Hi Jules,

I hope you have not been affected by the weather. Quite unexpectedly, Mrs B told me she wanted to chat about her brothers cancer, and we were able to have a long chat where she told me she had been very concerned for him. I hope I have been able to calm her fears by assuring her there are several options regarding treatment. Since then she has thankfully been more her old self.

As I type this I have been watching the news and have to say I do feel so sorry for those whose homes have been flooded.

I did manage to get two more packs of chestnuts yesterday so have about a weeks supply left before I have to resort to my frozen ones.

I do hope your husbands cough is getting better and he is okay when driving your daughter to get her replacement car.

Take care and I wish you a peaceful but enjoyable weekend, Brian.

Hi Brian

Being kept indoors by rotten weather again = grrrrrr!!

So good that your wife was able to discuss her brothers situation openly with you - its all about timing and when you feel its right to discuss things. Funnily enough hubby was in that kind of mood when he finally got up this morning and for the first time in ages was able to talk (albeit for just a few moments) about how he is currently feeling (thankfully no worse despite having cough lingering after Christmas cold). His GP has put forward a possible change to how he takes his pain relief (when the current prescription is finished) but it looks as though his next consultation with the hospital oncologist will take place first so he will discuss it with them further before changing.  More of an issue at present is how much he is able to eat before he feels full (less than my grandson at times) which makes mealtimes  harder to plan but I have now told him he needs to be honest with me about what and how much he would like so that I can adjust accordingly. Fingers crossed this helps.

Have spent some time this morning getting lounge back to pre-Christmas 'normal' and is looks so much less cluttered so feeling pretty pleased thats out of the way.  No luck at the bingo last night but just a nice social chat with my friend (plus a glass of wine and slice of Christmas cake - yummy).  Our 'boys' enjoyed a trip the their local and we were home by 10.30.

Hope you and your wife enjoy a peaceful weekend and you are not suffering from 'writers cramp' with all the stories on the go. Take care Jules xx

Hi Jules,

Well the weather here continues to be awful eh!  Have just returned from the cemetery where the wind seemed even stronger.  Am waiting for youngest to return from football training no doubt looking like a drown rat!  Eldest going back tomorrow ready for Uni Mon, has still been studying during the holidays - no peace for medial students!  Glad your work wasn't too busy on New Years Day, hope hubby is OK and that you enjoy your time with Zack today. Hope x

Hi Brian,  Happy New Year to you, have been reading through some of your posts and am so glad that Mrs B spoke to you about her anxieties before you had to force the issue.  In my experience it's never good to bottle things up, although I know many do choose that way.  I just end up exploding anyway so much better to share feelings. I'm sure she feels much better now having talked things through with you, and  I do hope your brother-in-law gets speedy treatment.  Wishing you health and happiness for 2014.  Hope x

Hi Hope,

Well the morning started bright and frosty and it was a real pleasure to see the sun for a change!  Hubby did not show his face downstairs until 11 by which time it was clouding over and now its pouring again.  Hubby is a bit low just now and has been struggling with cold and cough since Christmas but suggestions by me to get checked out falling in deaf ears as usual.  He is spending longer in bed and sleeping more and more during the day so suspect there are changes ahead when we see his consultant at end of themonth (at least he does not opt to miss those appointments and I get to know whats going on!).

Yesterday afternoon went okay and our daughter and family now have a family car again. In the end I was only babysitting for just about 2hrs but he was fine, fed, changed and dozing when they returned.  Of course when it came to the time for us to have our fish and chips for dinner he was not amused and let us know he had a good pair of lungs.  I read him a story which quietened him down for long enough for the rest of the family to eat undisturbed and then had mine afterwards.  I remember well (even though its many moons ago) what its like to eat cold meals!!  Once he had his evening feed at 6 he soon nodded off and then they went home so that eldest could be in bed for 7.30 (extra half hour as it was Saturday).

Hope you enjoying a peaceful weekend and will chat again soon.  Jules xx

Hi Jules,

Just an update on the ducks saga, I have just seen two of them and I am sure they were wearing life-jackets.  Please forgive me Jules, I do talk nonsense at times.

