Just to let you all know been told she has only a matter of weeks left

Hi Candy

Sorry I am only getting back to you now.  My hours at work have all been changed.  I am so sorry to hear the update on your mum Candy and my heart goes out to you and your family. You are all in my prayers.  Sometimes you wonder why but suppose we have to hold on to the power of prayer don't we.  I have asked myself that many times.

It is going to be a tough few weeks for you all.

I read you are worried about work.  Just explain to your employer what the consultant has told you and if he/she has any compassion they will understand fully how you feel.

Spend as much time as you can with your mum Candy because nobody knows the hold this cruel evil disease has on people.

Don't be worrying about having to reply Candy because I know you have enough to cope with at the moment.  I will be checking in to see how you are coping.

Constantly in my thoughts Candy

Take care and look after yourself (hugs)

Mickied

Hi everyone

Sorry I haven't had the time to reply to you all! Will just write a quick reply to you all

My mum is still with us and seems to be making such a big improvement. Of course I know she isn't going to be cured but nice to see her eating a lot and being bright and happy. Still been going to work and going to the hospice after work. Yes Mickied you are right I am pretty exhausted from it all finding myself so tired all the time but I'm not complaining. Had to take a night off recently as I was very sick and didn't want to pass it on.

Sorry for such a short reply I am just about to go to bed for an early night

Take care everyone xxx

Hi Candy,

Don't worry about apologising for a short reply; you and your mother has to be the main priority. So pleased to hear she is improving and hope this continues. Make the most of these times Candy for the memories will help in the future. Our mother are made of stern stuff and at times it make you wonder where they get their reserves of energy from. They can be right down one day and next day they bounce right back. You do however have to take care of yourself though Candy, for the strain that this evil disease puts on all of us takes it's toll both emotionally and physically. You need to stay strong for what is to come.

Wishing you and your mother all the best, Brian

Hi there Candy,

I am so pleased that yourt Mum seems to be doing so well since she went into the hospice although I am sorry you have been ill yourself recently.

I hope you slept well after your early night and that your Mum is still feeling good when you see her later.  As brian has said you must take care of yourself and keep your strength up and whenever you feel a slight lack of it we will see if we can pick you back up again.

Wishing you the best Candy,

Garf. x

Hi Brian! How have you been?

Yeah its amazing to see her transformation from what she was like in hospital to how she is now.. Just shows you what good care can do for people! And she seems to have more of an appetite at the hospice.. But i guess this is down to them actually making sure patients actually eat, whereas at the hospital they were just bringing her the food and leaving her to it. Most of the time she was in too much pain to eat! The more i think about it the more i get annoyed at the care she received at the hospital.. Thinking of making a complaint against them!

Your right it is draining dealing with all of it, but whenever i feel like its getting to me i just tell myself i can get through it and that how i feel is nothing compared to how my mum must feel. So i am plodding along for now and trying to  stay positive and make the most of the time i have left with her

xxxx

Hi Garf, how are you?

Yeah its great to see her now, looking so much better! Like i said to Brian it is mostly down to the care she is receiving! They have eased up on the pain medication and stopped giving it to her by a pump in her arm and she is now being given them in tablet form. And she is eating a lot more which is good! Seems to be hungry a lot more often now.. Guess cause she isnt in as much pain!

Yeah unfortunately i hadnt been feeling well recently. But got a good night sleep last night and am feeling much better today! Hopefully a quick day in work then off to visit!

How did you work night go?

xxx

Hi Candy,

Apart from some of us being left on the street in the freezing cold waiting for a coach that never turned up the evening went pretty well.  The hotel I work at won one award and we were nominated for three others which out of a group of over sixty hotels is not bad going.  We were pleased anyway and so are the others at work now that we have had a chance to tell them.

How was your Mum last night?  Does she have anymore hair do's or pampering to look forward to?

Garf. xx

Hi Candy,

I am very well, thank you for asking. Hospice's are very good at controlling pain and this must have made such a difference to your mother. The fact she that she is eating better now also has a bearing on how she is feeling. I hope this continues. With regard to you continuing working, I think you are doing exactly the right thing. I too had to work when my mother was in hospital/ hospice and like you helped to take my mine off her suffering if only for a short while.

Sending best wishes to you both, Brian.

Hi Garf! Oh dear that isn't very good! How did you all get home!! Oh congratulations that's amazing :)!

She was good, a little tired but we caught up on some soaps and had a look through some of my childhood photos and had a laugh at them! The hairdresser was due round either today or tomorrow my mum couldn't remember for sure which day, so hopefully she will have had a nice wash and blowdry! I painted her nails the other week so they are still ok not needing re done just yet!

I am feeling a little sad today not sure why! Maybe cause I am tired and having a rubbish day at work !

Are you upto much over the weekend?

xx

Afternoon Brian, that's good I'm glad you are well!

Yeah it's amazing the difference proper treatment can make to a person!

I find it easier keeping routine and coming to work for now. And although I'd love to be at the hospice all the time I don't feel I need time off just now since she is doing ok and would rather keep my time for when it's really needed. She has loads of visitors during the day anyway my aunt and her friends etc so she's never alone.. Although sometimes I think she finds all the visitors a bit much and it tires her out.

Feeling a bit down today.. Must be having an off day lol

xxx

Hi Candy,

Sorry to hear you are feeling a little sad although that is to be expected sometimes especially if you are having a bad day at work.  That plus being tired in general is bound to make you feel low occasionally.  Maybe we could start a "having a bad day at work" club together as I have had a couple of difficult days in my job too.  At least my boss from head office is coming down for a visit in three weeks which means a meal and a few drinks so I am looking forward to that.

