Morning Gill

There is not much personal control (in our situation) when it comes to cancer conversation so if I can offer support to others on the forum then I am grateful for that.  Many people say its often easier to talk to people you are not emotionally linked with (hubby is certainly one of them) and a little gentle guidance is very welcome (I really appreciated it (and still do) when our journey began and I feel extremely lucky to have so many virtual buddies keeping me company).

Glad your daughter is enjoying her home comforts but can understand her frustrations when it comes to the revision - really annoying when info is incomplete and you are unable to access what you need.  Fingers crossed when she returns either the heating it sorted or, preferably, the weather means she wont need it on.

Hope y ou and Lisa enjoy your coffee morning.  I had an early start (6.45) at the launderette  and have just finished the ironing (washing machine broke last Sept and its not on the list of 'needs must' yet.  Am definitely a morning person as far as housework is concerned (dont feel guilty when I am then sitting down as its done!!).  Hubby does not surface much before 10.30 these days (though usually does not go to bed till early hours!!) so I try to get things done beforehand.  I do miss having him around the breakfast table though.  His main discomfort is in his back (apparently very common with his form of cancer, as is extreme fatigue) and he is not enjoying being dependent on painkillers.  Whilst his consultant keeps telling him he would enjoy a better quality of life if he 'masked the pain' he seems to feel differently about it.  Hey ho, he must follow his own way - he certainly does not appreciate me agreeing with his consultant so I try not to offer 'words of wisdom' any more (can you imagine how hard that it is when I love to talk).

Hope you have a good weekend.  Sadly I think I will only  be looking out at the garden rather than in it - its chucking it down here at present and weekend outlook not looking favourable on the 'can I read outside' front.  Look after yourself.  Jules x

Hi Hope

Thanks for the lovely kind words.  I think everyone on this forum keep each other going one way or another.  I just happen to be a chatterbox.  They do say opposites attract and that's certainly the case with me and the other half!  Have quiet weekend planned (think hubby still recovering from all the fresh air he enjoyed on his fishing day out) so apart from the mundane stuff of housework/shopping will hope for a break in the weather Sunday or will be taking a brolly for company to the Farmer's Market.  Hope you and the family have a good weekend (suspect you are now  back into the swing of the school day).  Look after  yourself. Hugs  Jules x

Hi Jules

I usually have an early start - I mean I get woken up by the cat around 6am (when she does it have 5am she gets told to get lost).  Not sure I would want to go to the laundrette but then as you say it is not an essential to get the washing machine fixed at present.

I can sort of understand hubby not wanting to take any more painkillers that absolutely necessary.  When I was admitted to hospital they gave me tramadol but I was so spaced out that when it came time for my next dose I refused so they gave me oral morphine instead.  Although I know from some other people that taking high doses of this can have a simiar efffect.  Luckily I only needed a low dose for a day.  It must be so difficult to rely on them all the time.

My mum is 91 with a heart condition and spends a lot of time during the day asleep.  She then goes to be very late but complains that she cannot sleep!  In some ways it must be similar to hubby.  He is not doing much and probably dozes during the day and therefore does not need as much sleep at night.  I only wish I could offer something more concrete.  My mum is incredibly lucky in that she lives with one of my sisters.  If she was not local then mum would have gone into a home some years ago.  Frankly I am not sure how my sister copes.  Mum drives me mad when we see her which is only one day every 6 or 7 weeks although have not seen her since Christmas as she lives about 2.5 hours drive away and I would find it too tiring at present.

Did meet with Lisa earlier and it was lovely although none of us (daughter came with me) had cake.  My appetite has not been so good today.  Hopefully we can arrange a three way meet with you at some time.

Best wishes and hugs.

Gill

Hello Jules hope things are going well with hubby and yourself,I wanted to share some good news with you  yesterday my youngest son Dylan and his partner Bryony had their first child a lovely baby boy weighing 7lbs 5 ozs at 10 22am I was present at his birth mum was so brave and calm amazing baby is called James after my Tony who was James Anthony so a very emotional day I now have 9 grandchildren so very expensive at certain times of year  when Bryony goes back to work I will be looking after james 2 days a week as they both work different hours  so will be kept busy I expect but look forward to it .The weather in Cornwall is gorgeous and has been for quite a few days so have done what I need to in the garden ,although it going to rain over the weekend .How are things going with Mum Jules is she still in the same home have all probs been sorted I know you were very worried and social services were being  a pain I hope she is well and happy .Jules I hope you both have a lovely weekend and the weather is kind to you  ...Big hug as usual Susananne ......

Good morning Susananne

What beautiful news you had for me and for all your family.  An amazing experience for you to be able to witness and  now happy and proud granny to 9 -wow.  Congratulations to the new parents too who are very lucky to have you in place as an eager childminder when the time comes for Byrony to return to work.  I am already imagining you walking with pushchair and Rusty in lovely surroundings

I wondered where the sun had gone; now I know.  We had rain virtually all day yesterday and have woken to it again this morning though it is very mild.  No way will I be gardening!!   Hubby has said he will take me to do the weekly shop today but will wait and see how he feels once he is up.  The last couple of weeks I have walked to the supermarket with my 'trolley' as he had been a bit low but with Easter with the family and a day's fishing this week (and with catch up naps since) seems he wants to help again.  It is just a case of fitting in with how he wants to do things.  We did not have our social evenings out last night as our friends were away so guess who fell asleep in front of the tv this time -me.

