Hi Garf

Busy morning and am now just relaxing before going out this evening. Visit to Mum was much the same as usual, thanks for asking.  I really expect very little but its important for me to keep trying to interact.  Her carers/activity staff never cease trying to involve her in what is available and they have a lot going on but she is just  sitting in her seat watching the world pass her by, bless her.  Still I keep up my side of the conversation and keep her updated and am occasionally rewarded with a smile and a few words.

Hubby is still nibbling from time to time but not enjoying being 'monitored' and weight loss continues to be a concern.  His GP has warned him that this could result in hospitalisation by Christmas as his general health continues to be maintained and its really only the eating/drinking side of things that are causing him problems.  Its not easy to watch but am having to accept I am the one without control  and just make sure there are things available if and when he wants them.  Just returned from shopping (taken today by friends as they were doing a monthly shop and it has helped me 'stock up' with heavier items (at low cost outlet).

Health and Safety seems to be taking over in the most stupid of ways in a constantly increasing 'blame game' - I am wondering how we managed to get to our ages with just 'commonsense' .

Glad your sister is now the proud owner on the chest and that she found time to spend with your step-mum - those moments have to be cherished and mean a lot.  Hope you and Mrs G have a peaceful weekend and that your injury has improved sufficiently to let you enjoy some sport.  Look after yourself. Virtual hugs  Jules x

Hi Brian

We had that heavy fine drizzle too but managed to stay relatively dry under the brolly!  Very busy now at work (probably for the best) but plenty of good support  both from staff and regular customers which is lovely. Did have an argument with the escalator on Thursday which jarred my back (my own fault - should have used the lift!!) and watched where I was going ha ha but no lasting damage.

Pleased that things continue to go smoothly for your brother in law and virtual fingers crossed that it remains so and that it brings some benefit for him.

Loving the idea that Mrs B is thinking of bringing the outdoor owls inside!  Are you sure she is  not ganging up on the person squirrelling away nuts.  I was shopping on the high street after work (madness) and saw plenty of owl items which I am sure would increase her collection and had to keep my  hands in my pocket so they stayed on the shelves.  Relieved to say all gift shopping now complete and just the task of wrapping/writing cards - will try and accomplish this on Sunday.  Am amazed at how many cards already arrived and it appears people are getting ahead early this year.

That said am off to Bath tomorrow (hubby pretty insistant and think he needs a break from me!!) to the Christmas Market with my friend from work - 8.30 pick up and a full day ahead including lunch in Bradford on Avon so have camera in my bag in readiness.  Hope you and Mrsw B have a peaceful weekend and that your Cancer Meetings are helpful to all concerned.  Jules x

Hi Jules, my heart goes out to you and your hubby as you take this journey together on a path that no one would ever choose to be on. In your case, I can see both sides of the equation; one being a patient now and the other as a previous caregiver to my Dad, my brother, and a former partner. Both sides certainly have their challenges and a lot of hearache. I'm not sure, but I do recall that your husband has been fighting this disease for quite some time and is likely wearing down, as I'm sure you are. I wish I had some words of wisdom to offer, but I don't. I listened with a heavy heart as my Dad, my brother, and my former partner, begged the doctors to help them to die. Watching the suffering of my loved ones, tore the heart right out of me. I guess I didn't fully understand what they were going through then, although it was quite obvious that they were in a lot of pain, both physically and emotionally. Now, being in that position myself for 5 years now, sure gives me a better perspective on it.

I just wish there was something that could be done for all of us in this position, regardless which side of the fence we happen to be on.

Hugs to both of you Jules.

Lorraine

Hi Sueanne

Cannot begin to know how hard this time of year must be for you without your dear Tony but am sure you will feel the strength of family around you and your virtual buddies here to listen when needed. I have been keeping an eye on my dear late friend's husband as he too faces his first Christmas without her.  He has three strapping lads and they are all gathering together and he has even made three Christmas cakes (following her usual recipe/instructions which she left in place for him - she was so well organised in her last months that he has a diary to help him through the first year - such an amazing lady much missed).

Hubby gets a rest from my eat/drink reminders tomorrow as I am going out for the day with my friend from work and we are going to Bath Christmas Market (cannot tell you  how difficult it has been to  make the final decision to go but hubby is also insistant that I should and in the end feel I am doing it for him (just like everything else we manage along the way)).  Am pleased to have finished gift shopping now as the high street get increasingly busy as each day passes but may treat myself/home to new decorations if I see something 'just a bit special'.

Give yourself some tlc and I am sure Rusty will be keeping you company on these chilly days.  Sending virtual hug and peaceful thoughts.  Jules x

Hi Kathy

 ESP working well - will be contacting MP after the festive season if no word by then.  Our daughter who is also joint Power of Attorney for Mum will come along with me if the need arises so am not facing this all on my own.  Even so its an extra 'drain on the brain' which I would rather do without.  Just thankful that Mum in her  'bi-polar' state is somewhat oblivious to it all though still asks from time to time 'if she can stay put'.

