Morning Jules,

Was just wondering how you got on when you visited your Mum this week, and also how your daughter got on at hospital?  I do hope things are not too stressful for you and that you can try and have a relaxing weekend.

I'm waiting for my eldest to come home, he has spent somewhat of Freshers sleeping on fellow pupils floors after social events - latest was a toga party last night!  I'm off to my counsellor this morning, had originally been thinking I wouldn't need to see her for too much longer but have been so emotional this week so will talk things over with her.

The weather is forecast to be nice this weekend but is looking a bit gloomy at present.  Here's hoping it brightens up and the sun shines on us all.  Take care  Hope x

Hi Hope

Hope you visit to the counsellor was helpful and its good for you to be able to talk things through and this should last as long as you need it.

I have just returned from visiting Mum and she was ok though I am sure a little concerned at how long she will be able to stay where she.  She has amazed the staff at how forthright she was when social worker 'interviewed' her and they are left in no doubt as to what she wants. All the care staff came to see me whilst I was visiting to make sure I was okay too - very sweet.  I stayed until she was due to go into lunch and we even managed a bit of a laugh when I showed her latest photos of her great grandson.  He has really enjoyed his first week in Reception and keeps telling his mum that his teacher is the most beautiful one in the school!!

Hubby and I picked him up from school on Friday as my daughter had to return to hospital for a second day of tests and monitoring.  Specialist blood tests with regard to her liver function have been sent off and unless she hears otherwise she returns to clinic next Friday.  The last set of bloods were borderline but all readings for the baby were good.  If the new blood tests show certain 'rises' she may have to be taken in and possibly induced (she is now 37 weeks and would probably welcome is being over and done with!!).  Anyway so far so good.  I have an overnight bag ready and waiting and she has several friends on standby to get her to the hospital if her hubby is at work.  Mind you she is still driving herself at present!!

When we met our grandson at school (its only 10mins to his home) he told Grandad that he could meet us there as it was healthier to walk!!!  My hubby's face was a picture as he drove off and I walked the little tyke home!!

Life's stresses seem to come and go but having the forum to offload certainly helped me to see things in perspective this week though I think my mood swings are more due to hormones than current circumstances.

Sounds like your eldest having a great time during Freshers but will no doubt be looking forward to some home cooking.  Have a great weekend with the family and will catch up again soon.  All the best and look after yourself. Jules xx

Hi  Hope

Glad you have the support of your 'men' and cannot begin to imagine how emotional the memorial service must have been for you.  Its a lovely way to celebrate your parents' lives but emotionally draining coming far too soon after your father's passing/memorial service.  You cannot rush emotional feelings nor can we necessarily control them as we would like.  They are our bodies way of giving us a release valve. Sometimes feel like I would just like to be alone in a room to scream it all out when the emotions get too much and I am not dealing with anything nearly as hard as you.  Just so glad we have this forum to escape into as sometimes just writing it down (though I feel like I am having real-time conversations) reminds me that there is a real reason why we feel so drained.  Keep sharing Hope and we can keep you company.  Take care my virtual friend.

By the way the grandchildren (and my daughter) doing pretty well.  Eldest is doing well with his early home reading books and loves to  learn the  new words (we did his 'tricky' words with him on Monday as he came to tea) and also enjoying colouring a lot more though nothing will ever replace 'cars' as his main love - he never gets tired of racing them round the room.  We also played Connect 4 and tiddlywinks before they all went home to have their bedtime story with Mum and Dad.  Bbay is feeding well and though still has reflux the Health Visitor has recommended a different milk which my daughter is going to try as apparently this could mean he wont need to take the baby Gaviscon.  All  being well she is off to clinic next week to have him weighed.  My daughter is virtually back to feeling herself just needing to get a bit more energy for the longer walks she likes to do when they go to the park or woods with the children but  all in all she has picked up well.

Hubby has been given a new prescription for anti depressants and his GP has told him to get himself more  mobile whilst he has the ability to do so as sitting down all day is not the way to be!! (I would  not get away with saying it but certainly agree with her as he is able to do most things still but his ;mojo' went when his job finished.). Thankfully he puts on a different face when we have visitors.

Take care of yourself and let the family spoil you too. Sending virtual hugs for a peaceful week.  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Thanks for your lovely, kind words.  Thank goodness for this site!  I know nobody can take away the pain but it is just good to have support.  I have to remind myself that it is still early days, only 3 months tomorrow since Mum died, and I miss them so much especially this time of year. Now I am just trying to enjoy my own wonderful family and be happy for what we have.