Since the talk with my wife, she is still okay so it just shows how much it had been worrying her. Yesterday, she started on one of the 500 pc jigsaw puzzles I bought her, for this is something she hasn't done for years and which she always liked doing bas a child. She has finished it today and I have enjoyed just watching her. She admitted she really enjoyed doing it.

Just like your husband, she overslept this morning and never heard the news on our radio/alarm clock. I got told off for letting her sleep on but judged that she needed it for until our talk she hadn't been sleeping at all well.

So pleased your husband opened up to you, even if only for a short time. I appreciate why he does it but it must make it so hard for you to feel excluded from his feelings. Marrige is a partneship and have always shared my feelings with my wife. She does tend to bottle things up however but we always sort things out in the end. Talking about meals, I have to say that since my treatment ended, there are one or two foods that I have gone right off, cheese being one of them. I used to love a cheese sandwich bit now have to rally feel in the mood before eating one. Plus since retiring, I cant eat the amount I used to do, with the exception of my nuts of course.

How is your friend keeping and have you managed to spend some time with her? She sounds a very brave lady. My son has just bought a new £400 camera and has been hoping for a dry day so he can get out and try it out but no luck so far.

Take care Jules, and I hope you have a stress free week, Brian.

Hi Hope,

Happy new year to you too. I can understand it being very emotional going back to your parents house with all the memories it must hold for you. All I can say is to try and remember the good times you shared with them there but it's easier said than done. Like many others I am pleased in some ways that Christmas is done and dusted for another year and life can get back to some sort of normality. I've not know which day is which recently so hope this week we can resume our normal routine.

Do take care and look forward to talking again soon, Brian.

Hi Jules,

Sorry to hear hubby is low at the moment, it must be so difficult for you unyet you always seem to remain so calm.  I do hope things improve in the coming days.  I am back to work tomorrow so back to some sort of normality, whatever that is now. I'm trying to be positive for the New Year but afraid I am still having my very sad moments.  Took eldest back to Uni tonight in the torrential rain!  Do hope the weather improves a bit soon - still at least no snow yet.  Glad your daughter now has a car, always essential when there are little ones to transport about.  Typical that Zack waited until your teatime to show off his lung capacity - mind you I'm sure you can forgive him for anything, babies have that ability!  Hope you have a good week and that hubby's cold and cough improve.  Hope x

Hi Brian,

Thanks for your post.  I'm trying to be positive for New Year and I always remember the wise words you have told me on my time on this site.  I do have treasured memories for which I am grateful, unfortunately in turn they do also make me sad at times but I know that things will ease in time.  Well Christmas and New Year are done and I hope that 2014 begins well for you and Mrs B.  So glad to read that she is much more back to her normal self after your talk.  Take care.  Hope x

Morning Hope

Just wanted to wish you all the best with the return to work following your Christmas break.  Being busy with 'normal life' gives us all something to keep our minds on and helping the next generation is a very worthwhile cause. I returned to my part time work last week and the festivities seem  a distant memory already.

I am doing my best to keep as calm as I can (my insides do churn a great deal)  I of course worry about what the future journey holds, my Dad's best legacy to me was to remind me that worrying about something you have no control over just wastes energy.  He dealt with his own illness with so much dignity and strength and I find that helps me now (though to be fair we have not yet faced a major crisis when I will probably be in bits!). Emotional upsets tend to take me unawares (almost like they build without my realising it) and often its the happy memories we are making that will suddenly remind me of what the family will ultimately lose.  In truth, I never really know how I am going to react to a given situation and most of my stressful times seem to revolve around not coping with everyday things which once upon a time I took in my stride.  This forum has enabled me to talk through so many aspects of our cancer journey that I never feel I am coping alone and day to day life will continue whatever happens to me personally (and my Dad always told me that his life was a privelege after he survived the war when so many of his pals fell) and I feel so very lucky to have our children/grandchildren to help fill my head with the good things in life.  As hubby spends so much more time sleeping(this is apparently his way of not dealing with his enforced retirement according to the chat with his doctor) my house has never been tidied so much and I do find it hard watching him unable to enjoy things around him  whilst he still could be. Frustration is my biggest enemy (and my biggest guilt) but then moaning about it does not solve the problem so its onwards and upwards.

Take care Hope and remember our emotional outbursts are, as Brian has always said so well, our safety valve. Sending you hugs for a peaceful (though no doubt busy) week..  Jules xx