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Continuing the journey

jules54
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Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Hello Jules and Brian,I hope you dont mind me answering you both in 1 message ,the weather is not as nice today very dull with a chilly fell again but says its 11.4dosnt feel that way .glad hubby doing ok jules and able to help and advise at work ,and you have been busy as usual with your garden and family ,what would we do without our families to cheer us up I went to my son Justin and his wife Sarah sand Hollie and Tom 9 and 6 for a lovely roast pork dinner yesterday what a lovely treat and fun ,with the children .Brian your book sounds realy interesting I would love to be able to read it a pity it cant be put onto my kindle the last thing  T ony bought for me so useful I thought I wouldntlike one as its nice to hold a book ,but I was wrong it fits into my handbag so lots of reading,your grandchildren are very lucky to have books written by there YOUNG grandad, dont they make you laugh ...Thankyou both for your usual support in this life that is so difficult and challenging...Susananne

  • Offline in reply to urostar

    Evening George

    Sounds like you  had another  busy family weekend but they bring so much enjoyment.  I spent many a happy hour weeding (but my knees and back did  not thank me).  Now its done I can sit and admire my handiwork and begin relaxing when the sun shines.  Lovely day here again today but I was working and the garden was in the shade whenI got home so made do with putting out the food for the birds.  Take care of yourself. Jules x

  • Offline in reply to SUSANANNE

    Hi Susanne

    Shame your weather not so great. We have been lucky with another sunny day, though a little cooler with the breeze.  I suppose we can't

    grumble really as its still pretty early in the year.  I spent quite a bit of time int he garden yesterday and have a slight tan already (just because I was working and then sitting reading for a couple of hours in the late morning/early afternoon.  Nice coming in from work today and seeing it looking tidy.Just a bit of shrub tidying to do and then I become the lazy lady in the lounger.  Glad that Rusty is such good company. We have two cats that visit most days and keep us amused with their antics - not sure what their owners would think as pretty sure they do not realise they are popping in regularly (we do not feed them but they seem to like company so perhaps their owners do not have cat flaps).  Take care of yourself.  Jules xx

  • Offline in reply to SUSANANNE

    Hi all

    Just need to have a chat.  Hubby all set up to pop into work today (previously planned at end of last week).  Sorted out medications, overnight bag (just in case he could not face drive home) etc etc. He had even eaten a good dinner last night (appetite has been a bit hit and miss the last couple of weeks) and we had arranged 'get up' for breakfast for 7 so he could leave at 8.Oh yes did I say he was looking forward to it!!  My day off but was still up early as usual and had just finished preparing breakfast when his phone bleeped so I took it up to him.  His boss had decided that Wednesday would be better.  Hubby's face fell and silly, I know, but I felt really with his boss (who can't possibly realise how much affect it had bless him).  Needless to say he stayed in bed (had breakfast after I had gone out (pre planned morning with my daughter and Zack to visit Mum) and is back watching repeats on tv.  Hope tomorrow he will enjoy a visit to work though not sure the emotional ups and downs are doing either of us any good at the moment.. End of rant. Jules xx

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Oh Jules,

    Now I understand the need for self medicating! (On my thread!)

    I bet words like 'disappointed ' 'frustrated' 'deflated' etc, don't come close to describing how your poor hubby - and you - must have felt to get that phone call from his old boss!

    I hope tomorrow proves to be a productive and fulfilling day for your hubby, to make up for today's disappointment.

    Take care and rant here anytime!

    Personally, I think you deserve a glass of chilled, dry white!

    (I'll be getting a reputation as a lush!   )

    Hugs, Jo xxx

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Oh Jules I realy feel for your hubby and for you to see  his disappointment,and so inconsiderate of his boss who surely must know how difficult things are for him ,and you missing a much needed lie in .Still hubby will gearing himself up for tomoro,hope all goes well for him ,and hope you enjoyed time out with your daughter and Zack and hope mum was on good form and well,anyway Jules keep smiling tomoro is another day ..a big hug for you ..Susananne

  • Offline in reply to Meerkat@65

    Thanks Jo

    Am building up slowly ............with a bunch of grapes.Jules xx

  • Offline in reply to SUSANANNE

    Thanks Susananne

    Always know where to get 'friendly support'. Just waiting for my jacket pototo to cook and may have to wash it down with something a little more uplifting than orange squash.  Trying to lift hubby's spirits (currently has neighbours cat making a fuss of him!!) with promise of forthcoming Thai curry.  Thanks for the hugs which are happily returned and hope you have a peaceful evening.  Jules xx

    ps   lie-ins are not very much not my thing so the boss probably knew I would be up and about - crafty wotsit!!

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

    Sorry to hear hubbys trip was cancelled at short notice and can understand his disappointment. Which in turn had also caused you an upset as well and you both have enough problems without this additional upset.  I hope your visit to your mother went well and yes a young child or baby's smile is so infectious and make everyone smile and has a way of making everyone feel better.

    I got the results of my blood test yesterday and although my psa is higher than last time at 0.43 it is still very low and I am not worried as my consultant told me it would gradually rise back up but he doesn't think it will go beyond 3.5 so plenty of lee-way yet.

    Hope your day at work tomorow treat you kindly and your husband not only enjoys his trip to his works but it doesn't tire him out too much.

    Take care Jules, best wishes, Brian

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Thanks Brian for your kind message.  Glad also that your results still showing you keeping well as I am sure there is a little anxiety attached to waiting for the news to filter back. Have a good evening and all the  best to you and Mrs B.  As Susananne so rightly says tomorrow is another day and am grateful for that.  Jules xx

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