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Continuing the journey

jules54
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Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Offline in reply to Hope23

    Good morning Hope,

    It's great to see friends names re-appearing on here. I hope you are keeping well, and that your son is doing well at university and I think if I remember right your other son was also going to uni as well.

    Take care, sending best wishe to you and your family, Brian.

  • Offline in reply to GARF

    Hi Garf

     

    Sending happy birthday wishes to Mrs G and lovely to read that you had good family celebrations albeit not recorded for posterity.  The result of that 'camera glitch' will lead to more memorable conversations no doubt!!

    I am busy trying to plan family get-together 'lunch or dinner' before the Christmas season hits (very busy at work and I  already have plans for the weekends in December!  Not sure where the end of year is running to but I am trying to keep up ha ha.

     

    Look after yourself , sending virtual hugs and good wishes for a peaceful week ahead. Jules x

  • Offline in reply to Annabel

    Hello Annabel Your Chessie looks very beautiful how old is she ,I have a gorgeous greyhound called Rusty he came to live with us when he was 2 he is now 10 he is my best friend and since loosing my Tony last year my companion and my rock .I bought him a winter coat and a rain coat he has always had coats as he has no body fat to keep him warm in winter Im sure you will find one to fit Chester on line wher they show how to measure him properly ,Rusty and I did manage a nice dry walk early this morning but its raining again her in Cornwall and 12degs  glad you managed to find your way back to the forum like you say we should soon get used to it it realy is a godsend to have somewhere to come and know you will be supported and that we are all in the same boat one way or another ..Take care Annabel   Sueanne xx

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,  Thanks for advice re. accessing thread via activity, it was much quicker.  Hope all is good with you and that hubby continues to be stable; guess it is good that he still enjoys his Friday social and like you say he is better if you carry on your usual routine.  I had a nice hol albeit the weather was not good.  Now back to usual routine and am about to go off to work so this is just a quick message.  Hope they do get PM going again!  Take care.  Hope x

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Morning Brian,

    Lovely to hear from you and trust you and Mrs B are keeping well.  I am OK and now trying to reflect on how far I've come in a year.  Sons are both doing great in their studies and yes, youngest is applying to Uni for next year, so more changes in my life!  Take care and hope to speak again soon.  Hope x

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Good morning Jules,

    Hope you have got the repairs completed and the water did not cause any damege. You have had more than you share of water problems recently. At least you should be able to visit your mother in the dry this morning. Have you heard from S/S  as yet?

    I have a busy week this week. A cancer meeting on Wednesday afternoon, and wood club meeting in the evening, Thusrday another cancer meeting, Friday night seeting up my stand for our craft fair On Saturday. So have eaten plenty of nuts to keep stamina up!!!!!

    Must fly as am taking Mrs B to our local garden centre. Sending best wishes your way, Hugs, Brian

     

  • Offline in reply to woodworm
    Hi Brian, if I may ask you a question please. How would crepe myrtle grow over there? Can you ask Mrs B for me if you don't know. Thanks Kathy x
  • Offline in reply to KathyS

    Hi Kathy,

    That is a question I did not know the answer too and niether did Mrs B so I looked it up on Wickopedia. There are many differnt varieties but it would seem it is better grown in warmer climates. They do mention some growing in the south of France. I think the answer would be if it were in a warm sheltered spot it might possibly grow In England but it is rather risky as its not considered winter hardy. Hope this helps.

    Please take care, best wishes, Brian.

  • Offline in reply to woodworm
    Thank you Brian, mum who is 88 and lives in Scotland wants to plant one in memory of my hubby, might be a bit of a challenge for her, maybe we could bonsai it and stick it in a greenhouse.... Kathy x
  • Offline in reply to Hope23

    Morning Hope

    What a shame that you had bad weather for your half term hols but I am sure you still enjoyed family time and relaxation. No doubt you are now firmly back in the swing of things at work in readiness for Christmas term.

    We had a quiet weekend as hubby continues to sleep a great deeal though he is insisting (now iratably) that he is feeling ok, just tired.  To be honest it feels so wrong to feel lonely even though he is with me in the room.  Any conversation is short lived, unless it is in his dream state and I so wish I could stop the feeling of frustration it brings for us both.

    On the plus side I have got both children and families plus his sister coming for a buffet lunch get-together in a couple of weeks.  His brother and sister in law are now at signed contracts stage of their property sale so expect we may be hearing soon when  the move to Isle of Man will go ahead  (it will be a year this Christmas Eve when they intially broke the news of the move) and am not sure how this will effect hubby's Christmas this year as it will be the first in many years where the family has not spent it together.We are happy to be spending Christmas at our sons along with his partner's parents and sister andwe all get on well.

    I am sure there are many forum users who are missing private messaging so do hope they find a way to re-introduce it as I am aware of the extra support given through this means.  Its still good to see forum friends slowly finding their way round the new format and hope new users will still find it a good place for support.

    Well, was up early (hubby's chatting in his sleep was loud enough to break through my ear plugs ha ha) and now it would appear there are problems on the tube line I use so may well  have to leave early to make the way to work by bus. Hope this note finds you and the family keeping well. Hugs Jules x

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