Hi Jo

Do not work Fridays but helped with our 'Black Friday' set up as it began on Thursday lol.  Of course I will be in on Monday for the 'reversal' of the set up.  High Street certainly buzzing with lots of people but thankfully apart from some liquid gifts I am all sorted apart from writing cards .Working in retail means I don't fancy shopping after 5+ hrs on my feet!!  Do hopefully  have a day trip to Bath Christmas Market in a week's time (for the pure enjoyment of retail therapy!!) with my friend from work.

Dietician (we saw one way back when hubby had chemo) bascically is recommending different protein shakes for hubby to try but may be giving me a call as well.  Following my frustrating blub air is clear indoors and hubby has been trying to eat a little (and more often) when he is awake. I cannot ask for more bless him - we both have things to learn from this journey and feel sure that will be ongoing and I may well have to give myself some serious talkings to along the way but we are in it together which is the most important factor at present.

Thanks for your continued support - it all means a lot especially when those who use this community forum are going through enough themselves.  Have a good weekend and hope Paddy does not run you (your partner) ragged.  Take care, sending hugs  Jules x

Morning Jules,

I dont think you'll be doing much outside today if the weather here is anything to go by. My barometer has dropped way back since yesterday. A couple of weeks ago I gave one of my wood club member some friction polish as I dont use it and yesterday there was a knock on my door. He has given me a box load of exoctic / unusual homegrown timbers so will have to find something special to use them on.

We had a punch and judy performer at our wood club. The lady carves the figures while the husband is the performer. Took a lot of our member back to our chilhood. My son has some days of his holiday left so is finishing work today until the 5th of January.

While your hubby is sleeing so much, poor Mrs B has had several bad nights in a row and had very little sleep last night. I know this is something you mentioned you have problems with too. Garage is still nice and dry so it looks like sucess at long last. Came up with another idea for a short story last night while in bed. It's funny, I tend to do my best thinking late at night, with ideas for both stories and my woodturning. I suppose it's because there is no distractions like the TV.

I hope you dont have to go shopping today or if you do I hope hubby feels well enought to take you. I do hope hubby's sore improves soon for this must be very painful for him. Our elderly neighbour had a suspected cancerous growth removed from her should several weeks ago but is only now starting to heal up. She says her skin is very thing and some of the dressing hace caused problems as a result.

Take care Jules, I hope you have a peaceful weekend and are able to get to relax at some stage. Sending best wishes and kind thoughts, Brian

Hi Garf

Feel for your Mum as vertigo very unpleasant sensation.  Dad used to take tablets for it and wait for effects to pass and then would be much calmer about it all.  Mum also takes a 'balance' tablet due to irregularity within her ears - both ailments were diagnosed many years ago but the medication certainly helped to contro.  Am sure she really appreciates you staying in touch regularly - its not easy when you live so far away.  My friend from work is in Hay on Wye this weekend doing the pre-Christmas catch up with mother in law and her own Dad - both in their eighties and still living independently (her Dad is the local Dial a Ride driver too).

Hubby drove to get his blood test done yesterday and was  pretty tired on his return as he also picked up his 'pharmacy shopping' on the way back.  The pharmacist carried everything to the car and I unloaded it this end.  We are storing two different nutricious shakes (the newest one has been put on the menu by his dietician (smaller but packed with more goodness)) though  he is still finding difficult to get any enthusiasm for eating/drinking (and no doubt fed up with my reminders but its the only role I have other than to offer love and care).

We now have district nurse and palliative care coming on same day (Tuesday) and I had a chat with district nurse - she rang whilst hubby was out to change appointment time and explained that different 'pressure relief options' had  been offered but been declined by hubby.  They are concerned as this is not helping to get 'ulcer sore' healing and this is what is making hubby feel extra low (which he has admitted to!)  We are hoping that over a few days for him to think about a 'pressure relief mattress' (he can have this downstairs) he will agree (they told me it will be here within 48hrs of his saying yes).  In the meantime I am encouraging him to spend more time laying on the sofa.

  Am keeping everything crossed for Tuesday - have a busy day.  Eldest grandson  has his Nativity so I am babysitting for an hr or so in order that our daughter can go and watch (little ones not able to attend this year).  Then we will dash to care home to visit Mum and then I  need to get back home to be here for nurses' visit.  This is so I can have training for how to dress hubby's back as we should be at our son's over Christmas and will miss one nurses' visit.

