Morning Jules,

Was just wondering how you got on when you visited your Mum this week, and also how your daughter got on at hospital?  I do hope things are not too stressful for you and that you can try and have a relaxing weekend.

I'm waiting for my eldest to come home, he has spent somewhat of Freshers sleeping on fellow pupils floors after social events - latest was a toga party last night!  I'm off to my counsellor this morning, had originally been thinking I wouldn't need to see her for too much longer but have been so emotional this week so will talk things over with her.

The weather is forecast to be nice this weekend but is looking a bit gloomy at present.  Here's hoping it brightens up and the sun shines on us all.  Take care  Hope x

Hi Hope

Hope you visit to the counsellor was helpful and its good for you to be able to talk things through and this should last as long as you need it.

I have just returned from visiting Mum and she was ok though I am sure a little concerned at how long she will be able to stay where she.  She has amazed the staff at how forthright she was when social worker 'interviewed' her and they are left in no doubt as to what she wants. All the care staff came to see me whilst I was visiting to make sure I was okay too - very sweet.  I stayed until she was due to go into lunch and we even managed a bit of a laugh when I showed her latest photos of her great grandson.  He has really enjoyed his first week in Reception and keeps telling his mum that his teacher is the most beautiful one in the school!!

Hubby and I picked him up from school on Friday as my daughter had to return to hospital for a second day of tests and monitoring.  Specialist blood tests with regard to her liver function have been sent off and unless she hears otherwise she returns to clinic next Friday.  The last set of bloods were borderline but all readings for the baby were good.  If the new blood tests show certain 'rises' she may have to be taken in and possibly induced (she is now 37 weeks and would probably welcome is being over and done with!!).  Anyway so far so good.  I have an overnight bag ready and waiting and she has several friends on standby to get her to the hospital if her hubby is at work.  Mind you she is still driving herself at present!!

When we met our grandson at school (its only 10mins to his home) he told Grandad that he could meet us there as it was healthier to walk!!!  My hubby's face was a picture as he drove off and I walked the little tyke home!!

Life's stresses seem to come and go but having the forum to offload certainly helped me to see things in perspective this week though I think my mood swings are more due to hormones than current circumstances.

Sounds like your eldest having a great time during Freshers but will no doubt be looking forward to some home cooking.  Have a great weekend with the family and will catch up again soon.  All the best and look after yourself. Jules xx

Thats beautiful Brian. After Jules mentioned them the other morning I saw loads of them in the long grass on the common just outside our gate. I wonder if I would have noticed them if I hadn't seen Jules's post??

I hope you and your wife are well Brian. All is well here, am about to get on the train to London tomorrow to visit the newest member of the family. Very excited. Have a good weekend.

best

Annabel. xx

Hi Jules,

I have been catching up with the news in your family, especially about your Mum. She sounds quite a character.

Your daughter will be getting to the stage when she will be glad to have the baby and get her body back. I remember that stage of pregnancy, I felt like a beached whale. !!!!!!

I am so glad to  the grandson is enjoying school and keeping you young!!! I look forward to all of that with little Ava.

Off to London tomorrow for a few days. Unfortuneately I have to return Thursday for a doctors appointment on Friday.

It will be lovely to see my daughter and son in law as well.

Hope you've had a good weekend

best

Annabel. xx

Hi Jules,

I guess you are probably feeling tired now what with your early start - I'm envious that you got all your housework done, mine is still waiting!  I've been to football which took up a lot of the day, then over to the house for more clearing.  There is so much to do it feels like it's going on forever, still I think we are slowly getting there.  It's always a bit upsetting going through things, but I'm trying to focus on the good memories now.

Like you I always like a noisy house, and used to love my sons friends coming over to play when they were little.  Nowadays with the addition of X Box everyone seems to stay in their own houses and play on-line!  Well it will soon be October so not long until your new bundle arrives, bet you can't wait!  Have a good week and hope all continues OK with your Mum.  Hope  xx

Morning Hope

.

