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Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • So sorry to read your news Jules.

    We are all thinking of you and your family.

    Best wishes

    Jane and all at Cancer Chat

     

  • Oh my darling Jules, I am so sad to read your post. You could not have done any more than you did. What a wonderful wife and best friend your man had. What more could a person ask for. He is at peace now. What wonderful years you had, what memories will sustain you in the time to come. Your virtual friends are here for you as you have been here for so many of us. We love you, more than you realise. if I could fly across and hug you I would. Blooming privacy rules and lack of pm site prevents me Rest up now,eventually your swollen eyelids will no longer be swollen. Family will be surrounding you with love. Hugs and lots of love Kathy xx
  • Oh dear Jules Im so very sorry for your loss of your dear hubby its with tears I write Im thinking of you at this very sad time words are hard to find ..BIG HUGS XX..Sueanne

  • Oh Jules!

    What can I say except I am so terrribly sorry that hubby has been taken from you. 

    You have both faced what cancer has done to you with courage and dignity and I have no doubt you will continue in that same way even though it must seem pretty impossible right now. 

    My thoughts are with you and your family now more than ever and you know we are all here for you to do what we can.

    You have been such a good friend for a long time now and so just know that there is a person on the South coast who is thinking of you and your family during this tough time.

    Very big and many hugs to you Jules.

    Garf. xxxx

     

  • Dear Jules, 

    I am so sorry to read of your husbands passing and so quickly. I am also sorry it has taken me until now to get on this site and read your news. 

    I am sure that you will have lots of support from both your friends and family. It was so lovely that your grandson gave his grandad some advice before he went home. Your friends on here are also here for you and will continue to be in the time ahead. 

    Sending loads of very big virtual hugs to a very special lady. xxxxxAnnabel. xx

  • Jules,

    You and your family are in our thoughts.
     

    Dave
    xx

     

  • Jules, I am so sorry to learn that you have lost your dear husband. My heart goes out to you tonight and I hope you find comfort in the knowledge that you were with him every step of the way. Take care of yourself and you know that all of the people here on the forum are thinking of you at this difficult time.

    Lorraine 

  • Really really sorry to hear of your news. There's a whole world of words out there, and yet I wouldn't be able to find enough or the right mix to express my condolences for you and your family right now. So just know that I have you and your family in my thoughts and sending hugs your way. Take care, Terri xx
  • Hi everyone,WOW am blown away by all your kind words (should not really be surprised knowing the forum rather well.  HUGE THANKS TO EVERYONE (wish I had the time to post to each and everyone of you separately as you have all been such rocks during hubby's journey (and thus mine also) but as you can imagine there is much to look into and arranged (of course the ball is rolling already!). Family support for each other is in place (topping up phones is costing a fortune but who cares!!!).  Hoping to take care of more official side of things tomorrow but there has been a delay in Certificate  being signed as doc off sick - could only happen to me. Nonetheless plenty to see to.  Have been to see Mum to give her the news (watched her cry for the first time since my Dad died) and have been welcoming visitors who wish to pay condolences and also sharing stories, tea and cakes at friends in between times. Due to time of year (and backlog!!) could be 2/3 weeks before we can say our final goodbye but for now I am very lucky to be surrounded by love both in reality and virtualality (is that a word!!).

    Of course it would not be normal if the grandkids did not manage to steal the show - eldest has spent the evening at A & E with Daddy as he raced round the flat, tripped and practically knocked himself out on the door frame.  He is now back home and dare I say this (oh well here goes) gave the lady doctor something to laugh at as he could not stop passing wind during observation (no doubt will hear all about it when I see him next) and has an enormous 'egg'on his head plus mild concussion. My poor daughter!!!!   To counteract that news, Zack took his first unaided steps yesterday and is giving us all so much to smile about inbetween the tears.

    GP has signed me off till end of the month (initially) so will pop that certificate into work later in the week and say hi to everyone there and instead of her seeing hubby at next scheduled appointment has told me to come in on that day so she can 'keep an eye on me'.

     

    Sorry for long ramble but with such great support here feel the need to touch base.  Hope you all are managing your own situations in the best way you can and send virtual hugs and enormous thanks once again.  Jules x

     

  • Dear Jules I have answered you on Brians amazing quotes thread ,take care thinking of you and sending more hugs Sueanne xx