Like yourself work is very busy now but I am not taking on increased hours (normally offer to help out a bit more at this time of year) as feel my place is at home as  much as possible (hubby does not want me to give up altogether and has consented to community nurses calling (according to his 'yellow folder'!).

Well have nattered enough and tonight, as my friend has a weekend away, I am treating our daughter to a bingo night out (providing her husband can get away from work in time).

Hope you taking care of yourself and finding the odd hour to relax with Mrs G.  Hugs   Jules x

Hi Kathy

Glad you  had a lovely time with kids/grandkids and no long before you can go back and be with them over the festive season.  I am sure this will be an emotional time for you all and being together as a family will be good for you all.  I am definitely sure you will never be an imposition (naughty girl for thinking as much) as I know how  much our daughter enjoys extra pair of hands!

If you see my response to Garf (long term mutual forum buddy) you can see what is going on with hubby and his situation.  His district nurses are being great in trying to help (he is turning out to be more stubborn than I could ever have imagined ha ha) and it will be an interesting group get together (palliative and GP team me and hubby) next Tuesday, followed by GP appointment late on Thursday (so I can get home from work in time to go too!) when we will have blood results and see what the next course of action may be.  Hubby slept in till past 11 today and has managed cereal as usual for his brunch.  Can only hope that he will feel able to make the most of the extra nutritional shakes we now have at home.  I feel I have to prompt him (I care too much not to) even though I am not sure if I am doing the right thing as there is not much of a response.  Suppose its natural to feel useless in current situation but not sure how else I should be reacting and just trying to do right thing for him.  Onwards and upwards eh!

Hope you have a relaxing weekend back home (bet pet and garden glad to have you there!) and I am now off to  make my lunch.  Take care and sending hugs. Jules x

Hi Brian

Its lovely that as Wood Club members you benefit from each other's thoughtfulness in swapping (this must be the grown up version of 'school swaps'.  I am sure you will come up with something wonderful to make the most of the different woods.  Your 'night thinking cap' is working overtime.

Do hope Mrs B gets a better night's sleep soon as its really draining after a succession of poor nights.  My 'flushes' have died down a little and my nights, though short (I have  never been one to sleep much more than 5/6 hrs, just like my Mum!) are a little less disturbed.  If I do wake that's when I think too  much!  Enough said.

Have updated hubby's situation in response to Garf so will  not repeat myself other than to say am keeping everything crossed that between his care team/GP/me and family we can keep him well enough to stay out of hospital (managed it so far on his journey through cancer). Its the back sore that has dragged him down understandably but am hopeful that we can talk him round as to accepting help offered.  He managed to get his bloods done at local hospital (drove himself too) even though district nurses will come in if asked.  Can fully understand he is trying to maintain some independence but is so much weaker with the weight loss  hitting hard.

When you posted I was just walking back from the launderette and the rain had stopped and now its brightened up quite a bit.  Garden still far too wet to be doing anything in other than to make sure bird feeders stocked up (their table/feeders probably resemble someone's nut storage area but I have daffodil bulbs shooting!!!!!!!! and its pretty mild today.  As the weather forecast says fine and frosty start tomorrow plan to do the weekly shop early (will be back before hubby surfaces).  I am helping out friends by looking after their 11 yr old for a couple of hours tomorrow evening so they can have pre-Christmas meal with their friends around here (moved out to Bucks last year) and then have a lazy day planned for Sunday.  The in-laws move should begin  on Tuesday so hope the ferry will be running otherwise they will face logistical nightmare with removal vans (both professional and brother in laws) in limbo. As yet we have still not got their new address so hope they keep their phones switched on!

Well have munched my way through lunch and  hubby is dozing having eaten his brunch so better go and do a bit of housework (could do with a gang of elves!).  Take care and hope you Mrs B and your neighbour have a peaceful and troublefree weekend.  Regards  Jules x

Hi Jules,

By now you will hopefully be playing bingo with your daughter who is bound to bring you that bit of extra luck for a win. I will think about you on your busy day on Tuesday especially learning to dress hubbys back and visiting your Mum.  My Mum is a lot better now and she hoped to still go Christmas shopping today but I don't know yet if she was well enough as I have not long got home from work and visiting Pat who I used to work for.