Lovely to hear how well your grandsons are doing.  It is great that you read and play with your eldest so much, that will really help with his development at school.  Only too often we see secondary children struggling to read who have not been reading enough through primary.  I hope hubby's new prescription will see him improve his mood, very difficult for him and you.   I guess they will take a couple of weeks to work, but hopefully they will kick in and help to make him more upbeat by Christmas.  I'm sure the "little ones" will be the best drug, they can surely lift spirits better than any pill.  Take care and have a good weekend.  Hope xx

Hi Jules,

Thanks for your kind words. So pleased you had a good time with your mother, it must make a lot of difference.  It's good your gp has told your husband to get mobile for he will probably take more notice than if you had said it. It must be hard for him not being able to work and that he feels such a lack of incentive, but it's also even harder for you as you feel unable to help. I am pleased your daughter understands your situation and is such a support to you.

I have just got back from seeing my gp. My psa had gone up from 0.01 to 0.23 over the last six months. He read the letter out to me which he had received from the consultant at the hospital saying it would increase as the hormone flushes out of my system. He has told me he will arrange the next psa test for four months time so that he can monitor it.  I also wanted to see him as my left breast has been a little tender for the past couple of weeks. This is yet another side effect of the hormone therapy but I have been surprised it has taken this long to show up. But he explained it may be that  it is as a result of interaction with a tablet I have to take so no worries.

Hope you enjoy your son's visit and that you enjoy your trip to London with your friend. You fully deserve a little me time.

Jules, you never ramble and I always enjoy reading your posts for they are always well written

Do take care, and I have no doubt we will talk again soon. Best wishes to you and your family, Brian..

Hi Brian, Jules and Hope

Hope all is well with you.

Hope I noticed you attended the Hospice Memorial Service on Sunday.  I am sure it was a very emotional time for you all especially at this time of year.  I now have a chesty cough that I cannot get rid of.

Taking strong cough medicine and my honey and lemon as prescribed by my GP a few years ago when I lost my voice but to no avail.

Brian I read that Mrs B had a diabetic turn.  Hope she is keeping OK and is back on her feet very soon again looking after that man in her life.

Jules hope you too are keeping well and hubby and baby and the rest too.  Is the birthday party this weekend or next I can't remember?  My hubby wants me to go shopping this Saturday in the city centre.  I prefer to go on my own as I enjoy my own company.  I told him wait and see how I feel when the time comes but I probably will end up having to go with him.

Well take care everyone and chat soon

Mickied

Hi Mickied,

Sorry to hear that you have the dreaded chesty cough, I do hope it doesn't linger like my bug did a few weeks back.  Coughs seem to go on for a while and then just go without us really noticing, but they are such a pain at night keeping you awake aren't they?

Yes the memorial service was very emotional and I've been a bit emotional since; this time of year doesn't help as well as the dismal weather and the early darkness this time of year.  Still, have to try and remember all the positives in our lives eh!  Hope all is OK with you.  Wishing you a nice weekend and happy shopping on Saturday.  Hope xx

Hi Hope,

I gather you found things rather emotional this last week.

Although you found yourself to be emotional I bet you are glad you had the service.

I hope you had a lovely day meeting up with your friends, sometimes it helps us to get out of ourselves and gives a little relief.

I had a good day on Tuesday taking 3 friends shopping where they had not been before and apart from losing Jenny for a little while all was good fun.

For me it was good to go somewhere else and get away, as well as the shopping.

I hope you are looking after yourself Hope,  you have been through so much this year.

Take care

Annabel. xx

Hi Annabel,

Thank you for your kind post.  Yes I have been emotional this week, I guess it is combination of the service, time of year etc.  I still got out with friends which was nice, it does help to temporarily take away the grief if only for a short while.  Glad you had a good shopping trip, hope you managed to treat yourself to something nice.  Take care.  Hope xx

Jules, Good morning, hope you are OK?  Hope xx

Hi Hope

Thanks for the reply.  You are right about this time of year.  I felt the same way this time last year with a chest infection the week before my father-in-law passed away.

His first anniversary is next Wednesday and you start to relive what happened back then.  My husband seems to be coping OK until next week that is because he was at the hospital with him shortly before he died.

I wish you too a nice weekend and chat soon

Mickied

Hi Brian

Pleased to read that your gp was able to put your  mind at rest with regards  your psa results as well as the side effects you are getting being caused by interaction with other medication.  Such a fine line to keep you well but good to know your medics on top of things. Hope you wife is keeping okay at the moment.  You both must have to have eagle eyes when choosing food items.  My son's girlfriend is lactose intolerent so when they visit I do a choice of desserts so that she does not have to bring her own pud (her suggestion was to bring the dessert with her to save any trouble) but these days there is always a viable alternative (once I found the correct aisle to look down.

