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Continuing the journey

jules54
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Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Offline in reply to SleepyCat

    Hi Gill

    Glad all went well with work.  You must be very pleased to be able to return in this phased way and bet you are enjoying it too.  Hope the sewing is coming on in between times.My day at work today was busy but feeling a little calmer in myself having got through the last couple of days (and come out the other side with all the wonderful support).  Did my shopping, came home and got lunch and then 'lost 2hrs' sleeping whilst listening to music through the laptop (headphones well and truly plugged in!!).  Hubby has just woken from his latest doze and having taken his medication will let me know what he wants and when he wants dinner.  Will now look foward to my evening out with my daughter and maybe (time depending) when we come home we will begin the form filling process.  Thanks for chatting, as always much appreciated.  Regards and hugs  Jules x

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

    I started to send you a private message today but work has been so completely mad I never got past the first paragraph.  I will explain all assuming I manage to write it properly tomorrow.

    I just wanted to say I am glad the meeting regarding your Mum's future went as well as it did and I also have to say that moving her into some kind of sheltered accomodation seems like it would have been a terrible idea so thumbs up to her doctor for that.  Also glad you are now back in the land of hot, running water.  Nothing like a hot bath after a very tough day is there even if it did cost you the price of a decent holiday to get it?

    Take care Jules and I will write soon.

    Garf. xx

  • Offline in reply to GARF

    Thanks Garf appreciated hearing from you as always.  Seems you really caught up in a storm at work. Remember the 'count to 100 rule' and imagine whoever is causing you grief is inside your little white ball next time you hitting down the fairway. Take care.Jules x

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

    Glad to hear you are coping better now for we were all feeling concerned for you. Its not surprising you felt like you did with everything happening all in a short space of time. It is good that your daughter was able to come with you for support and that she is coming with you on Friday. It is surprising how being without hot water throws our normal routine out of kilter. 

    Granddaughter was given an award for the voluntary work she does on Monday and as her parents had to take youngest one to hospital for check up I was asked to go with her. There were loads of young people there being given awards which was nice to see and as these young people are our future I was quite proud of all of them.

    Trying to make my mind up, Mrs B wants me to cut the hedge but I want to do some woodturning. I strongly suspect Mrs B will get her way as usual. Next Wednesday our wood club have an all day event where we will be both demonstrating and exhibiting as part of our town day so want to get a few more things ready for this.

    Take care Jules, Just remember you have a lot of friends on here who will do what we can to help when stress levels rise.

    Take care, best wishes to you, hubby and family, Brian.

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Hi Brian

    Thanks for your supportive words.  Really grateful to have the forum to turn to when coping becomes a bit of a chore but there are so many here and its good to support others too.  It is funny how its the everyday 'mishaps' that are harder to cope with but as they say onwards and upwards and in my head I have to tell myself to stop trying to control the uncontrollable and make the most of what I have.

    Lovely to be able to be at your grandaughter's award ceremony and can imagine how proud you must feel.  Hope your young grandsons check up at the hospital went okay too. Do you have any updated news on your Dad and brother in law?

    If you have a 'wood event' coming  up does that mean that Mrs B will have to part with the 'handsome owl family'?  May be the garden today and the woodturning tomorrow so she will still feed you.  I need to mow our lawn but after moving lots of books around today think it may have to wait till next dry day (forecast looks a bit mixed for the next few days) otherwise I will be fit for nothing.  Wishing you and Mrs B a good weekend ahead.  Hugs from Jules (hopefully your 'nut supplier' is keeping  your energy levels up)

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

    Thanks for the reply and asking about my dad and brother in law. No more news on dad as yet; my sister and I usually makes contact at weekends so may know more then. But poor brother in law has had his operation which was scheduled for Monday postponed again. This is the third time and sister in law is very stressed as a result, the new date is not until the 28th of June. one of her friends has advised her to contact PALS which she is considering. Until he had had his hip replacement he cant start radiotherapy so can well understand their frustration. This is just serving to make me realize how lucky I was with my treatment as I had no problems whatsoever.

    Mrs B did win and the hedge is now looking a lot better which is more than can be said for me. After that hard work, Brianitus has struck again and am sitting here with a bag of peanuts and also a bag of crisps. Not doing anything for my waistline but boy I am enjoying them

    Take care Jules, talk again soon best wishes to you and family, Brian.

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules

    Glad things re a litle calmer.  Sometimes when we are really busy at work it helps our subconcious process things wittout our really noticing and we can feel better.  After hefting loads of books around I am not surpised you lost 2 hours by sleeping.  Speaking to Alice last night she admitted that after vounteering for the day she got back to her flat with loads of plans and woke up about an hour later!  Not just us oldies that do this.

    Sewing is going ok but have a bit more research to do before I can try and get my fundraising idea of the ground (yes it does involve me sewing).  Had hoped it would be up an running by now but the research got more involved than I expected.  Does not help that Jess tries to assist by sitting in the middle of things including trying to help me type.  Thankfully she is fast asleep having just eaten. 

    Enjoy your evenings out.  You deserve a little time off for good behaviour.

    Best wishes.

    Gill

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Hi Brian

    Not suprised Mrs B won.  That said the nuts are well deserved.

    Hope you get the woodturning ready in time for next event.  I am sure Mrs B will be sorry if she is to lose her owl family but perhaps it will lave a space that you can fill up again.

    It must be awful for your brother in law to have his operation cancelled again.  Once you can perhaps understand but twice is a bit much.  I would certainly want a full explanation as to why.

    Hope the news of your Dad is good at the weekend when you manage to speak to your sister.  It is never easy with the time differences as it means one of you has a very late night or early morning.

    Great news about your granddaughter and her award.  You must be one proud grandparent.

    Best wishes.

    Gill

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

    Hope you are OK, I think us women always want to be in control and like you say, sometimes there are things we sometimes can't control and that is hard for us "controllers". Anyway you know that your forum buddies are always here for you.  I hope you have a nice weekend and I've sent you a PM.  Hope x

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Hi Brian,


    I know Jules won't mind me messaging you on her thread.  Just wanted to say I hope you and Mrs B are OK, I was so sorry to read that your brother-in-law has continually had his operation cancelled, it really is unacceptable and I'm sure is causing a lot of worry.  I hope you get something sorted.  Thanks for asking after me on a recent post, I am fine. I have sold my parent's house now, and although sad it has given me the closure I needed. Wishing you a peaceful weekend and chat soon.  Hope x

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