I am hoping to get a round of golf in this weekend but this hideous weather we are having to put up with may put an end to those plans.  Whatever happens I can guarantee that I will be sharing a small part of the weekend with my good friend Mr Boddingtons.  He doesn't talk much but is good company none-the-less.

I hope you can have a good weekend yourself but whatever happens try and find some time to relax and wind down.  Maybe watch a favourite film or listen to some music.  Whatever you can do it is important to charge your batteries.

My thoughts and best wishes are with you.

Garf. xx

Hi Candy,

Sorry to hear you are feeling a little sad although that is to be expected sometimes especially if you are having a bad day at work.  That plus being tired in general is bound to make you feel low occasionally.  Maybe we could start a "having a bad day at work" club together as I have had a couple of difficult days in my job too.  At least my boss from head office is coming down for a visit in three weeks which means a meal and a few drinks so I am looking forward to that.

I am hoping to get a round of golf in this weekend but this hideous weather we are having to put up with may put an end to those plans.  Whatever happens I can guarantee that I will be sharing a small part of the weekend with my good friend Mr Boddingtons.  He doesn't talk much but is good company none-the-less.

I hope you can have a good weekend yourself but whatever happens try and find some time to relax and wind down.  Maybe watch a favourite film or listen to some music.  Whatever you can do it is important to charge your batteries.

My thoughts and best wishes are with you.

Garf. xx

Hi again Garf

Awk I am feeling ok now , think it was just me being tired and having a long day at work. Visited mum tonight and she wasn't so good, they think she has taken a dip, back on painkillers via pump in her am and she was very sleepy so I only stayed a few hours and left her to get an early night, she looks so frail and thin laying there, breaks my heart everytime I see her! Yes I am all for creating this club, I'm sure people would be queueing up to join! That's good that will give you something to look forward to and give yourself a wee break

Oh dear are you in amongst all these floods and storms? I see them on the news but luckily up in scotland we aren't so bad.. Yet! This weekend I have a night out with my friends.. Well I hope anyway! I feel bad going out but I will be going to visit after work as usual and up the next day.. I guess I can't put the rest of my life on hold.. Just not sure I will enjoy myself but I shall try

xxxx

Hi Candy

Sorry for only getting back to you now.  Pity you couldn't finish work a few hours before you are supposed to just to give yourself a wee break - time to wind down a bit.

I always found music helped me to wind down but everyone is different.  I see you are from Scotland across the way from me in a wee town called Belfast.

I read your mum has taken another dip in her wellbeing but remember Candy she is in the best place and they can't do enough for the patients in the hospices so she is in very good hands.

I know it may reassure you but it must be so hard looking at her almost feeling helpless.

Still in my thoughts and prayers Candy and I will keep checking in to see how you are doing.

Mickied

Just like Mickied I have just noticed from your "accent" that you are Scottish.  My boss at head office who I am looking forward to seeing is from Glasgow.  I on the other hand couldn't be further away as I live on the South Coast although I am originally from North Wales.  We are managing to avoid most of the flooding for now but the constant rain and wind along with the already saturated ground means we are pretty fed up with the weather right now.  I had no idea that one sky could hold so much rain.

Candy I am sorry your Mum seems to have had a dip and I know exactly what you mean when you say that seeing her so thin is heartbreaking.  As people seeing someone we love fall ill we feel utterly helpless but you have honestly been amazing in the way you have dealt with this and I for one am proud of you.

You mustn't feel bad for going on a night out with your friends as like I said you have to find some "me time".  To contradict myself though I remember being invited out by my boss and work colleagues one time while Dad was ill and I turned them down because, like you I didn't want to feel bad about trying to have fun and I figured I probably wouldn't enjoy myself either.

Stay strong and I will be interested to know how your night out goes if it happens.

Garf. xx

Hi Mickied. No need to apologise

I know it would be nice to get out of work a bit earlier and chill for a while before coming to the hospice but oh well not to worry!  I will have a chilled out weekend and try to relax. Yeah I like to listen to music too and read a wee book!

Oh you are from belfast, lovely! I visited there a few years ago although don't ask me about it as it was a wild weekend and I do not recall much lol! Took the ferry there and back, not good with a hangover!!

Yeah the hospice have been amazing much better than the hospital. It is very hard watching her become weaker but I am just trying to be strong

xxxx

Well done I am indeed Scottish! Yeah I am pretty near Glasgow :)!! It is strange thinking everyone on here is from so many different places! Yet we are all brought together by one awful disease! Oh I know what you mean, we are used to this rubbish weather up here in scotland ! Although it's nothing compared to what those poor people are dealing with in amongst the floods!!

Yeah it is hard seeing her so frail. She seemed a bit brighter tonight although still confused. The old friend I mentioned before came back to visit again which was nice surprise for her! Aw thank you that's very nice of you to say you are proud of me thank you!

Yeah it's hard to decide whether to go out and try have fun.. But I think I might just go and try enjoy myself. I will visit during the day and stay until after dinner then leave to get myself ready and back up the next day!

Are you doing much over the weekend?

xxxx

Hi Candy

I have to say in Belfast we have been very lucky with the weather compared to other parts of the UK.  I have always considered going to Scotland even for one day.  I would be no good on a boat - seasick and all that.

Just want to say I hope you enjoy your weekend out with your friends.  It will do you good to get out and try to relax.  Remember your mum is in good hands.

Take care and chat soon

Mickied

Hi Candy,

I am not up to very much this weekend as the weather is going to put a stop to any plans I may have made.  This means no golf and no tennis.  STUPID WEATHER!

Happy to see your Mum's friend paid her another visit which I am sure will always cheer her up.

I am at work myself so I'm afraid this is a short reply.  Enjoy your night out and give me details afterwards.

Take care.

Garf. xx