My mum had jaundice before Christmas and I had had a car accident and fractured my sternum so was unable to drive. I saw mum on Christmas Day and she looked shocking. I persuaded her to go for a scan which I took her too and they thought it was gallstones and referred her for an urgent CT scan which would take 4 weeks. Mum could not wait that long so I spoke to her GP and got her admitted to hospital. Mum also has COPD but managed well with oxygen. She is booked inter next day for a camera down her throat to look at the gallstones. The procedure failed and mum is feeling very ill. On Monday, the doctor wants to see dad and me and tells us it is not gallstones but gall bladder cancer which has spread. Over the next 4 days my mum has deteriorated beyond recognition. The doctors put in a drain to help the liver function but said that they could do no more. I came home with mum in the ambulance today and she is so relieved to be home. I am nursing mum with the help of my sister. I am suffering from panic attacks at the thought of losing her. She is becoming more confused and then is occasionally lucid. I cannot bear to see her decline and have never experienced it. I want to be with her all the time but I need some emotional support as I am plunging into a deep depression. How does anyone else cope with this?
Hi Naomi, so sorry to see the reason why you have joined this forum of wonderfully caring people. First of all I would suggest you give the nurses a call on 0808 800 4040 available 9 am-5pm Mon - Fri for advice. What plan of action have the doctors put in place for mum? Do you have a McMillan nurse as yet or medical team helping you? What a shock this news must have been to you all. It hits you like a wrecking ball. The medication mum is taking can result in confusion. Do you know where the cancer has spread to? Have you a network of friends who can help you through this time? It is good to vent , talk and cry and is a much required release. You have to take care of yourself too so I hope you are remembering/making the effort to eat. I understand you want to spend every minute with mum. I fully understand where you are coming from having nursed hubby at home palliative care till he passed. Many others here have also walked in your shoes and I expect they will be responding to you also. Small consolation Naomi but you are not alone. Sending you hugs. Kathy x
