Morning Brian

Do hope you feeling better today following your 'diabetic turn' yesterday and are taking it easy.  Sounds like you 'nipped it in the bud' knowing exactly the right things to do and will no doubt mention it at your next check up.  Am sure Mrs B will keep an eye on you (as you do her) and bet she is thrilled to bits with her new owl cruet.

Well, I had the most beautiful day out with my friend yesterday. We were in Oxford by 9.45 (via the comfort of the 'Oxford Tube' coach service), strolled the streets before morning coffee and admired the wonderful buildings, visited the botanic gardens, had soft drinks by the river (courtesy of the pub garden). The weather was amazing and we gave shops a wide berth (can do that anytime!).  In the afternoon my friend 'settled her birthday gift IOU' and we had High Afternoon Tea at the Grand Cafe before hopping back on the coach.  I was home by 5.15 and have some memorable photos of the day and welcomed time to 'switch off' and relax.  We have promised ourselves another trip out before Christmas.

Hubby had said he did not mind me going but made it known as soon as I got back that he had not felt like eating so despite me leaving things ready prepared he just had, as he put it, a  few chocolates and a couple of biscuits.  I busied myself and got him a drink and prepared his meal (he chose what he wanted) but he managed only a few mouthfuls before setting it aside.  He says he wishes he felt like eating but nothings tastes right and he does not know why he is not 'trying'.  The rest of the evening he virtually ignored me (still has not asked about my day out and I feel like a guilty child, having enjoyed myself).  There appears nothing I can do to help and he is still saying that he is not 'suffering from pain' (though I always now feel wrong for asking and wonder if he would prefer it if I did not care/ask but I am trying to understand as best I can in the circumstances.) Community nurse is due in on Thursday so hope hubby will be open with her (GP definitely concerned enough to arrange this visit and I think perhaps they are hoping to 'draw him out of himself' but I think they will find it very hard).  This journey has many twists and turns and I am trying so hard to take decisions on a day to day (sometimes hour to hour) basis.

Today I visit my Mum and hope she will feel more settled as I can tell her that the Powers of Attorney have been registered and when she feels unable to 'make her own decisions' these can be implemented.  My head is back in 'stressing' mode as I know we have to look into her care position very soon and that we have to refer the situation back to social services but am to contact a friend before I move on this (he has first hand knowledge of the system and his guidance will be welcome).

So today is also the last day of my annual leave (although its my usual day off anyway) and tomorrow I go back to work with a heavy heart (hubby will be glad to see the back of the 'food nag' and I will have to begin 'working alone' on the department).  On the up side the garden is neat and tidy and the only thing to keep an eye on is the 'mowing' for, as you say, the great weather appears to be causing 'quick growth' and I have been cutting the lawn twice a week (I suppose you could class this as exercise!!)

Well, have 'jabbered enough' and must get to the 'hoovering'.

Take care of  yourself and all the very best to you and Mrs B.  Jules x

Hi Jules

Have just been catching up and cannot believe how long it has beens ince I last posted.  Times seems to fly by at present.  Alice is back to uni this weekend and have been helping get her organised.  Two car loads have already gone but house still looks like a bomb site.  Am quite looking forward to cleaning and tidying after she has gone.  Will really miss her but will not miss the way she leaves chaos in her wake.

Am sorry to read that hubby seems to be withdrawing into himself even more.  I can understand how he hates what the disease has done to him but am sure he would enjoy days out if only he would accept some help. As you say he might open up to the Commuinity Nurse.  I really wish i could make some helpful suggestions but I just do not know.  Hopefully they can make some changes to his meds so he is awake more than he is asleep.  This might help improve his appetite.

Am sorry I missed your birthday and anniversary but was pleased that you got a ring and that hubby was with you when you chose it.  He might not have had any input but just the fact that he was there was nice.

Hope work is not too bad now that you are on your own.  Hopefully there will be plenty of customers to talk to.  My job situation has been sorted.  Got an offer from a firm I worked for previously and got a new offer from my present firm.  With a  few changes they have promised to make have decided to stay as travelling with the other offer could have been a problem.  So many people are leaving at present that I think they will do almost anything to hang on to good staff.

Love and virtual hugs.