Well made it through to about late afternoon before I had a power nap!!  Had a pretty quiet day which has helped though I did manage to do a bit in the garden and also took myself for a leisurely afternoon walk (not one who can sit around all day and it was a beautiful day).  Hubby spent much of the day dozing (probably due to be able to relax as we had no visitors) or watching me do the housework (something I am having to get used to!! ).

Certainly clearing the house is not easy task physically let alone mentally.  Helped with my mother in laws many years ago and that was difficult.  When my Mum  moved into care we cleared the flat but I still have around six large boxes of her bits and pieces sitting in our spare room as it does not feel right to do anything with them whilst she is still with us even though she does not want  it. (Also if she does have to move again in the future she would have to completely re-furnish as the sheltered housing situation would be unfurnished - though trying not to dwell on that though now!!).

Bet your son was happy to have your support as he started with the new football team and its not something I relate too as my son preferred cricket and never really became interested in footie so I have never stood and watched a whole match!!!  No one in our family ever really been into football so maybe that explains it. I love to watch other sports on the tv and hubby used to race cars (pre children) so would spend a lot of our 'date' at race meets (750 club class) - those were the days.  Still love to watch cricket which I used to go to with my Dad from a very early age and also tennis.  Was never sporty myself other than having to join in at school but have always done a lot of walking.  Both my parents loved to walk (and did not drive) and we spent many an hour at weekends walking on the Heath.

Well I am thinking I had best clear up my breakfast washing up as otherwise it will be waiting for me when I get in from work .  Have a good week. Chat soon. Jules xx

Afternoon Jules,  Hope you've had a good day.  I've been feeling a bit down today for no apparent reason (well other than the obvious); just part of the journey I'm on I guess.  Still the sun is shining now and I've finished work so not all bad!

Can relate to watching cricket, youngest also played cricket for several years, so just when the football season finished I'd be out again all Summer watching cricket!  Can't say I ever really understood it, but had some pleasant days drinking and chatting on the pavillion!  He gave it up a few years back now so at least I have the weekends to myself during the Summer now.

Off to make dinner now and take some relaxing time for myself tonight as hubby working late. Have a good evening.  Hope x

Hi Hope,

Maybe you feeling a little better today.  Think Monday's are often a 'low' day as at the weekend we have family around us and enjoy the feeling  of being needed/supported.  Then the weekday comes and its off to work and we have to make an effort to be in control (pushing our own feelings down to be able to cope).  I am having a lazy morning as this is a non work day and later today we are picking up our grandson with our daughter (so we find out where his new classroom is) as he is now doing full hours (and still loving it thankfully).  We are going through the strange transition of hubby being at home all day (hard for him I know) following early retirement being mutually agreed last week.(the travelling was getting too much and physically he knew the time was right).  Sadly there is not much he can do without getting breathless and he spends his day sitting in the chair and I am learning to have to work round him (very strange). I dont think even I realised how much working meant to him as he is now like a child who has lost his favourite toy and think he is now very sad and feels he has no purpose.  Me and the kids are doing our best to get him as involved as he can be in 'our world' as we want him to have a good life whilst he is still able but this is clearly difficult for him.  His next routine appointment is at the end of the month but other than that we are trying to focus on the forthcoming new grandchild as a positive and making memories with the family.    He has just reminded me that his prescription will be ready for collection today so will see to that later.  For now I hear that the weather is going to be warmer later so a bit more gardening seems in order.

Love the way you are supporting so many others on this site Hope and feel your own experiences will help them with their understanding that we are never alone when forums such as this exist.

Take care Jules xx

Good morning Jules, Hope & Annebel,

The day has started very well for me. I took my wife shopping at Mr Tesco's this morning and I am very surprised you didn't hear my shout of joy. I was looking round the greengrocery department and found they had new seasons Chestnuts in stock. They only had 4 bags left but not any more for I scooped them up and dumped them in our trolley as quick as lightning. When we got to the checkout, my dear wife  gave the cashier chapter and verse what a nutty husband she has. I cant disagree with her very well can I ??????????????.

