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My dad

Denise1034
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My dad has liver cancer which first started 3 years ago in his bowel. He has had three lots of chemo has been told that chemo is not working, this was last week. Dad has decided with his consultant that no more treatment will be given. Dad is 84 , lives alone I live 50 miles away . Dad has said when it comes to him getting really unwell he will take some tablets to end his life, as he does not want his family having to see him like that. I have tried talking to him but he is not listening we don't want him to do anything silly. Dad is going to see his Dr this week I don't know if I should call his Dr and tell him what my dad has said . I really don't know what to do I would stay with my dad but right now he won't hear of putting us through that .

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    Oh Denise, I totally second what Jo has written - very wise words. I am at a loss to say anymore = my dad was like this - I guess it was his Army background - he left us twenty years ago and is keenly missed. I know my Dad was right and trying to help us -

    Let me send you and your family and Dad many hugs and light at this time

    We stand along side you

    Steven xx

  • Offline in reply to brighteyes
    Thank you Steven Just so very hard at the moment dad wants to do what he thinks is right for his family, but how can I tell him I don't want him to do anything silly I will help him every step of the way making sure his last months weeks are with his family and in his home . My world is being pull apart trying to stay strong for the rest of the family and my dad, I am strong on the outside and falling to bits inside, if that makes sense . Thank you again helps by just chatting about it as it's hard saying how you feel to family
  • Offline in reply to Denise1034

     

    Denise .... we all say things we dont mean when we are in your Dad's situation. When further bad news strikes, we go into the protect our most treasured people mode (the family).  With the news I had this week, I was going to disappear all over the place, take too many tablets, drown myself and end it all.  Its a natural part of the process. I do agree you should tell your GP dad's feelings though. My oncologist had a straight chat with me and told me what may happen and how it would affect myself and my family.  He assured me that he would do his utmost to help us all in everyway possible so that we could all be together and put no undue pressure on any us.  It was hard to hear but when you know what you are potentially facing it is hopefully what you can all aim for united.  Of course you want to be there for your Dad and he knows that, it just takes a wee while to accept new news and make a logical and informed decision.  Ask as much as you can and use Mcmillan who are priceless x

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  • Offline in reply to Denise1034

     

    Denise .... we all say things we dont mean when we are in your Dad's situation. When further bad news strikes, we go into the protect our most treasured people mode (the family).  With the news I had this week, I was going to disappear all over the place, take too many tablets, drown myself and end it all.  Its a natural part of the process. I do agree you should tell your GP dad's feelings though. My oncologist had a straight chat with me and told me what may happen and how it would affect myself and my family.  He assured me that he would do his utmost to help us all in everyway possible so that we could all be together and put no undue pressure on any us.  It was hard to hear but when you know what you are potentially facing it is hopefully what you can all aim for united.  Of course you want to be there for your Dad and he knows that, it just takes a wee while to accept new news and make a logical and informed decision.  Ask as much as you can and use Mcmillan who are priceless x

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