I am in for what should be a fully relaxing day tomorrow as Mrs G is off on a girls trip to London.  I am taking her to the train station for 8am and she won't be back until around 11pm so I will be home alone all day and evening.  I will have to try not to get myself into trouble!:p  She is then supposed to be going to Brighton for the full Christmas shop with the same crowd on Sunday but I have a sneaking suspicion they will be too tired for it so I may still be on "donkey duty" this year after all.>:)

I was very pleased to see that McLaren had finally come to their senses and given Jenson a two year deal to stay with them. He is said to have taken a pay cut to stay and so will now be paid a measly eight million a year. Shame for him eh!;)  He is still my favourite and am thrilled he is staying around for another couple of years.

Not much else to report here so I will sign off and just send hugs and best wishes your way.

Garf. xx

Hi Garf

Hope you enjoyed a peaceful weekend and that Mrs G achieved her shopping plans (no doubt cream-crackered by the time she got home) and enjoyed her girli/Christmas shopping.  Thankfully all  mine sorted and all cards sent/hand delivered.

Have had palliative care worker and district nurses here as planned today.  Options discussed as to a bed/pressure mattress to help relieve coccyx area (still refused by hubby though options remain open and we only need to put in request and it will be here within 48hrs).  I had my 'change the dressing' training so I can do the  necessary over Christmas whilst we are at our sons.  They were pleased to see 'no spread' and hubby has been laying down more than sitting so hopefully this will help.  He has also been suggested to switch to same level of medication but given just twice a day (slow release morphine) as hubby says he is not experiencing any breakthrough pain problems.  The new prescription can be upped as and when necessary or switched to patches if needs be.  I feel I am more in the know too which selfishly helps me!  As to the low eating/drinking they said he can do what he can manage when he can manage it (so my nagging needs to be put on hold!).

He has decided not to go out to the meal planned for this evening mainly because it entailed 'sitting' and too much food though he told me to go - I am staying at home too as it would not feel right being at a semi formal function without him.  We now just have GP routine appointment on Thursday so hopefully that will be it before the festivities(unless they decide then he needs transfusion - cross that bridge if it happens).

Thanks so much for your continued support and hope your Mum continues her improvement.

I have managed to babysit for a couple of hours (daughter and son in law watching eldest son's Christmas play), spent some time with Mum with daughter and Zack for company as well as being back home in time for nurses' visit so am now sitting with feet up and coffee (hubby having glass of milk and handful of chestnuts though today managed two weetabix for breakfast and also enjoyed daughter and Zack visiting for around an hour). 

Well that's enough of a ramble.  Wishing you a peaceful weekend (and yes very pleased Jenson gets to race next year too).  Regards  Jules x

Hi Kathy,

Thanks for your messages and support which are appreciated (though I wish it was not from first hand knowledge).  If you browse the reply to Garf above you will see where we are at (saves me repeating  myself ha ha).

It was somewhat of a relief to know I am doing all the right things (apart from nagging him to eat when he does not really want it) and have been given lots of reassurance that they are at the end on the telephone anytime I need to talk to them.  We are very lucky to have excellent local services which I can reach by bus though hubby still not interested in support of 'club' run by local hospice as prefers his own company. No doubt he will 'get it in the ear again' when he has GP appointment on Thursday afternoon - fingers being kept crossed that this may be the last 'check up' prior to Christmas.

Hope you are keeping well and will be thinking of you as am sure you are having your own emotional struggles whilst being so kind as to respond to 'like folk' on the forum.  As to my eating okay, this is my comfort (could probably do with cutting out naughty snacks though) which will no doubt come back to haunt me when I get on the scales (have avoided cholesterol check up as sure it will have gone up again  - oops).  Chat again soon.  Sending hugs  Jules x

Hi Jo

So nice to hear from you.  How are you doing?

Am counting down the hours to our appointment this afternoon and just feels like we are jumping hurdles towards Christmas at the moment.  Cannot believe I have managed to be organised though keeping busy seems the only way forward. So lucky to have supportive children close by as I know they must be struggling inside whilst bravely carrying on (we all know that feeling here).

Our 'Friday night socials' have continued so far though I am doubtful about  hubby making the walk to the pub this week though he is hoping to at least sit in with his mate over a glass of something whilt I am out with his wife.  Bingo prizes remain much the same (but depends on footfall) though to be honest the winning has become less important as its the getting out that offers the release just now.  Our friends also popped round for a cuppa yesterday afternoon.  As we could not attend the Christmas meal we were hoping to support on Tuesday I had asked them to buy raffle tickets on my behalf (raising funds for local hospice) and they turned up with three prizes for us!  The evening raised over £1200 so although not there in person we heard all about it which was lovely.

