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Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

Parents
  • Morning Jules,

    Was just wondering how you got on when you visited your Mum this week, and also how your daughter got on at hospital?  I do hope things are not too stressful for you and that you can try and have a relaxing weekend.

    I'm waiting for my eldest to come home, he has spent somewhat of Freshers sleeping on fellow pupils floors after social events - latest was a toga party last night!  I'm off to my counsellor this morning, had originally been thinking I wouldn't need to see her for too much longer but have been so emotional this week so will talk things over with her.

    The weather is forecast to be nice this weekend but is looking a bit gloomy at present.  Here's hoping it brightens up and the sun shines on us all.  Take care  Hope x

  • Hi Hope

    Hope you visit to the counsellor was helpful and its good for you to be able to talk things through and this should last as long as you need it.

    I have just returned from visiting Mum and she was ok though I am sure a little concerned at how long she will be able to stay where she.  She has amazed the staff at how forthright she was when social worker 'interviewed' her and they are left in no doubt as to what she wants. All the care staff came to see me whilst I was visiting to make sure I was okay too - very sweet.  I stayed until she was due to go into lunch and we even managed a bit of a laugh when I showed her latest photos of her great grandson.  He has really enjoyed his first week in Reception and keeps telling his mum that his teacher is the most beautiful one in the school!!

    Hubby and I picked him up from school on Friday as my daughter had to return to hospital for a second day of tests and monitoring.  Specialist blood tests with regard to her liver function have been sent off and unless she hears otherwise she returns to clinic next Friday.  The last set of bloods were borderline but all readings for the baby were good.  If the new blood tests show certain 'rises' she may have to be taken in and possibly induced (she is now 37 weeks and would probably welcome is being over and done with!!).  Anyway so far so good.  I have an overnight bag ready and waiting and she has several friends on standby to get her to the hospital if her hubby is at work.  Mind you she is still driving herself at present!!

    When we met our grandson at school (its only 10mins to his home) he told Grandad that he could meet us there as it was healthier to walk!!!  My hubby's face was a picture as he drove off and I walked the little tyke home!!

    Life's stresses seem to come and go but having the forum to offload certainly helped me to see things in perspective this week though I think my mood swings are more due to hormones than current circumstances.

    Sounds like your eldest having a great time during Freshers but will no doubt be looking forward to some home cooking.  Have a great weekend with the family and will catch up again soon.  All the best and look after yourself. Jules xx

  • Morning Brian,

    Have just popped into the forum before heading out to my hair appointment  (half hour walk but looks a bit nippy!!).  No luck at the bingo but good to be out socialising with my friend and catch up with all our family news of the last week.   Just to further your vision of the 'silly socks' contest (mostly animal orientated I might add) at least two of us have 'jumpers' to match so fear no one will be taking us seriously when Christmas morning comes around.  Hubby also enjoyed his evening in the pub and am beginning to hope that this is where he talks things through (just hate thinking he is bottling it all inside).

    Hope your 'wood club' show goes well today and that the new members exhibiting, enjoy the experience of 'belonging'.  I am now thinging the club has its own member of the paparazzi!!  Have a happy and peaceful weekend. Jules x

  • Good morning Jules,

    Glad both you and your  husband enjoyed your Friday night out, you both deserve it. Our show went very well and it was good to meet up with my wood club friends and exchange banter with them, even if it was me giving out most of the banter. I do enjoy these shows but do find them very tiring. Once again I was amazed at the quality of work and the amount of talented people we have in out 110 wood club membership. I have put a couple of photos on the Amazing Quotes thread. I also enjoy meeting people and talking to them about our club. I didn't have as much wood turning done as normal so I put my books on display and had a lot of interest regarding them.

    I bet you will enjoy your grandsons party today and he will be one happy little boy. You will end up like me, tired but very happy.

    Now our show is finished, I had better get on with my oldest grandson's story for I want to give it to him for Christmas. I only have 7 pages written and want to end up with about forty or near to it so will have to get cracking.

    Take care Jules and have no doubt we will talk again soon, Brian.





  • Hi Jules,

    Hope your grandson enjoyed his birthday, and hope he managed to lift your hubby's spirits.  Expect you are now recovering from the party - these 5 year olds know how to have a good time!  Hope xx

  • Hi Brian,

    I love this bowl?? with Santa and his reindeers.It so striking. I love the other work you displayed as well. Well done to all your members. I told you I have always liked the ida of working with wood. A couple of years ago my dear husband bought us a second hand lathe with the idea that I should have a go, well I can tell you I haven't had one moment since to go out and have a go with it. He even gave me a few books to read up on all the safety aspects of it. Maybe over Christmas this year if the weather is not too cold I'll go out with him and have an hour of practice. There's just never enough hours in a day sometimes. LOL.

