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Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Morning George

    You are certainly keeping busy pre appointments and I do hope when they come around they can offer you some relief to your symptoms.  Ria is a very 'healthy' companion making sure you have plenty of exercise.

    Yet another beautiful picture from your garden and I now have a wonderful display of quince blossom at the end of the garden which even my hubby commented on (he can see it from where he sits!!).

    Wishing you a very pleasant weekend and am hoping the sun manages to put its hat on today (rather overcast here at present but no fog thankfully). Take care  Jules xx

  • Hello Jules I hope all is well with you and hubby today  I dont come onto the forum  often but do look around sometimes and know that the support and friendship is always here and if I can give any in return I will ..The weather is beautiful here in Cornwall at present  sunny and 14 dgs Rusty and I went for a lovely walk this morning met lots of other dogs and owners  ..Last Saterday we went to the beach and I dont think I have ever seen so many people ther e kites flying even people in the sea [oooh to cold ]I saw that you have quince    tree   with  blossom will have to look in my book to see what it looks like ,I have an ornamental peach tree and the blossom always looks lovely a deep pink then when that drops there are the leaves and the birds have nest boxes in it and blue *** are busy making nests in 1I have to check where my cat Button is as have caught her stalking naughty girl ,its lovely to get out into thr garden have done a lot of pruning and tidyingthis week as I see you have too,its hard work but very rewarding  isnt it ,well Jules I hope you both enjoy the weekend and that the weather is kind to you ......Susananne x

  • Hi Jules,

    Running way behind today as I have been to one of my monthly cancer meetings so had to get myself some chips on the way home. Have just been outside and mowed the front and back lawns for the shorter cut and boy was that hard work. Surprising how much it had grone since last week when I did the top cut. Dont know who is more exhausted, the mower or me All Mrs B did was stand and supervise. Only joking, she did sweep up after me.One lawn was nearly all moss.

    I have just modified our wood club directory as we have lost some member but also gained some new ones had had to alter it and send it via e-mail to all our committee members. With regard to our local NUT SHOP, I am thinking of buying shares but only if I get a big discount!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    So glad to hear your husband enjoyed his night out last night and hope you did too. Bet you have been out in the garden today. If it's fine tommorow, I have got to sort out two small paving slabs which are used as steps at the back of my gararge. During the wet weather they have come loose and are very unstable so need to sort them out before Mrs B has a fall. I am enclosing a photo of some primroses taken this week alongside the road. I always think spring is here when I see them.

    Take care Jules best wishes, Brian.[[ ]]

  • Hi Susananne

    Lovely to hear that you and Rusty are making the most of the Cornish sunshine.  Certainly feel better when the sun is out and the days are a little warmer.  I have been busy outside and enjoying the peace of the garden (along with the company of neighbours cats and the birdsong).  Hubby is pretty much the same painwise (still not having to take much in the way of the additional standby morphine) and has told the community nurse he is 'fine'.  I am noticing that he is not eating quite as well and also sleeps quite a bit.  However always manages to cope well when we have company.  This week we have been out for lunch with friends, he had his night out with his mate as usual on Friday and yesterday our daughter and family were here for a few hours and it was good to see him with the baby on his lap.  He is also going to his workplace on Tuesday (possibly longer) to give guidance on a job they have on.  I know it will take it out of him and he will be very tired afterwards but it seems only right that he does what he wants to do (its certainly what his consultant told him but then she also told him to exercise daily and that is not something he listened too).

    Thanks for your continued support and hope you and your family are keeping well.  Look after yourself.  Jules xx

  • Hi Brian

    The flowers look lovely and I just love this time of year (when the sun is shining).  Mowed the lawn again Friday and my daughter and family were here yesterday for a few hours so managed   to play in the garden.  Baby Zack sat on Grandad's knee and is very placid and happy at present and the eldest grandson was happy searching for bugs and playing 'off roading' in the  bare part of the  border I leave for him (keeps the flowers in the other parts of the garden safe and him quiet for quite a time!!).  Hope you did not tire yourself out too much dealing with the paving slabs but better safe than sorry.

    Today I am aiming to finish weeding the back garden borders (done the worst side first thankfully) and as the sun is already beautiful here think will aim for a 10 a.m. start. Once this is done I can drag out a chair and get reading.  Well off to make a coffee to take with me and will pop back in to make hubby his breakfast when he comes down.  Have a peaceful day. Jules xx

  • Hi Susananne,

    Haven't spoken to you for a while so many apologies. I feel sure Jules wont mind me using her thread to post to you. Nice to hear you still enjoy going for a walk with your Rusty. I have just come in from the garden as I have had to fix four small paving slabs that are used as steps for the back door of my garage. I had thought only two were lose but all four had come lose during the wet weather. They wont come adrift any more with the amount of cement I have used or if they do I will eat my hat. (don't have one anyway so I'm quite safe) Doesn't this nice weather make us all feel better. We have a cherry tree in our front garden and the leaves are just opening up. It has dark pink blossom which wont be long before its in bloom.

    Anyway take care Susananne and it nice to see your name cropping on here. Best wishes, Brian 

  • Hello Brian [ I hope Jules dosnt mind answering you ]Its nice to hear you have been able to get out into the garden although its such hard work,but lovely to sit and enjoy the results ..Yes I take Rusty out twice a day he is going to be 10 in April but still thinks he is a puppy,he is my best friend and my rock since my Tony died its been a year now and missing him is so painfull.I know he would be sitting in the garden in the sunshine with a lovely contented smile on his face ..I was just looking out and saw the blue *** flying back and forth to the bird house in tree a while back my neighbour put it higher up because my naughty cat Button stalks and I dont want any murder in my garden thankyou ha ha..Brian are you still writing your books for your grandchildren ..I hope mrs b is well and enjoying the sun ,enjoy your afternoon  ,best wishes ...Susananne

  • Brian and Susanne

    Jules really loves it when people chat to each other so please feel free anytime to 'use my thread'.  The more the merrier I say   Sending you both sunny hugs and peaceful thoughts.xxx

  • Hi Jules .Hope you have a great day I have seen most of the family including   Reece our 5 years old great grand son and dinner at our sons 8 of us a very good meal .

    Right watching Harry now been waiting all week .Take care  best regards xx george

  • Hi Jules and Susananne,

    It's nice and sunny here again at the moment. Yes ladies I am still writing my books. I have ten stories started but I am determined to get some of them finished. One I am working on is about a guy who teaches I.T. and move from England to Canada to take up a similar post . He lost his mother years ago and his father who was Canadian died before he was born. It revolves around how once in Canada he is persuaded to try find his fathers Canadian family. As my dear wife pushed me into finding my own father in Canada about twenty three years ago, I do have first hand experience of the emotions that go with this. Like will he want to know me If we do find him. But when The Salvation Army did find him and told us dad wanted to make contact with us was without doubt, one of the happiest days of my life. Following on from that I found out I had three sisters and two brothers In Canada and even had a sister in this country that I had known nothing about. I had grown up, thinking I was an only child and had always wanted a sister so I was over the moon when I found out this information and had in fact got four of them. It was a quite life changing experiance I can tell you.

    Susananne, Rusty must mean a lot to you, they are great company aren't they.

    Take care, both of you, will chat again soon, hugs to you both, Brian