This Saturday is my work's Christmas meal so will see if I get to it. Its only for staff anyway but it will depend how things are.  I know hubby will want me to go as he tried to get me to go alone on Tuesday but that just did not feel right and have to go with my 'heart' at the moment.

With Christmas fast approaching work is understandably busy but their support has also been amazing and its helping with my coping mechanism as less time to think!

That new Aldi cheese sounds weird but wonderful and I have treated 'our table' to a basket of shortbread and fudge (both things that are very naughty but can be shared when people drop in). Hubby trying to up the amount of 'shakes' though know he is struggling (far to stubborn to admit it) and continues to refuse 'outside assistance/aids' (understand his need for independence but it would  make it easy for him and his body).

Take care and hope you are enjoying some peace and quiet before the festivities and maybe getting some strolls with partner and puppy (probably growing up fast - dog not other half ).  Sending hugs  Jules x

HI Jules,

I hope this afternoons meeting with gp weny well. Pleased to read you feel more in the knoe now;I feel it is always a help. I bet you and hubby will be pleased this is the last appointment before Christmas.

I have been a bit late on site  the last couple of days as Mrs B has also had her last appointment before Christmas, She is however a bit upset as she has been told her kidneys are not working as well as they should due in part to her diabetes.One more problem to add to her list and brings it up to about twelve health problems she faces on top of having to put up with me????? 

Sorry you did not feel like going to the charity do the other evening but can understand you felt you couldnt go without hubby as I often feel like this with Mrs B. Trouble is you can often feel guilty either way. Brother in law was in hospital again last weekend. He suffers from aterial fibrilation and collaped on Sunday morning. They have altered his heart medication and will just have to wait and see what happens. He got home on Tuesday and so far so good. My son has beten his personal best for his longbow by 41 points and is getting close to the county record.

I started writting this about a hour ago and had to stop for tea. Hope you enjoy your evening out tommorow and hubby enjoys a drink with his friend. Take care jules, Sending big hugs, Brian.

Hi Jo

By the time I posted this morning I had already been up an hour!!!  My usual get up time is 6 am and I leave for work at 7.30 but somehow my body clock does not differentiate between work and non work days lol.

Visit to GP had mixed results in that his bloods showed better levels than last time in most respects (a surprise even to the doctor!).  However it also flagged raised white cells which usually indicates an infection so she has prescribed antibiotics just in case which I can collect in the morning.  Another plus was that swab of his coccyx sore shows no infection present.  By the time we got home (he insisted on driving himself despite offer of a lift) he was shattered and is now curled up in front of the fire.  Unless things change he goes back in three weeks and must try and eat/drink as and when he can to try and improve energy levels.

Wishing you a peaceful and happy weekend.  Seasonal hugs.  Jules x

Hi Brian

Thanks for your kind words and GP check up had mixed results - good points were that ulcer is infection free (they took a swab to check) and also his blood tests showed improvement in some areas (so should not require blood transfusion) but also evidence of possible infection.  As he has been coughing a lot more in recent days she has prescribed a course of antibiotics to be on the safe side (especially with Christmas now fast approaching).  He is pretty wobbly on his pins (but refusing help as usual) so may not make it down the pub (too far to walk) but I am hoping he will feel up to keeping his mate company indoors as it will do him good to have some one else to chat with.   All staying stable his next check up will be in  mid January though district nurses will still come in twice a week for dressings.

Sorry to hear that Mrs B is experiencing kidney problems and hope new medication will help her out.  I know diabetes can have so many different affects on the body and I am sure you will be keeping an eye on her whilst she keeps as eye on the nut supplies!!!  Also hope the brother in law will continue to improve following his collapse which must be worrying for all concerned.

Have heard today that hubby's siblings arrived safely on the Isle of Man and his sister is now settling herself in (with her two cats) whilst brother and sister in law return to collect rest of belongings and their two dogs.  At least now we have an address and landline and before long they will be back online too so can keep them updated.

Well our daughter is taking me shopping in the morning (after I have been to launderette) so that should be my last trip before Christmas (will  just get in basic supplies as in theory we are away from Xmas Eve through to the 27th).  I only have two days left to do at work next week before a four day break though expect to be kept pretty busy.  Think we are non uniform on the 24th so may have to break out Christmas hat/jumper ha ha.