My son popped in for a few hours and was still here when I got in from work so we caught up on all his news and was able to give him our gift for his other half's birthday. He begins his new  job as an adminstration/marketing assistant to a Research Professor  at Brunel Uni on Monday and is really looking forward to the challenges it will bring.  Also pleased to be going back to mon to fri working after several years doing shifts.

Hubby has picked up new anti depressant medication today so will see how that works out.  He had a call from his old employers today with a query for him to look at for them so for a little while had something to keep him occupied.   Tonight we are  both out as is usual on a Friday and then tomorrow my sister in law is visiting for dinner so have done all the preparation in advance so I can have a sit down tomorrow morning.

Hope you enjoyed your time with the grandchildren (think you changed it to yesterday because of school event) and no doubt your cheeky grandson was on good form.  When my hubby picked up our eldest grandson from school on Monday he was apparently letting him know when there was no traffic coming whilst they were waiting at the junction to the main road just in case his grandad did not notice there was a big red bus coming!!!

After a very frustrating day at work yesterday (lack of staffing main issue which led to so much pressure I felt really stressed) was pleased to get away and had to have a small chocolate bar to help me get me smiling again in time to get home.  Hey ho.

Hope you and your wife have a peaceful and happy weekend.  Take care  Jules x

Hi Hope

Am sure you are still feeling pretty emotionally drained so do try and get some R&R over the weekend.  Sometimes its hard to accept that we need that family support when we like to 'manage' it all ourselves ( is that something that comes from being 'an only child' with no siblings to share things with I wonder.?)

I had one of those stressful days at work (not enough staff, not enough hours in the day) and in the end my emotions got the better of me and I had to have a 10min time out to get myself together.  Has not happened for a little while but I know its my body's way of telling me its all getting a bit on top of me.  Lucky my workmates can read me all too well and I was able to chat it through and  was feeling a bit more like myself by the time I left work (despite being a bit red-eyed!!).  Any how comforted myself with a chocolate bar on the tube on the journey home and gave myself a silent talking to so today is a slightly less frustrating day.

Hubby has a new prescription for anti depressants and the GP wants to see him in a month to see if they are helping him cope with not having work in his life.  Its very hard for him being at home 24/7 even though he is still  mobile and can drive, has no interests/hobbies that were home based (sea fishing was his relaxation holiday!!). Huge adjustments required for both of us and think hes finding it difficult that I am coping (as far as he is concerned).  Thankfully, like you, we have close family support.

Have a peaceful weekend and chat again soon.  Virtual hugs  Jules xx

Hi Hope

Am sure you are still feeling pretty emotionally drained so do try and get some R&R over the weekend.  Sometimes its hard to accept that we need that family support when we like to 'manage' it all ourselves ( is that something that comes from being 'an only child' with no siblings to share things with I wonder.?)

I had one of those stressful days at work (not enough staff, not enough hours in the day) and in the end my emotions got the better of me and I had to have a 10min time out to get myself together.  Has not happened for a little while but I know its my body's way of telling me its all getting a bit on top of me.  Lucky my workmates can read me all too well and I was able to chat it through and  was feeling a bit more like myself by the time I left work (despite being a bit red-eyed!!).  Any how comforted myself with a chocolate bar on the tube on the journey home and gave myself a silent talking to so today is a slightly less frustrating day.

Hubby has a new prescription for anti depressants and the GP wants to see him in a month to see if they are helping him cope with not having work in his life.  Its very hard for him being at home 24/7 even though he is still  mobile and can drive, has no interests/hobbies that were home based (sea fishing was his relaxation holiday!!). Huge adjustments required for both of us and think hes finding it difficult that I am coping (as far as he is concerned).  Thankfully, like you, we have close family support.

Have a peaceful weekend and chat again soon.  Virtual hugs  Jules xx

Hi Jules,

Hope you are having a nice weekend after your stressful week at work.  So strange how our emotions just hit us like that, but good to get it all out with a cry.  Glad to hear that you also comforted yourself if the best way, chocolate always does the trick!  After an emotional weekend myself I am feeling somewhat better today; when that happens I tend to think things are going forward but I know that the emotions will come flooding back at any random point, so just making the most of today.  Eldest home and says exams went OK.  Enjoy your weekend.  Hope x