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Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Dear Jules, thank you for keeping us updated. The little ones do make us smile, they are truly a gift. You are in all our thoughts and very much in our hearts. Kathy xx
  • Dear Jules, have only just logged on and am so sorry to read that you have lost your dear hubby, my heart goes out to you and your family. Jules you have always been so strong and you have continually supported others - you dont have to be strong now, and now is the time to let others support you. All your forum buddies are here for you. Sending a hug. Hope xx
  • Dear Jules, so glad you feel surrounded by love; in reality and virtually. (Absolutely no need to worry about 'personal' replies either!) Your story about your grandson made me both wince and smile. No doubt the lady doctor had experienced ' high winds ' before. I hope your 'littlies' continue to bring the smiles rolling in among the tears. So glad your GP is continuing to keep an eye on you now too. Draw on all that support, Jules. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts lovely lady. Much love Jo xx
  • As I knew you would you are managing to deal with things with the same courage you have shown throughout this journey.  I am so happy that your family is being the rock that you need them to be and for your Mum to react to the news the way she did I guess was a little strange to deal with.

    I am forced to agree with Jo and say there is obviously no need to worry about any personal replies here as, at the end of the day, we are all part of your extended, virtual family so you can simply tell us anything you like whenever you like.

    Love and more hugs.

    Garf. xx

  • Good morning Jules,

    Sorry for not responding sooner but have had quite a busy morning and didnt want to rush my response. Thank you for finding the time to update us all as I know how much there is to organise. I can appreciate what you said about topping up phones  for when my mother died I spent at leat a day just phoning to let people know, and as I know all to well, it's so hard  on the emotions and very draining. Though there is so much to organise, I found it helped to keep busy. Like you, I was not surprised at the resonse you have recieved for it's a great forum to belong to, and you are very much loved and respected for all that you do on the forum.

    I am so pleased your doctor is also keeping an eye on you and that your family have rallied round you, for the love of a family makes things a little easier to help us cope. Hope your grandson is feeling better today re the bang on the head.  Our young people do have the abilty to make us feel better and I know that like me, you love your grandchildren to bits.

    I have agreed to give a talk of about 15 minutes  a week tommorow about my cancer experiance to several senior staff from Brighton Hospital which will be in a room at the Brighton football stadium. This is something I would never have done before having cancer. Just goes to show how much it has changed me.

    Anyway enough about me. Dont worry about individual replies Jules, for you have so much to do. Even though Mrs B has not posted you at all, even she was thinking about you yesterday. So many people are thinking of you and all your forum buddies are here for you at any time. As you have said many times Jules, just take things one step at at time and know we are here for you.

    Sending big hugs and kind thoughts, your forum buddie Brian

  • Good morning Jules,

    Lovely to hear from you and to hear you have so much love and support both at home and on here. As Brian says you have been a very giving and special person on here. 

    The grandchildren will always delight and make you laugh. Your eldest is a character and your little Zack is doing well. Your daughter will certainly have her hands full. 

    I am glad your GP will keep an eye on you, thats as it should be. 

    Keep us informed of how your doing love,

    hugs 

    Annabel. xxxxx

  • Jo,

    Do you know if pm ing has been restarted yet???

    hugs 

    Annabel. xxxxx

  • Not as yet as far as I am aware. Kathy
  • Hi Annabel, I think Kathy is right and as yet, PM is not up and running. Such a shame as I know many used the facility. Max and I actually exchanged email addresses through the PM facility before it closed down, though whilst I know not everyone wants to 'share' this sort of information, I wish I'd had your address to keep in touch with you. (I think your middle name is 'Elusive' hehe!) Safe to say, I think about you often and notice when you offer your support on the forum. (I have put messages to you within my posts to others, but with the lack of paragraphs they're very tricky to spot!) Hope you're ok, Annabel? Take care, much love, Jo xx Hi Kathy, hope you're ok too? Enjoying the heat while we've got our heating on! ;) much love Jo xx ( a fellow paragraph free entity!) xx
  • Hello Jules ,I hope Zac hasnt any nasty after efects after the bump on his head and is back to his normal self .I had to take my sonJustin to the The wellbeing center to be checked this morning he goes monthly as he had a suberacnoid haemorage {brain }in 2011}and his memory is affected and he gets bad headaches too so they keep a close eye and give helpful advice too ..the weather is nice today dry and 12 degs so Rusty and I had a nice early walk .Your dear mum reacting the way she did did maybe memories of her hubby surfaced and she remembers how she felt and is upset for you at this sad time ....I hope you have lots of company and they are looking after you well .I wont forget the support you gave me after loosing Tony that helped so much and hope we can all help you now  ..Jules like others have said dear dont worry about returning everyones messages but just know we are thinking of you xx Big Hugs  XX Sueanne