Have a peaceful weekend with Mrs B and good to see that your son is doing well.  Regards Jules x

Hi Jules,

Just wanted to drop you a quick line after being somewhat absent for the last week.  Work has been crazy and problematic to put it mildly and it's all too long winded to go into here.  I have also been doing some investigative work into Dad's past this last week.

I always knew that he served in the merchant navy and sailed up and down the east coast of America but I found out recently what shipping company he worked for.  As a result I have downloaded a great picture of the ship he was on but there is also a website that is still going run by the people who once worked for Manchester Shipping even though it has been out of business since the early eighties. I have given them as much detail as I can and I am hoping to be contacted by someone who knew him althouhg I know it is a long shot as there were many ships at the time that sailed all over the world.

Right I have to get back but I will send the compulsory hugs and best wishes to you both.

Garf. xx

Good morning Jules,

I hope you managed to get your shopping done okay yesterday. We have finished now until after Christmas. Sorry to hear hubby has an infection and hope medication soon clears it up. We are spending Christmas day on our own and think Mrs B will appreciate this. We have our son and family coming to us on Boxing day so this should be nice and will enjoy having the grandchildren here. My son took them up town yesterday as they had the great big American Coca Cola lorry up in the car park complete with all the lights and carol singers. Thats what I miss most of all regarding our modern Christmas is that we havent had any carol singers coming round for years now.

I expect work has been very busy for you last week and I bet you will enjoy your time off especially as you dont have to cook for two days though I expect you will offer to help. I have come up with an idea for a jig that should enable me to turn oval picture frames rather than having to use my router to do them. I feel confident it should work and will try making the jig in the new year when weather is warm enough,

Sister in law and brother in law visited us yesterday which pleased Mrs B. I had bought then two packs of button type batteries as the pound shop near them dont stock them. My youngest grandson missed his school trip to see the Disney film Frozen last week as his teaching assitant was ill, but the school not only refunded the money he'd paid but also bought him the DVD. I thought this was so nice of them.

I hope you have enjoyed your Sunday morning walk today and if you bought some naughty food, dont worry, it's Christmas and we all do it, especially me with my chestnuts. I am still working my way through the 5kg sack I bought at the market.

Hope you both have a peaceful day today, hugs being sent your way, Brian.

Hi everyone,

I hope Jules doesnt mind me using her thread. It's become quite a meeting place over the last few weeks.

Hope, I am so pleased you are are coping better at Christmas now but if your anything like me, you will probably have a sad moment or two just like I do. This is to be expected as Christmas is a time for family  and we cant help but remember those who are no longer with us. So I am sending kind thoughts and best wishes along with a big hug and will think of you.

Jo, I will be thinking of you and your family. You have had a tough year but you have not let things get you down and your humour has always shown through. I truely believe having a good sense of homour helps us through the dark days, I know it did me. Big hugs from me to you.

Garf, I just wanted to send seasons greeting to you and Mrs Garf and I hope you both have a great Christmas. Work seems to have been stressful for you lately so enjoy any time off you have and I hope you are not having to work much over the Festive period.

Kathy, I just wanted to say thank to you for your support during the past few months. I will be thinking of you like I will a lot of my virtual friends on here. I know this time of the year is a happy time but also has moments of sadness as we miss those who are no longer with us. So take care.

Annabel, Hope you have not been too busy of late and if you have are not too tired to enjoy Christmas with your family. Thanks for all your support during the past year. Take care, best wishe to you and your family.

Sueanne, Thank you for the friendship and support you have given to me. I just wanted to say I know like many of us, there will be sad moments of rememberance during Christmas, but I hope you have a happy fun filled time with your family and like many of us, I will be thinking of you.

Jules, it is my wish that next year will be a good year for you and all my friends who meet on your thread. Though many miles may seperate us all, I feel we all have a common bond and I do appreciate chatting to everyone. I would never have done anything like this pre-cancer. I hope you have a great time at your son's over Christmas are are able to re-charge the batteries so to speak as you have had so much to contend with over the past few months.

All. I wish you all a very happy Christmas and hope you all have time filled with love and luaghter. Thank you all for all the support and friendship you have extended to me. I will be thinking of you all, best wishes, Brian and Mrs B.