Hi Jules

So good to hear from from.

I am glad that you nad hubby enjoyed with time with Zack.   No doubt your arms are getting stronger each time you see him.

I have to say I think your Sister in Law needs a good kick up the bum for her behaviour.  I would call to let someone know if I was only going to be a few minutes late let alone hours late.  Perhaps it is a good thing that she is moving to the Isle of Man so this is not likely to happen again.  She may well be in denial about her brother's illness but her whole attitude seems to be very selfish and all about her.  Perhaps should could spare some time to consider what you and hubby and her brother are going through.

So sorry to hear about your Mum's attitude to her party although perhaps not entirely unexpected give her earlier remarks.  At least your mum has given permission for you to speak to her doctor so you can discuss in detail.  It may make their lives easier if you have a Power of Attorney although obviously it has to be something your mum is ok with.  It must have been so hard to try and deal with this just before your friend's funeral.  I cannot iamgine that it is going to get any easier in the future if you do have Power of Atorney.  Good luck with this.

I am so glad your friend's funeral went well.  It does seem odd that there were no hymns but having said that I am sure at sme funerals people pick hymns because they remember them from childhood not because they have any real meaning to the family or deceased.  At least your friend chose the music that she wanted and would have meant something to her and her family.  Good on her.

Very best wishes and just take your time now to process all the emotions of the past week or so.

Gill

Thanks Hope, supportive words mean a lot as you well know.  Am trying to 'compartmentalize' so many different thoughts/plans/ideas but at the end of the day there is only one me and I can only do so much.  I am extremely lucky to have supportive kids and my daughter is coming with me when we chat to Mum's team and my son in law will help with paperwork if I get too bogged down.  My hubby is visiting son's place of work on Friday all being well (being shown round by the top researcher who he works for and I think all concerned are pretty 'made up'.  Apparently coffee break is planned and hope it will help to 'perk' him up a little before facing his next appointment on Tuesday.  Pretty sure discomfort has increased somewhat as he is sleeping more and relying on extra top ups of pain relief, all without complaint bless him.  Will PM you soon but in the meantime sending hugs and kind thoughts.  Look after yourself and hope the boys exams are going ok.  Jules x

Thanks Gill for your continued support and was pleased to read that you have come through your recent treatment ok and hope you continue to pace yourself (no overdoing it now) so that you can achieve your planned return to work at the beginning of next month.  Beginning to wonder myself where this half year has gone!!  My workmates have been very supportive (always find time to ask how things are going and not putting too much pressure on me) and in a way its good to be able to switch off (for the most part) and be 'normal' at work.

Baby Zack certainly replaces the 'sugar bags' to help fix the upper arms (and no gym fees either!!)   He is a real  charmer and certainly cannot be down too long around him. Lifting books around at work already helping with that area too!! Daughter is currently in training for the Race for Life and was happy to report that she can get back into most of her clothes now as she is doing around 10K running/jogging on top of all the usual school run walks.  The event she takes part in is on Father's Day so think it will be pretty emotional for her but they are running in general for a young  Mum who lost her battle with cancer last year and who has children in the Infants.   There are so many people worse off than me that I prefer not to linger in the doldrums for too long (no point dwelling of things I have no control over) so fingers crossed for a more uplifting weekend ahead (not working Bank Holiday is a good start).  Take care of yourself and sending hugs.Jules x

Dear Jules,

Thanks for the latest update. I'm only sorry that so much of your week gave cause for sadness.

Your friend's funeral sounded beautiful and how poignant that it fell on her 36th wedding anniversary. The words you finished your post with are certainly worth remembering.

I'm sorry to read about your mum, but it was lovely to read about your hubby's healing words of support when you needed them.

Baby Zack's visit sounded wonderful. A two hour walk, a picnic! and a takeaway.  Very nice too! Nothing more than you deserve though, Jules.

Apologies for disjointed reply - not long in from staff meeting and running on 'low fuel!'

Promise to do better next time!

Take care and hope your sleep pattern improves soon.

Hugs to you, Jo xxx

Many thanks Jo. Have replied on your own thread too. Your school kids must love your sense of humour which I am sure is what keeps you going even when you are flagging.  Jules xx

Ah Jules what a tough week you have had. Hope things settle down again enough for you to enjoy a relaxing weekend.

Sending you lots of love

Lisa xX

Am so sorry to see all that you have endured over the past few weeks Jules. My love and thoughts are with you x

Lisa, George and Max

Just to say many thanks for your kind words.  The support of my virtual buddies means so much and it always feels better to have 'got it out'.

  It's really now trying to prioritise and hubby has and will always be my first concern. Though I still find it distressing that I have to second guess his feelings about so much these days I have accepted that this is the 'fault' of the illness/drugs and not of my man.  He spends his days sitting watching tv or sleeping and when he is awake just looks so miserable it could break your heart but, and its a big but, he wants me to carry on as normal and this I  must try to do as I do not want to fail him. Am really hoping that his visit to our sons workplace on Friday gives him a lift (just like his days fishing a few weeks ago).  When he goes out and does 'normal' (like his Friday night beer with his friend) I still see a glimpse of my real hubby so long may these times continue.

As you can imagine the death of my friend had emotions at boiling point which had a knock on effect when trying to take in the added concerns regarding Mum but hoping that my one day at a time logic will kick in and  with my kids' support (and giving the forum the occassional ear bashing) I can draw enough strength to see us all through the problems that are part of life.

Hope you are all doing okay at present and wish you all a good weekend ahead.  Hugs  to all  Jules x

Hi Jules,

So sorry I have not responded sooner. I spent most of yesterday woodturning and last night was my usual visit to see my grandchildren. When I got home, I feel asleep on the settee. I can tell I am still tired from the amount of typos I am having to correct.

But enough about me. I am really feeling for you at the moment, what with the loss of your dear friend, your mother and the constant worry about your husband all combining to cause you distress. Your husband is a lucky man to have you looking after him Jules, and I feel absolutely sure you will never fail him. I am pleased that you have a very supportive family who understand the many problems you have. Please feel free to come on here and offload anytime Jules and we will be happy to respond. You have been so supportive of so many people including me since you have joined, it's our turn to support you now.

Take care Jules, Just take it one day at a time as you say.

sending best wishes and kind thoughts your way, Brian.