Hi Tasha,

Smiling to try and hide your emotions regards bad situations is something I also used to do when I was younger. Even a few years ago when my mother was suffering from breast cancer, I did exactly the same thing. In a way it's quite natural because we are trying to make others believe we are coping, when inside we are feeling so much pain and uncertainty, mostly because we dont want them worrying about us even more. The fact that you say you have struggled with your emotions all your life tells me you are a very sensitive and caring person. Emotions are a powerful force and are often underestimated by most people until they find themselves in a similar situation to yours. 

It is so hard watching someone we love suffering and it's even harder accepting it. I know what you are going through so please keep in contact for talking does help.

Sending best wishes and kind thoughts, Brian.