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Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Morning Gill

    I too hope you have seen the last of the hospital ward and that your recovery continues to go well now.  Pacing and pampering yourself will, I am sure, help you to acheive your phased return to work.

    Doc was happy that Mum had not done any damage and she has just made sure it has been logged in her notes.  Just goes to show what she can manage when she wants too as she had walked quite a way with her zimmer before the tumble whereas normally she only goes a little way (and is supposed to ring her personal buzzer when she wants to move around because she is 'frail with mobility issues').

    We enjoyed  a few hours with our daughter and Zack.  He is now sitting well on his own and loves to be thrown up in the air (my arms can feel it though this morning!!).  He had his half hour nap after lunch and sat on hubby's lap being tickled so good time had by all.  We are having him for a few hours on Sunday as the eldest grandson and a school friend are going to the banger racing again and its not really of interest to a baby who still has pretty set meal/nap routines!!  As the weather forecast is currently looking better for the week ahead I shall be happy walking a pushchair around the park/lido and have an excuse to feed the ducks!!(and hubby gets a chance to nap).

    I am aware that hubby's back is giving him gip but as usual he is pretty tight- lipped though his facial expressions/movement gives the game away!   Two weeks to his next consultant's check up but he is currently loking forward to a guided tour around our son's place of work at the end of next week.

    Have a good week.Hugs Jules x

  • Morning Brian

    Loving the new family of owl siblings - the pleasure you have with wood shows through in the results of your work.  Am sorry you have not yet managed a chat with your Dad.  My Mum has a mobile but never wants to use it and so its off more than its on!!   Good day here yesterday with a visit from our daughter and baby Zack lifting everyone's spirits.  Now I have just seen the time and need to get things ready for hubby before leaving for work and just when the sun is showing its face - lovely!!  Have a restful day and will chat again soon.  Hugs to you and MrsB. Jules x

  • Hi Jules

    Am glad to say I am currently fine.  Visited the office earlier today to discuss my return (and collect my easter egg).  We have agreed that I will do 3 or 4 hours a couple of mornings a week and graduall build from their.  Also to begin with I shall be more admin based than normal  until I am back up to speed and able to take calls and have some idea of what I am talking about.  It is totally up to me how many hours I do and how many mornings.  Boss has said he will be in regular contact with hubby to make sure I do not do too much.  Have pointed out that as hubby is currently working nights contact will be limited to after 3pm when hubby gets up to 6pm when the boss finishes.

    Glad to hear your mum has done no damage to herself although I think the staff might keep more of an eye on her knowing what she was up to!  No doubt she will not be happy but hopefully it should keep her relatively safe.

    Glad to hear that daughter and Zack visited and that a good time was had by all.  I cam imagine how your arms feel.  If you do not do something everyday it can really take its toll.

    I do hope hubby's back does not get any worse and hopefully when he has his next check up the consultant might be able to suggest something (other than upping his painkillers) which might help ease the problem.  Mind you having spent an awful lot of time sitting in one place on the couch over the last few months I have noticed that my lower back does begin to ache after a relatively short time now and I have to get up and exercise it.  Might not be an option for hubby though.

    Enjoye the sunshine even if you are at work.

    Best wishes.

    Gill

  • Hi Brian

    Love the new owl family.  It is surprising how quickly they have multiplied.

    So sorry to hear you have not been able to speak to your dad.  It must be very frustating satying up so late and then not getting a reply.  I do hope you get to speak to him soon.

    Enojy the sunshine and glad to hear you have nuts.

    Gill

  • Hello everyone

    Glad you are all enjoying the sunshine. I have started lunchtime "brisk walks"! again with my friend. Felt quite pleased with myself. And I slipped out the office just before 5 to visit a local garden that our boys from work are landscaping for the Love Your Garden tv show. Was quite an eye opener watching the filming and have to say that Mr T works very hard, like one of the boys and a real perfectionist. They are building 8 in total, very exciting for all involved. The one I saw today was really lovely. I felt horribly in the way tho and lazy so I didnt stay too long!