Gill

Hi Gill

Its good that you have been kept busy (I think!) and you know the way the forum works with people coming and going as and when necessary.  I sometimes find it amazing that I am still 'hanging on' to vitual life but its still of great help in the scheme of things.   Pleased that you have your work situation sorted which must be a relief and 'better the devil you know' sometimes.  Extra travelling would always put me off as it makes the working day so much longer.

Can almost hear that sigh of relief (from the chaos) as Alice returns to Uni.  Expect she will be pleased to be going back and catching up with her mates there.  My son still keeps in touch with his housemates and they meet up from time to time despite coming from all different parts of the country (and having settled into relationships/jobs) -  Uni seems a long time ago (he will be 30 next year and now works at a University rather than studying there).

Hubby had  a 'double whammy' of nurses yesterday.  His specialist community nurse called first (I was at work and their conversation remains private!) and then the district nurses called round to check on his pressure spots, which thankfully have healed nicely (of course, had he mentioned the problem I could have got it sorted for him but hey ho) and they will pop around to keep checking!!  Every day is different for us both and it may have taken me a long time but I have accepted that he just wants to keep doing it his way.  I know he needs help if he wants to go out more but he has to be the one to accept that.  At the moment he is still able to drive short distances and took me to our local Argos yesterday (I needed to pick up new shopping trolley as the wheels on my old one 'gave up') and he waited in the car whilst I shopped.  Today I have been able to go to the launderette (and soon to do shopping) without having a permanent squeak (and the wheels suddenly falling off) behind me.

Anyway, good to hear from you and hope you are continuing to keep well.  Take care  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Glad you liked the quotes. So pleased you had a great day out in Oxford but sorry to hear hubby didn't ask if you enjoyed yourself. I'm sorry, we men can appear insensitive at times. I did a similar thing when my wife had her hair cut recently and didn't mention it looked nice so I was in the doghouse for a few hours.

Although I drove through Oxford once many years ago, I have never visited there.

I have another cancer meeting tomorow so I will be able to get some chips on my way home Not good for my weight loss but I have been very good recently, at least that's my story.

I notice it wont be long before you have been on here two years,and during this time you have helped and supported so many people, including me so thank you for that. I like everyone am looking forward to the new look forum but I hope it still has this friendly atmosphere we have at the moment. I feel sure it will be okay for it is after all the people who visit the site that create that atmosphere with help from the wonderful moderators.

Yesterday I was given some piece's of Holly and some Mulberry. These are lovely timbers to work. Holly is pure white and can sometime look like a white marble when finished properly while Mulberry is a yellowy/ brown colour so am looking forward to turning something special out of them. Our lawn mower is not cutting as good as it was so will have to take the blade off and sharpen it again over the next few days. At least I don't have to send it away for sharpening.

We had a very good meeting at our wood club on Wednesday and it was good to meet up with our members again.

Well I have rambled on for long enough. I wish you and hubby a very peaceful and relaxing weekend, take care, Brian.

Morning Brian

Sounds like you will have a great time 'turning' your newly acquired Holly and Mulberry wood into new pieces.  Not sure how large the pieces are but I am sure the 'white Holly' would make great 'snowball' t-light holders or a 'snowy owl' for your wife (just a thought).

Have plenty of photos to remind me of my day out in Oxford (felt like a 'holiday in a day') which I will show my daughter later when I go round to childmind.  She and her husband are going to watch them record an episode of The Cube and depending on the time may fit in dinner too.  Hubby managed to get out with his mate last night after spending most of the day asleep and is now asleep again having had breakfast.  The nurses are looking into a change of medication to see if he can 'stay awake' more(though fatigue is a major side effect of Mesothelioma) and he is back at GP next Thursday so he is definitely been 'well looked after' by NHS.

Hope your cancer meeting proves interesting and you continue to give so much back following your own treatment for the disease.  I am sure they must welcome your imput from a first hand viewpoint.  Did you have and thoroughly enjoy your 'chips treat'.  A little spot of Brianitus will not do any harm I'm sure to your recent 'healthier spell/weight loss'.

Our daughter is holding a coffee morning for MacMillan on the 26th and as its a Friday I will be able to go along in support (and entertain little Zack if needs be).  Lots of the mums from school will drop by as well as neighbours and other friends so hoping to raise a good amount.

