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Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Hi Jules, hope you manage a few hours rest tonight. It's beautiful to hear family are pitching in and spending time with you both and the little tackers as always bringing a smile. You are a much loved lady whose buddies have you both in their thoughts and prayers. Bad bushfires 20 km away, have been ready to evacuate for 24 hours but hope it doesn't come to that. Last really bad one was in 1983 before I came here so have never been in this position before. At the end of the day it's only bricks and mortar and can be replaced eventually. Big hugs honey, Kathy xx
  • Hi Kathy

    Saw about the bushfires on the news.  Will be keeping everything crossed that you will be spared that trauma. Stay safe caring lady.

    Awaiting return phone all from doc re visit to sort hubby's catheter problems - failure to produce urine for over 24hrs causing discomfort and previous catheter caused trauma but no relief. If no sleep possible tonight will consider arranging night nurse which has been offered as and when required. (recommended by twilight team who visited about hour or so ago and want doc to assess hubby. Support network holding up and we are bringing comfort to each other - very precious.

    Be careful.  Hugs  Jules x

  • Hi Jules,  Just to let you know I am thinking of you.  I've been reading your posts and you are truly amazing in what is a very stressful and emotional time.  I'm so glad your family are there for you.  Sending you a hug.  Hope x

  • Thinking of you and hubbie tonight Jules x

  • Evening Hope and Max

    Forum is keeping me sane with your wonderful support. Am truly grateful. Just doing what a girl has to do for her man.  He has been my rock for so many years and in some small way just returning the favour. Plenty of time to fall apart later but he needs re-assurances now.  Jules x

     

  • to my faithful forum buddies

     

    It is with sadness that I write to say

    Last night my hubby passed away

    Generous in Life, dignified in death

    At peace now with final breath

    Forty plus years you were by my side

    May my memories remain once the tears are gone

     

    Jules xx

  • Oh Jules,

    I am so very sorry to read your latest post and thank you for letting us know. You must be feeling absolutely devastated. My thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time and I would just say, your forum buddies are here for you as you have been for so many on here. There is one small cosolation and that is hubby did not suffer a long and painful end .

    Please take care Jules, Both I and Mrs B will be thinking of you today, Brian.

  •  

    Dear Jules.  I am so very sorry.  May it help you in some small way to know that others are thinking of you and are always here for you when needed x

  • Dearest Jules, I am so saddened and sorry to read your latest post. I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling, but I hope your forum buddies can now offer you the same wonderful support that you have offered to so many on here. You are amazing! Sending much love to you and your family. Thinking of you all, Jo xxx
  • Oh, Jules = I went to bed thinking of you, Hubby and yr family and awoke to find this. I am so very sorry. I am sure you feel so tired today = so rest well and take it easy today. 

    We will be thinking of you

    you are such a kind and caring person 

    an inspiration 

    steve xxx