Am loving the idea of camembert for breakfast due to lack of a saucepan (did you hide the latter on purpose) and there was me having healthy cereal (that lasted till lunch when I am afraid I hit the pate on toast  ha ha).

Hope you have some R&R whilst in the country and that your housesitter is looking after your garden too as am sure you will want to put your feet up in it when  you return.  Take care of yourself.  Virtual hugs  Jules x

Thanks so much Lorraine for your kind words.I am particulary touched that you should take the time to support so many on this forum when travelling such a difficult road yourself.  You're right in that no one chooses this path but once on it its a rollercoaster of emotions.

Hubby was diagnosed in February 2012 and we were given no timeline (only that he would die from it eventually) as Mesothelioma seems to be inconsistent as to longevity (so many different types of cancer with so many outcomes!). He has always been a very quiet, private man and hates being even the slightest bit dependent on others.  We have to take each day as it happens and consider ourselves fortunate that at the present time he has no pain from the cancer (medication has been at same level for nearly six months  now which is a positive).  In fact if anyting its the weight loss which is causing all the concern but you cannot force someone to eat/drink when they do not feel like it (sadly comfort eating is my problem!!).  He is thankfully managing small meals still but its not enough to help just yet and though he says he likes the nutrictional shakes rarely has more than one a day (doc would like 4! so doubt she will be pleased when we return on the 18th Dec).  We have palliative care nurse on Tuesday but as much as they give lots of helpful advice, hubby not keen to follow it though he tells them I am concerned about him almost as if I should not be men!!).

  My Dad died from prostate/secondary lung cancer some six years ago but his personality was amazing and he remained cheeky till the last week of his life when he had a quiet acceptance which made it easier for Mum as principal carer before he went into the hospice at his request.  It was a wonderful place and we still support it in his memory.

Hope  you have a peaceful weekend my virtual friend. Regards  Jules x

Thanks so much Lorraine for your kind words.I am particulary touched that you should take the time to support so many on this forum when travelling such a difficult road yourself.  You're right in that no one chooses this path but once on it its a rollercoaster of emotions.

Hubby was diagnosed in February 2012 and we were given no timeline (only that he would die from it eventually) as Mesothelioma seems to be inconsistent as to longevity (so many different types of cancer with so many outcomes!). He has always been a very quiet, private man and hates being even the slightest bit dependent on others.  We have to take each day as it happens and consider ourselves fortunate that at the present time he has no pain from the cancer (medication has been at same level for nearly six months  now which is a positive).  In fact if anyting its the weight loss which is causing all the concern but you cannot force someone to eat/drink when they do not feel like it (sadly comfort eating is my problem!!).  He is thankfully managing small meals still but its not enough to help just yet and though he says he likes the nutrictional shakes rarely has more than one a day (doc would like 4! so doubt she will be pleased when we return on the 18th Dec).  We have palliative care nurse on Tuesday but as much as they give lots of helpful advice, hubby not keen to follow it though he tells them I am concerned about him almost as if I should not be men!!).

  My Dad died from prostate/secondary lung cancer some six years ago but his personality was amazing and he remained cheeky till the last week of his life when he had a quiet acceptance which made it easier for Mum as principal carer before he went into the hospice at his request.  It was a wonderful place and we still support it in his memory.

Hope  you have a peaceful weekend my virtual friend. Regards  Jules x

Hi Jules,

just wanted to wish you a happy retail day tomorrow in Bath. Let's hope the weather isn't like having a bath! 

Sorry to read of the ongoing saga with SS and your mum. Certainly not something you need to be sorting! Good idea of Kathy's to contact your MP to try to get things moving - also a good plan to wait until after the festive season as I'm sure many offices will be starting to get into party mode over the next week or so (or am I being cynical?) 

Well, it's time for a dog walk and I think I'll surprise the pair of them (dog and partner) by tagging along! Maybe if I'm good, I'll get a treat! ;)

Look forward to reading about your trip and bargains in due course, have fun, hugs to you, Jo xx

Oh Jules I really hope that hubby's gp is wrong in saying that he could be back in hospital by Christmas.  I can't begin to imagine how difficult it must be for him to try and eat something when he can neither taste it nor feel like eating anyway.  I believe that people in this situation can come accross something that has taste and they enjoy but I am sure that he has tried just about everything by now.  My Dad would have got on very well with Brian as when he was struggling to eat he suddenly found that he liked and could taste nuts so he ate them every day.  This was strange as until then he never really liked them - rather like me.

I completely agree about how we managed using only our own common sense.  A woman had a fall at the hotel the other day and may try and sue but the fact that she was drunk, wearing high heels and was trying to walk down some steps backwards may put a small dent in her case.  I still go day to day remembering my Dad telling to just look where I'm going.:D

Hope you finally manage to get that ellusive win tonight.

Best wishes and crossed fingers to you both.

Garf xx