try, which we are so grateful for.  He did give us the impression that he couldn't be sure it would work because his Cancer was so aggressive, so as I previously said thank goodness he was willing to try.  I will keep everyone updated on his progress.  Thanks again everyone, you have all be so kind and helpful.  Regards Lolly xx

Hi gardenlady, thank you so much for your post.  It makes it so much easier when you hear other stories.  My hubby's urologist thought it was worth a try, which we are so grateful for.  He did give us the impression that he couldn't be sure it would work because his Cancer was so aggressive, so as I previously said thank goodness he was willing to try.  I will keep everyone updated on his progress.  Thanks again everyone, you have all be so kind and helpful.  Regards Lolly xx