    Just got to get the dear man up in the loft in the next hour to get down any Christmas decorations/cards/wrapping paper before he starts another job. !!!!!

    Hope you and your wife are well. All the best

    Annabel. xx

  • Hi Jules,

    I hope you and all your family had a really great time especially at your grandson party.

    I am trying to get all Christmas presents for Daughter, Son and partners and grandaughter, and mother in law bought and wrapped by next Monday, then we are off down to Daughters to stay, and a day trip down to Hove to Mother in law and back home on the Friday. In between time hopefully will get to see son and his girlfriend as well.

    Zack sounds like he's doing really well with his weight. I don't know what Ava weighs but she is still in 0-3 months clothes. I sent some down this week which I had bought for Christmas and then thought OMG she might have already grown out of them, but they are still on the big side for her, Charlotte sent me a photo of her in some of them. So she is still petite but very lively looking now.

    Other half wanting me to do a job now so will come back and chat later.

    Annabel. xx

  • Hi Brian

    Glad the 'wood club' show went well and its great that you got some interest in your books as well.  Now its head down and getting the writing done to complete your grandson's new story.  You must have a head buzzing with ideas to achieve so much.

    We had a lovely time at the birthday party, as did the children.  One of the parents is a professional magician/balloonist so after the fun the bouncy castle/play tunnel/slide (indoors and huge!!) they had their party food and he performed magic tricks and made them all balloon animals/swords etc before they wearily went home.  My daughter finished feeding the baby and then we all made it home for around 6.30.  Glad it all went so well as had a message today to say the birthday boy has a double ear infection and had to go to the doctors rather than to school. Not nice at all but expect a few of the new toys he received will come in handy to help take his mind of the pain.  He has to go back in a couple of weeks to see if he needs treatment for glue ear and possibly grommets.  All part of childhood I guess!

    Hope you having a peaceful day after all the build up to the wood club event (and yes I did see the  beautiful pictures on the other thread and left a suitable comment. I hope!!).  Take care and kind thoughts are sent your way.  Jules x

  • Hi Hope

    Wehad a lovely time 'watching' all the children making the most of the party play area (all indoors as outlined in my response to Brian) and also enjoyed the magician (he entertained both the adults and children with amazing slight of hand) and his balloon art (every child that wanted a balloon figure of their choice went home happy!!  My grandson came over to all the grandparents/step grandparents afterwards and thanked us all for coming and said he had had a lovely birthday party and was a very lucky little boy (also thanked his Mum and Dad) - so sweet!!  Sadly today he is not quite so cheerful having develped a double ear infection and could not go into school (very disappointed) as need to go to the docs. Now has antibiotics so hopefully will clear up soon but has to go  back for a check up in a couple of weeks as may have glue ear and need grommets fitting (he suffered a lot as a baby with repetitive ear infections so this does not really come as a surprise but I do feel for him as it can be so painful).

    Hope you had a good and peaceful weekend.  When is it that you get to go on holiday? - hope this will be a more relaxing period for you.  I have just been told I do not need to work Boxing day so its lovely that I will have a 5 day break (or maybe 6 if he decides not to have me in on my official day off - Christmas Eve).  We go away for 3 days and then will be back home (usually arrange to have an open house so that friends can pop in and out when convenient).  I will probably work New Years Day but really dont mind that as we do not do anything then.

    Hubby coped quite well with a very social weekend (out Fri Eve, Sat p.m. and Sun p.m,.)  He is also visiting an old work buddy from may years ago this Wednesday for lunch which hopefully will lift his spirits too as it seems when he is out and engaged with others he has a better frame of mind than when just sitting indoors - understandable (too much thinking time when at home I think and its harder to switch off when you are doing nothing).

    Well next drink is called for so had best finish my mail and get to it. Sending kind thoughts and virtual hugs.Jules x

  • Hi Jules, made it back from the little job !!!! Getting stuff down from the loft for Christmas, cards wrapping paper etc.

    Sorry to hear your grandson now has ear trouble , but it's better to get it sorted whilst their young.

    My daughter went through many operations as she was just about the consultants worse case ever, even now when she gets a cold she has trouble shaking it off.

    She still goes a bit deaf when she gets a cold.

