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Continuing the journey

jules54
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Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Morning Brian

    Hope you enjoyed your visit to the Garden Centre with Mrs B.  I love to stroll round them and there are so much more than just plants these days.  Our local one added a small tea shop this year so now I can have a sit down before the walk back too.

    Spent a while with Mum yesterday, making sure I was there in time for the 2 minute silence; its the day when my Dad's memory is at its strongest as it was a huge part of his life being a war veteran, so very poignant.  I was also able to give her the news that her sister is recovering well following her op and that she is having the district nurse twice a day to deal with the dressings (even if she would rather look after herself!!).  No news from S/S (despite chasing them up nearly two weeks ago now) so I am giving them 7 days and then will put my request in writing to see  if I get the courtesy of a reply then.  I really do not need the added stress so may have to take it higher but would rather not 'muddy the waters' if I can avoid it.

    Did your sugar levels settle down? and I hope the floaters in your eyes are not causing you too much distress as I would imagine it must be quite frustrating/difficult to do the things you love to enjoy.

    Take care of yourself and hope you and Mrs B have a good week.  Hugs Jules x

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

    Am getting more used to the new forum now, although have to say I rather preferred the old one!  The PM feature was definitely a bonus and I'm not really sure why it was all changed when it worked so well - I guess that's just me being "old fashioned".

    Don't feel wrong feeling lonely even though hubby is with you; it must be so difficult to accept how things have changed and whilst you are obviously grateful that he is with you it doesn't change the fact that you wished this disease hadn't robbed you of the way things once were. On a positive note though, I'm glad you have your family buffet lunch to look forward to soon and I'm sure this will also give hubby something to look forward to and hopefully he'll be a little more perky then. It is sad about his brother and sister-in-laws move away; I guess we have to accept that others do as they please.  Glad that you will be spending Xmas at your sons though and assume that has the added bonus that you won't have to cook?

    Good luck with the work journey. Hope xx

     

  • Offline in reply to KathyS

    Hi Kathy,

    I have just found a site that might be of help (www.southernliving.com) There is a complete guide to growing Crepe Myrtle. There are also several other sites that look like they could be of interest. Hope thid is of help.

    take care, Brian.

  • Offline in reply to KathyS

    Hi Kathy,

    I have just found a site that might be of help (www.southernliving.com) There is a complete guide to growing Crepe Myrtle. There are also several other sites that look like they could be of interest. Hope thid is of help.

    take care, Brian.

  • Offline in reply to woodworm
    Thank you Brian, will have a sticky beak. For some reason thought Jules was a gardener but must have been her posts to you and Mrs B which got me confused, easily done. Great stuff Kathy xx
  • Offline in reply to woodworm
    Thank you Brian, will have a sticky beak. For some reason thought Jules was a gardener but must have been her posts to you and Mrs B which got me confused, easily done. Great stuff Kathy xx
  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

     

    Tried to post this from work earlier but my office computer really doesn't like this new look site although that computer is older than the laptop I'm using right now.

     

    I am sorry that you are still finding it so hard to motivate hubby into doing some excercise.  I really did think that he might try and get out and about a little more with the use of the stick but it seems not.  I am also sad that you sometimes feel lonely as I know as well as anyone what it can be like to feel alone while still in the comany of others.  At least try and take solace from knowing you are never alone here!

     

    You mentioned private messaging and I'm sure you can imagine I am one of the many people who already miss it.  I hope I am wrong but I imagine it will take a while for them to get the existing site up to full working order before they even think about bringing back the pm system. 

     

    Best to you both,

     

    Garf. xx

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Julies, brian and all you great people not been here for some time got lost, but the mods got me back

      and it is nice to be back .As for me I have just had a review and had three  lots of blood taken the first one had to be done again they made a misstake in lab so my GP said and then a CT  scan next week .

     Our eldest Beverley is doing OK still on chemo but in pill form we take her out to morrow for a pun lunch

     she eats well and looks good .Regards for no .XX

  • Offline in reply to urostar

    Hi urostar,

    I was really happy to see your name come up, well done!

    It's good to have you back on board and don't hesitate at any time if you have any question about anything. 

    I will let you catch up with your friends now!
     

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Lucie

    Thanks lucie it is great to be back but it will take some time for an chap like me to find my way round the site is good looks OK but it will take time for me .I have in the past my eldest  Beverley has had a hemi colectomy she is looking great just spoke we are going out for a pub lunch tomorrow 4 of us looking forward to it we have done it every since her operation.best regards to all .george .

     

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