Am really enjoying our late 'summer' weather.  Hope you and Mrs B are keeping okay and thank you for your kind words. Its hard to believe its been nearly two years since I j oined the forum and you were among the first to welcome me 'aboard'. Its also good to be able to offer others the level of welcome/support I have received and hope with the forthcoming launch of the 'new look' website others will be able to draw strength during their own personal journies.  Take care virtual buddy.  Jules x

Hello Jules,

You suggestion for the Holly has given me an idea. I will turn a snowy owl but as my son has recently bought a pyrography tool I will ask him to burn the black markings on it. I am sure if we have both done work on it Mrs B will appreciate it even more. Thanks for the suggestions, you certainly have very good ideas several of which I have put to good use so thanks again. It was my 71st birthday on Monday so as my son didn't know what to buy me, he has got me a ticket to a large local wood fair which is on the 28th of this month. I always used to exhibit there for about 14 years but they have put up the addmission to £14 for adults. He found a place where he got tickets for half price.  As I was the only one on my stall, I never really got to have a good look around only being able to do it early in the morning when a lot of the tents and stall weren't open so will look forward to this. He has told me if I find a tool or book I want to let him know and he will buy it for

me.

I have just cut our hedge, including our new neighbours side so will not be doing any turning today. Will have to take a trip to the dump to get rid of the trimmings. Our cancer meeting was very good and we achieved quite a lot in the two hours. You are so lucky to have such a good team looking after your hubby. Hope they are able to help him in some way as it also affects you. That is the trouble with this disease, it really does have a major impact on the whole of the family. Brother in law should be starting chemo next Monday so hope he will not suffer badly from side effects.

Take care Jules, sending best wishes to you and your hubby, hugs, Brian

Hello Brian long time since our last chat  I hope brother in law gets on alright with treatment and has no side effects .I have had a look around from time to time and noticed your beautiful woodwork the owls are lovely they look very polished too ..Jules says you were one of the first people to chat to her when she joined the forum .I must say You and Jules picked up my thread and helped me through my very darkest  days ..My Rusty and I go for our lovely walks first thing around 7 30 and again 5 30 the weather has been beautiful in Cornwall it is still 24 degsbut no sunshine I have had a lovely cuddle with little James who will be 5 months old on 24 Sept how time flys he is so contented just like his darling grandad who would love him as much as I do .My Tony has been gone for 19 months and I miss him so much life is long and hard without him grief is a terrible emotion to feel I am totaly lost ,thank god for my lovely family although they dont know I cry every day and think I am ok ,my lovely Rusty and Button the cat keep me busy and company though so I should pull my self together  ..Sorry for the moan Brian and I hope you and Mrs B have been enjoying the lovely weather what a lovely Sept we have had ,take care Brian .....Susananne ...   PS belated Happy Birthday Brian did you get 71 bumps ...

A belated happy birthday Brian - you m anaged to keep that very quiet.  Hope you had a lovely day and the gift from your son sounds right up your street and bet you are looking forward to it.  I still have a day out shopping and  lunch with our daughter and son;s girlfriend to look foward to (in mid October) as part of my birthday gift and think I may try and pop to a garden centre too as would be nice to have some colour in the house for the winter months.

As regards coming up with ideas for your 'wood'  hope it was not too cheeky - think I was born to have ideas as have no practical skills at all.

Hope your wife's brother copes well with the chemo but know he will have plenty of loving support which will mean a lot.  Will be thinking of you all next week and hope treatment begins on time.

I am about to begin talking about Mum's care situation again (with social services) as she will need to be re-assessed before they decide where she should live. If it's back into the community she will be very unhappy but unfortunately her savings cannot keep her where she is much longer.  Seems sad that at 88 she has to go through this but we will do out best (my stress levels could well be rising along with my  blood pressure but it has to be sorted one way or the other).

Hope  you and Mrs B have a good weekend ahead .  Take care,  Jules x

Hi Susananne,

Thanks for the reply. I enjoy turning as all of what I do comes out of timber from hardwood pallets or timber people  are throwing out. I am glad you have Rusty for animal are such good company and seem to have the ability to understand our moods. Plus grandchildren have this way of lifting our spirits. Getting a hug, cuddle or a kiss from our grandchildren means so much. You have so many lovely memories of Tony but I do understand how much you miss him. It must be almost like a part of you is missing. I am sorry that you are still crying everyday and I can understand you hiding it from your family. Susananne, you have no need to apologise for the moan, far better to let your forum buddies know how your feeling rather than bottling it up.Please take care, sending best wishes and a virtual hug, Brian.