    I am sure his new toys will help him through the day.

    Bet you are really busy at work these days, you'll be glad to get a rest at christmas.

    All the best for now

    Annabel. xx

  • Hi Annabel

    We all  had a lovely time at the party and my grandson was over the moon with all his friends coming to play and thoroughly enjoyed himself.  Just as well as today he has developed a double ear infection and poor mite is not enjoying himself at all.  Doc has given him medicine and he has to go back in two weeks for a check up as he may have glue ear and will need grommets fitted.  He was 'seriously annoyed' that he could not go into school and tell  his 'beautiful teacher' how he celebrated birthday but all being well will go back in tomorrow.  Zack has had a change of milk/teat size to see if this helps with the reflux problems.  His older brother also suffered with it and its trial and error to see what actions help.  As to his clothes size its mainly the all in one suits that he has grown out off (he is  just very long!!) so as he likes his feet out anyway my daughter is going to chop the feet off most of them to make them last a little longer (she also had to do this for his brother as a small baby!!).  I bet you are really looking forward to spending some quality time with your daughter and family and hope you get to see your son and his girlfriend too - how is the job hunting going?  Will be nice for you all to see each other prior to Christmas.  I have all the present buying done but now need to get down to the wrapping up. Thankfully I can hand deliver most of them as we are all together over the Christmas but its still nice to have it all ready so that you can rest in the knowledge  that its all sorted.

    Tomorrow I am visiting Mum and taking the things I have bought on her behalf to show her (before I wrap those up as well!!). Also managed to get her a lovely pair of plum velvet trousers (she wanted to dress up a bit for Christmas Day). Fingers crossed I get the 'thumbs up' as I have no wish to take it back to London!!!

    Take care of yourself and sending you virtual hugs. Jules x

  • Hi Annabel,

    Thanks for your reply. It was a picture frame in a timber called Afromosia which is very hard. When I used to go up to The Woodworker Show It was nice to see how many ladies had taken up woodwork, until political correctness got in the way. I wouldn't say they were better at woodwork than men but they were much more adventurous in the subject matter they undertook and it paid off for several of them won awards and rightly so.

    I only live about twelve miles from Hove so when you go past Burgess Hill give us a toot.  I have just done what you have got your other half to do, and brought Christmas stuff down from the loft.

    We have a lovely lady in our wood club who is a master carver and also is brilliant at pyrograpy. She is 87 years young and still runs two carving classes per week. I have teased her about her pyrography??? in the past and she has a great sense of humour.

    I do find woodturning very relaxing and love to see something made from timber which was due to be thrown away. Most of the things I turn were bearers on the bottoms of pallets that came from Malaysia/Indonesia/Brazil. I haven't bought any timber for years, for I don't need to as friends and relatives have given me odds and ends over the years. I hope you do get a chance to have a go on your lath sometime for I feel you would get a lot of enjoyment out of it.

    Just a word of warning, despite trying differnt clothingover the years, woodshaving have a habit of getting in places which you cant scratch in public, if you take my meaning

    Anyway, I have rambled on too long again, do take care and hope you enjoy your trip. Best wishes to you and your family, Brian.

Reply
  • Hi Annabel,

    Thanks for your reply. It was a picture frame in a timber called Afromosia which is very hard. When I used to go up to The Woodworker Show It was nice to see how many ladies had taken up woodwork, until political correctness got in the way. I wouldn't say they were better at woodwork than men but they were much more adventurous in the subject matter they undertook and it paid off for several of them won awards and rightly so.

    I only live about twelve miles from Hove so when you go past Burgess Hill give us a toot.  I have just done what you have got your other half to do, and brought Christmas stuff down from the loft.

    We have a lovely lady in our wood club who is a master carver and also is brilliant at pyrograpy. She is 87 years young and still runs two carving classes per week. I have teased her about her pyrography??? in the past and she has a great sense of humour.

    I do find woodturning very relaxing and love to see something made from timber which was due to be thrown away. Most of the things I turn were bearers on the bottoms of pallets that came from Malaysia/Indonesia/Brazil. I haven't bought any timber for years, for I don't need to as friends and relatives have given me odds and ends over the years. I hope you do get a chance to have a go on your lath sometime for I feel you would get a lot of enjoyment out of it.

    Just a word of warning, despite trying differnt clothingover the years, woodshaving have a habit of getting in places which you cant scratch in public, if you take my meaning

    Anyway, I have rambled on too long again, do take care and hope you enjoy your trip. Best wishes to you and your family, Brian.

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