Am sure you will be enjoying your weekend and love the choice of name for the new edition too though can appreciate the emotional time you will all have been through.  Look after yourself and thanks so much for letting me (and the forum) be part of your good news story.  Hugs  Jules x

Hi Gill

Glad you enjoyed your get-together with Lisa for coffee.  Hope that today your appetite will be a little better and that you are not too tired.  Has the chemo affected your tastebuds - hubby's still not enjoying food like he used to as he still finds very little tastes as it did pre treatment (now over 16 months ago).  Of course the cancer growth does also play its part as he feels full after just a little food - we are on small child portions now and trying to fill in with high calorie snacks - we have  'fat and thin'  sides in our fridge - though my willpower is taking a few hits recently so I could be in for a ticking off next time I have blood tests.  Must try harder!!

I have had lots of comments about my going to the launderette but its only 10mins walk away and my Mum never had a washing machine (still doing her own trip to her local launderette up until her fall and subsequent move to care at the ripe old age of 85) so perhaps its in the genes ha ha.  We need a new machine completely but do not want to pressure him indoors at the moment  (my  children(who have both offered to take me to the shop for one, think I am mad too).

My Mum will be 88 next month and has never been a good 'night' sleeper.  Sadly its her bipolar mental condition(plus mobility issues) which meant she needed care (she refused to return home after her last fall and her local social services arranged for her to move to a residential home near to me).  Unfortunately it is privately run and so when her savings run out (our local social services will not help fund her as they consider she should  be in the community (with drop in carers) but she refused to go until her own money runs out) she will have to be moved against her will - something I am dreading of course. In a few months I will be taking up the matter again on her behalf. Life certainly has its twists and turns for many of us and currently am just trying to cope with things day to day as best we can.

Hope you have a lovely weekend though the weather is not looking like I can escape into the garden!!  Take care  and hugs   Jules x

Hi Brian

As you can see I have been 'catching up' with posts too. No apologies needed.

We certainly had lots of rain - all day yesterday and overnight and its still showery here at present.  No mowing this weekend!!

You must have lots of patience to be able to get things up to date on the computer - totally frustrating I am sure but the end results will bring lots of pleasure to the grandchildren.  Hope too that you will be able to get your woodturning skills back on track as I know you have a big weekend looming for the Wood Club.  Lets hope the weather improves for that. Wishing you and Mrs B a good weekend and hope you both keeping okay.  How are your Dad and  brother in law doing - any recent news?  Kind thoughts and hugs. Jules x

Hi Jules

it was lovely to meet up with Lisa and yes we are planning to try and get down to see you at some time.

As to tastes it is really odd.  Somethings taste the same and other things taste completely different and sometimes things taste different from day to day which is why most of the time I am existing on ready meals.  There is little worse than spending ages cooking something only to throw it away after a couple of mouthfulls because it tastes horrible.  I am hoping it will gradually return to normal sooner rather than later but have been warned it could take some time.

I can understand you not wanting to pressure hubby at present as he probably does not feel up to dealing with this or anything else.

I can understand your mum not wanting to return home after a fall at her age.  It is such a shame that she will have to move from her current place when the funds run out.  We can only hope she will settle in and be happy in the home they move her to.  I am surprised Social Services even suggested she move back home and have carers visit.  It does not sound a good idea after a fall and having bipolar to contend with.  Must make life somewhat difficult for you and even more so when they move further away.

Hope you have a good weekend.  It keeps raining here.  Four times I have put washing out and had to grab it back in.  Have now given up for the day!

Gill

Hi Gill

Have to agree about the ready meals but just thought they were better than my cooking (a pet hate anyway!!).  Its nearly 18 months since hubby's chemo and he still mentions weird tastes from time to time though I think the loss of appetite now is more to do with the cancer growth as he feels full very quickly.  Yesterday it was blackcurrent squash that has suddenly become a no no.  Learning curves every day and no two days the same is just a way of life now.  Most days we eat pretty different meals but I am grateful if he just eats something.  His breakfast is the best meal of the day at the moment when he manages a large bowl of cereal as well as half a pint of  milk and he is now drinking coffee again (plenty of sugar added for the calories!!) which was something he went off very quickly following chemo.  Day by day is certainly normal now.  He managed the drive to supermarket yesterday and, supported by the trolley walked round slowly with me but this is basically the only time out for him this week.  He feels there is little point going out as it wont make him feel better - its just very sad.

When the time comes for Mum to move she will probably  be transferred to a council supported sheltered housing block with a care plan (this is what she turned down as it will mean having to refurnish a flat and being on her own most of the day) as they do not feel she needs a residential placement - I was amazed that they seem to accept she cannot do anything for herself (apart from feeding and drinking) but are quite happy these days to send in carers 'at the press of a button'.  Unfortunately as Mum would just prefer to be left alone and to be blunt her main wish is now to die (its what she asked for at Christmas and Mothers Day and sadly again when I asked her what she would like for her birthday) I dont think this would be a safe option but though this was all in the medical report they have 'procedures to follow'.  Getting angry about it does not help anyone but its just something more for me to feel out of control about and if I am honest am dreading the next few months for so many reasons I am just having to 'switch off' to cope.  Its certainly one of the reasons I am still hanging on to my part time work as long as I can (working is my time and I suppose my escape).

Oh dear I am sorry this sounds a bit 'moany' when I should be upbeat  that we are still in it together so to speak.  Will go and find some 'happy thoughts'.  Thanks for listening.

Have a good day - I expect your daughter will be returning to Uni and hope the heating (or the weather) improves to make it more comfortable.  Good luck with your last chemo too which must be fast approaching and you are doing very well which is great.  Jules xx