    As usual I am sidetracking because I really popped in to say Brian I really love those owls! They are fab. The housemartins have finally returned here, strong little things, all the way from Africa. I have put some pots of mud out for them to help them build their nests. I love the way you can hear them twittering up above on a nice evening.

    Gill, sounds like a good plan re the phasing back to work. You can take it at your own pace which is lovely and it shows they really value you too.

    Love to all

    Lisa xX

  • Hi Lisa

    I love to walk (just as well as I dont drive) and with the weekend looking very good weatherwise once the garden is mowed I am hopeful of taking Zack to the park on Sunday (elder grandson going to the banger racing again with school mate) and also to see the farm animals at our local market.  We have hubby's sister coming for dinner on Saturday and Mum's birthday on Monday with a final farewell to my late friend on Tuesday so a busy few days.

    Hope you and Paul and Joe are all okay (still try to follow you on the other thread) and enjoying some of the 'retro fun' - what next - clothes and haircuts to match.

    Like you am enjoying the 'owl family' that Brian has added to my thread.  We are lucky to have many goldfinches currently using our bird feeding station (but am equally not so blessed with lots of slugs and snails trying to win the battle with our dahlias which are just sprouting so could do with your hedgehogs taking a holiday!!) (Have been out this morning to pop 'protectors' over the top of  new shoots!!).

    Well off to work soon so had best get on with a bit of housework  before I leave.  Take care  and sending hugs  Jules x

  • Hi Lisa

    The phased return is great but given what I will be doing when I first get back I am not so sure.  One of the Solicitors is an older guy and whilst he is great fun he has no clue about organisation in the slightest.  He and his secretary manage to sort things out between them with the exception of putting deeds in to storage and closing files.  From what I have seen he has not closed many since he joined the firm!  They were going to ask someone else to do this task until they realised that the person they had in mind would not know an original document if it hit them in the face and consequently I got the job.  At least it does mean that if I feel really tired one day and decide to go home it will not matter if things have to wait a day or more to be done.

    Will look forward to the new series of Love Your Garden so I can see the local one although I know the good work your guys do anyway.

    Do you think your hedgehogs would like  holiday with Jules?  Sounds as though she could do with them.

    Gill

  • Hi Jules

    So glad all is well at present and it certainly sounds as though you will have a busy few days.  Hope your Mum will be pleased with her present and that she gets the cake.  Whilst she might not appear grateful at the time I am sure she is but from what you have said in the past she probably would not show it if she was.

    Hope the funeral goes well and whilst it will be a sad occassion I hope it is not too difficult for you or her family.

    Hope hubby is continuing to do ok and that his back is not causing him too much pain.

    Gill

  • Good morning Jules,

    Didn't get on here much yesterday as we had shopping first thing, them Mrs B had her diabetic check up at the doctores. Then in the afternoon, I took Mrs B out for a drive as I needed to get a large chuck key for my lathe. I was given a large chuck a couple of years ago but it didn't have the key with it and I have just found a place where they had one but it was an hours drive to get there. Will now be able to produce the owls eyes much quicker and more accurately.We both enjoyed the drive.

    Our wood club talk was by a lady who does pryrography. Aboslutely beautiful work and was a very good talk too considering she was rather nervouse about it as she had not given a talk before. She spends 120 hours on a single picture but the wildlife scenes she does stand out in 3D.

    Hope you have an enjoyable weekend and that hubby does not get too tired. Will be thinking of you on Tuesday. I imagine this will be an emotional day for you and will bring back many fond memories. I hope Mums birthday goes well too. It sounds as if you have a busy time ahead of you you so suggest you start taking the pills now

    Take care Jules, best wishes to you and your family, Brian.

  • Hi Lisa,

    Thanks for your kind words about the owls. Just have to find a way to blacken the beaks a bit better. I have plans to expand the range as soon as possible.

    I love it that you have put some pots of mud out for the House Martins. When I was young (and that's a long time ago ) we used to have them building nest every year and love to see them. But have not see then nesting for many years now.

    Have a great weekend Brian.