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Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Hi Jules, Sorry to read of recent developments, good hubby is pain free and relaxed. When doc arrives you could ask if clomazapin would help to have on hand. It is an anti anxiety med. if you need/want to talk Pls txt me your home no and I will call you back whenever you want me too. I found it was in the middle of the night when house quiet and hubby asleep that I felt so alone and although had people I could call didn't want to disturb them knowing they had work to go to. Mob no xxxxxxxxxx You are such a loving, giving lady. Good to see support is there for you from medical team, family and friends. Love and big hugs Kathy xx
  • Thanks so much Kathy but would you believe I have a hubby who now decides that its time to talk, in between dozing, He is so calm that in itself is disturbing, even answered the doctors question to me 'can he speak a full sentence' with the response 'what the hell does he want me to say'!! He is also getting fed up having the urge to pass water with negative results.  Jules x

  • Our men never ceases to amaze us. Good he is calm and talking a wee bit. I bet you he made you smile. Remember to have a biccy with your coffee, but off sugar might not harm you. Kathy Xx
  • Come on the boys!! Well done for being so brave and constant. I am off to work today = but will keep you in mind x x if I haven't already said it : Happy New Year

  • Dear Jules im so sorry things have taken a turn for the worse just  to let you know I am thinking of you and your family  at this difficult time ..BIG HUGS SENT ..Sueanne x

  • Good morning Jules,

    I am sorry to hear of your hubbys deterioration. It is good to hear you are getting loads of good support, both family and professionals. Will keep a closer eye on things when I can and be here for you as much as possible. sometims it's good to chat as you and lots of others on here know. Take care of yourself as well hun. 

    Many virtual hugs 

    Annabel. xxxxx

  • Good morning Sueanne

    Thanks for your kind words.  Time just passing us by. Had doc out in early hours to give another dose of medication to help with 'gurgling' fluid as he put it. Hubby wants to be up but has no strength as you can imagine.  Just waiting for morning nurse to come in to check driver/dosage.  All very calm and cosy indoors which is more than can be said for weather outside - wet and miserable.  Children shopping for supplies before popping round later.  Take care of yourelf. Jules x

  • Good morning Jules,

    I just wanted to add my thoughts and best wishes to everyone elses after hubby has now turned so poorly.  Why does this damn disease only seem to want to hurt the good people of the world?

    I am at least glad he seems relaxed at the moment although I understand why that would cause you further concern,  at least the social services are doing such a good job of taking care of him, and you come to that and I also know how much your family's continued supprt means to you.

    Please take care Jules and accept more virtual hugs from me to go with the others.

    Garf. xxx

     

  • Oh Jules,

    I am sorry to read your latest posts. Hubby had been stable for so long so to now go downhill so quick must be taking it's toll on both of you. I am pleased he is talking to you now for I know this was always hard for you to deal with. He sounds very brave. Will be thinking of you both, sending really big hugs, Brian.

  • Good morning Annabel.  Thanks for your kind thoughts and support.  As you know never had a problem chatting and did quite a bit during the night in between cat-napping! GP is in constant touch and nurses coming in regularly to monitor.  Surprisingly calm and tranquil at present. Think hubby just wanted to have Christmas/New Year sorted and is lucid and matter of fact, if not a bit frustrated because he cannot move out of bed.  I need to wait until nurses come in but he is still helping himself to drinks from side table.  Have just taken down decorations and done housework so can relax with family when they pop in.

    Hope all well with you and yours.  Jules x