Struggling to cope

I'm new to all this so unsure of where to start. I'm Rebecca, I'm 19 and my mother is terminally ill with secondary breast cancer. She was first diagnosed with secondary breast cancer back in July 2012 which came to a shock as she beat breast cancer 15/16 years ago. She is 55 years of age. Not long after her diagnosis back in 2012 we found out that it had spread to her bones and was taking various different medication from then on. Back this time last year (2014) she had to make the decision to start chemotherapy as all the hormone tablets she was on weren't doing enough for her body. My mam started chemotherapy tablets back in March 2014 and worked for several months having scans inbetween to keep up to date with her illness. Sadly back in October last year (2014) we found out the cancer had spread to my mams brain after she suffered from 3 brain seizures and was put on life support and we got told she only had 24 hours left to live. Still to this day my mam is still fighting!! Since October things have been a struggle. She has suffered another 10 brain seziures over the past 4 months, including 3 which she suffered recently. Back in December (2014) we got told that the cancer had spread into the liver and also her right lung had started filling up with a small amount of fluid. My mam started Chemotherapy just before christmas 2014 and had it for 7 weeks. Within the past week we have found out that it hasn't worked at all and the cancer has got bigger in her liver. Things aren't as good as we hoped but she is thinking of starting an alternative chemotherapy very soon which we hope it can keep the cancer under control for some time. I'm only 19 and consider myself very young, I have an older brother whos 22. We both live at home with my mum and also my dad. Lately I've been struggling to come to terms with her terminal illness as it's becoming more real to me. Back in December we were given a prognosis of 3-6 months and the thought of that scares me. My dad is a full time carer for my mum and I do my best as much as I can for her when I'm in the house and not in work. 

I thought I'd share my story on here as I feel sometimes letting it out helps. Loads of families suffer from this cruel disease and sites like this helps let go of emotions. 

Any advice or support is much appreciated as I'm struggling at this difficult time. Love Rebecca x

  • Hi Rebecca

    Am so sorry that you have need to join this forum but hope you can draw some support from being here. I joined when my husband was terminally diagnossed and have found the ongoing friendship albeit virtual a very useful way of offloading when things got on top of me.  You are young to be going through such a traumatic time but sounds as though your Mum is one hell of a fighter and its sometimes so hard watching that fight. There is a also another support forum for young people/teenagers with parents who are suffering from cancer and its called RipRap.  I hope you will get others here along to help with support and advice soon but I too found it helped to write feelings down. Take care Jules54

  • Hi reRebecca my name is sara I am 31 and my mum is dying from cancer so I know exactly how you feel. You are far too young to be going through this I feel way too young and I am much older than you. I joined this site to speak to people that would understand what I'm going through and it has been a good thing for me. I hope it will help you too. I'm here to listen when you need, take care of yourself sara xx

  • Hi Jules54 

    Thanks for your response. My mam is one true fighter and is not ready to give up just yet. It's very hard day in day out to watch her suffer and knowing what's going on inside her body. Thank you for that information, I shall have a look at RipRap to see whether it will help me more. Thank you, you take care also. Rebecca x

  • Hi Sara thank you for taking time to read this and to reply. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time yourself. It's traumatic and heart breaking and it's all hitting home at the moment for me. I'm hoping it will help me in time too. Thank you very much and I'm also here to listen when you need to as well, take care, Rebecca xx

  • Hi Rebecca

    Do hope you can get the extra support you need during this difficult journey and if you need extra advice you can also phone the nurses on this site for a more personal conversation (free on most landlines between 9-5 Mon to Friday) - number on this page. Am sure it will be good to be able to chat/read with others of a like age on RipRap.  Look after yourself.Jules

  •  Hey Becca! Your mums Cancer sounds nearly the same as my mums..I'm only new to this Cancer chat&getting used to using this..my mum is 55 also&had breast cancer 17/18years ago and 4years ago it has returned in her bones slowly spending every area..from her back to rib to shoulders&now legs..then last week we found out there is something in her bowels.she to has been on tabs to try control if not slow it down..I too am struggling as knowing there no cure.im sure you are like myself in front of her your strong but behind it all its worst feeling ever.ive started attending counselling which my mum knows nothing about.it like a release where I can talk and cry it all out!try talking to your dad too as he might need to hear how you are feeling.take care SINEAD x