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Continuing the journey

jules54
Offline

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Offline in reply to urostar

    Hi George,

    Thanks for the update and for sharing your good news with us. I hope Ria is still taking you for lots of walkies.Are you still taking lots of photos? I have one of an owl I took last year. Tke care and keep the good news coming George. Regards Brian

        

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  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules, Gill, Hope and Susananne,

    I am really busy this week getting ready for our three day wood club exhibition which starts on Saturday. I am a typical man, leaving everything until the last moment. Thought I had plenty of time but it kind of crept up on me. Now having to work like mad to catch up.

    Jules , I hope the visit to your mother went okay. With regard to my father he is still in hospital but recovering slowly. My brother in law was due to go in to have a metal rod inserted in his hip joint today but it was cancer and replaced with a consultation instead. They have recommended he have a hip replacement instead and he has agreed, so waiting to hear when this will happen now. His psa has come right down. Thanks for asking about them

    Hope. I am pleased to read you feel you are feeling a little better, it does take time as I know all too well.

    Gill. Hope you are keeping well and your next treatment goes as well as the previous ones.

    Susananne. Congratulation on the new arrival. I bet you are very proud  and have given James lots of cuddles.

    Sorry everything is a bit short today as I have now got to do and find some photos to put in the frames I have just completed.

    Take care ladies, have a great week, hugs to you all, Brian.


  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

    Never worry about posting "downers" on this site. I think everybody on here has a right to be down sometime one way or another and this site is the perfect place to get support when you feel that way.  I hope your visit to your Mum was a little better today.  I totally agree with you that there are different levels of acceptance about death and I do feel I have reached a new one just recently; of course it is still painful but I do feel less traumatised now. Hope you have managed to win back the remote by now!  Remember we are always here to listen especially when you are feeling an outsider or that things are getting on top of you.  Take care.  Hope x

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Hello Brian,

    Good to hear from you, can tell you are really busy - hope the exhibition goes well.  As you have noticed I am feeling slightly better these past few weeks and feel that I have come to a different level of acceptance.  Maybe that will be short-lived but am making the most of it.  Take care and enjoy the exhibition.  Hope x

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Hello Brian  many thanks for your kind words of congratulations on our lovely little baby James  who is doing well mum and dad are a little tired he seems to sleep after his feeds by day but nightimes are his teasy time ,so he has been to see me for a cuddle and I fed him  they are home now and are going to bath him tonight then feed him hoping it will tire him out and sleep better  we will see ha ha if so will carry on doing the same every day I remember it well ....I see you are keeping very busy  woodturning  and writing your books and I hope Mrs B is keeping well ..Rusty and I have had some lovely walks in the sunshine this last few weeks but I think rain is promised for the weekend  , roll on summer ..thankyou again Brian and hope you have a restfull weekend ...Susananne

  • Offline in reply to SUSANANNE

    Hi Brian good post it is late and had a drink will post later good night and god bless to all xxxx

  • Offline in reply to urostar

    Hi Brian

    Fingers crossed that you get everythng done for exhibition in time for Saturday.  It is not just men that leave things to the last minute believe me.

    Final full chemo yesteday was fine.  Left hospital just before 3.30pm which is the earliest yet.  Two fusions of one of the drugs now due, the first on 20 May nd the final one on 10 June (daughter's birthday).  Will take cakes and cards for the team as they have been wonderful.

    Jules

    Hope visit to your mum went was well as you can expect.

    With both hubby and your Mum it must be very difficult for you as neither seem to want to confront their situations.  All you can do is supprt them as be st you can.  Wish there was something more I could suggest.

    Thanks to all for your support which has been very much appreciated.

    Gill

  • Offline in reply to SleepyCat

    Hi Everyone,

    Just a quick thank you for your replies as I dash in for my dinner. Here is a picture of something I have just completed which I have never turned before.

    Mrs B thinks it's quite funny but have learnt from this one and the next one will hopefully be better. Take care and will talk again soon.

    Best wishes, Hugs Brian.[[ ]]

  • Offline in reply to SleepyCat

    Hi everyone,

    Here is a photo of the five free-standing picture frames I have just finished ready for the exhibition. The timber was an old wooden cill that my sone gave me as it was being thrown out. The timber is a malasian timber called Meranti

    Take care everyone, Brian

                              [[ ]]

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Hi Brian

    A little later getting on today as tubes, though running this afternoon (despite the striking staff) are a little out of sync.  Ingoing journey was by bus but still managed to get in on time (left home 45mins earlier to compensate though!!).  Firstly wanted to say how lovely your woodworking looks (Mrs B's'funny' label would be 'quirky' to me and something I would buy if I saw it whilst attending the show).  I am sure it must give you immense pleasure creating with wood in this way.  The photo frames should also do really well.Hope the show goes well.

    Glad  your Dad is continuing his recovery - he is just amazing.  Fingers crossed that all goes well for your brother in law once his op goes ahead but great news on his psa.

    Visited Mum yesterday and she was being seen by the doctor (non emergency surgery every Tuesday and the staff are great on getting those who need to be checked over looked at).Apparently she had been more down than usual and was a bit shaky on her legs. They were worried it might be the onset of Parkinsons.  The GP does not believe this is the case but that it is probably due to her lack of exercise and caused by muscle wastage (she has been down this route before) and they are going to bring in a physio to try and encourage her to move a bit more.  She will not do it for me but will probably respond to 'authority'.  She is unfortunately just not interested in anything anymore and told me to leave after 10 mins as 'I was wasting my time'.  I told her that as I had chosen to visit I could choose when to leave and she put up with me for another 40 mins.  I have an appointment with the care team for a review on Friday week so will see how we go forward (at least whilst she is in their care). She will be 88 next month and told me what to buy her  despite not wanting to celebrate 'yet another birthday'.  Despite the depression she is continuing to eat and drink okay and her mind is as sharp as a pin when she wants something done and is very capable of working out her money when I show her how things are going.

    Hubby is enjoying some of the 20/20 cricket coverage (my Dad loved cricket so I am happy to watch too) and is currently choping on crisps.  Seems to enjoy snacks far more than mealtimes so am glad to just see him eat to be honest.

    Hope  you enjoy your weekend (pretty sure the Wood Exhibition is this weekend?) and am please to see the quotes on the other thread too (try and log on in the morning as they very often give me my first smile of the day).  Sending you and Mrs B hugs. Jules x.

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