Jules, I hope you are keeping well. I forgot to mention that you have now been a very valued member on this site for over a year now and just wanted to say thank you for the support you have given both to me and many many others during that time. Your well chosen words of comfort and understanding are I know appreciated by so many people on here. I only found this forum by chance, read a few post and have been hooked ever since and during my time have made the acquaintance of so many lovely caring people.  With regard to your husbands retirement Jules, I have just looked up engineering forums and found at least six of them. One of them give the chance to comment about recent developments ect, and just wondered if this might be of interest to your husband. I just typed in engineering forums. Just a thought anyway.

Hope, Like Jules I hope you are feeling better today and also the way you respond to so many others on here. I just love this forum and they way everyone uses their own experiance to help others.

Annebel, I hope you have a great trip and enjoy seeing the new addition to your family.

Ladies please take care and will talk again soon, Brian

Morning Brian

Thank you so much for your lovely words and do you know I  had not even realised how long I had been posting!!  Sometimes wonder where the time goes and I am very grateful to have had this forum to help me through the good and the bad times.  Its amazing that you never have to feel isolated and even though everyones journey is very personal we also know that being understood is a really big support so I too would like to thank all that read these threads as well as those that respond.

Thanks for mentioning the engineering forums and will pass this on (when the mood is right). Funnily enough my first thought was as he has such a great engineering brain he could think of approaching old contacts and offer himself as a consultant.  This was something he would have loved to have done when he was originally made redundant from a previous employer but then he was 'head-hunted' and the rest is, as they say, history.  On the other hand its really up to him as to how he feels and I will just have to follow his lead (conversation still sadly lacking and I dont think that I can teach the old dog new tricks as even his siblings are this way).  He has just told me that our son is visiting tomorrow (apparently he rang yesterday!!), shame I will miss seeing him as I am at work but great that hubby can catch up with his news and if I ask enough questions when I get home I can catch up too!!

As I type this I am imagining you sitting with a bowl of chestnuts for company and can now assume that supermarket shopping will be a happy necessity for a few weeks to come.  My hubby likes fresh chestnuts so will keep my eyes peeled. Enjoy.

Have a good day.  Jules xx

Afternoon Jules,  Sorry to hear your hubby is feeling sad, it must be very hard to adjust to being forced to retire.  As much as we all moan about work it does sort of give us a purpose and it must be difficult for him if he is unable to do all the things he'd like to.  Not to forget you of course, it is difficult for you to adjust to and watch too, so it's good to read that you still seem to remain upbeat.  Your grandson (and forthcoming grandchild) will no doubt make you both smile, as children always have the ability to lift spirits.

I am feeling a bit better today, that's just how it goes, OK one minute down the next - I never knew I had so many emotions!  Of course I expect menopause also has it's part to play on top of the grief.  Anyway I am off to the gym in a minute, I used to go virtually everyday but the past months have seen me going less - firstly because I didn't  have time with all that was going on and more recently because I haven't felt the same inspiration to go that I used to.  However, exercise has a fantastic way of making us feel better, I used to always say it was part of my everyday routine just like taking a bath and I didn't feel right if I didn't go, so now I'm determined to get back to it more regularly.  Hope you've had a good day off, enjoy your evening.  Hope x

Hi Hope

Well, we spent an hour with my daughter and then went with her to pick up our grandson so that we know where to go when called on!!!  Hubby came too and we did a slow walk (5 mins walk from home to school normally for my daughter but as she has only just over a week to due date her pace really suited hubby!!) of around 15mins and must say if felt very strange for me being back in the playground surrounded with loads of parents and children as we waited for the classroom doors to be opened. Just time for a drink and fruit for our grandson before we left to come home and he was off to tennis (one of the dad's runs it once a week at a nearby court) - just wish I had his energy.  We came home, had dinner and having taken his usual cocktail of drugs hubby dozed for a bit and then we watched tv.   A pretty restful evening and I even managed 5hrs straight sleep last night.  Into work today so have to switch my head 'off home' to cope - sure y ou know that feeling.

Take care and hope you have a good day. Jules x

Hi Hope

Well, we spent an hour with my daughter and then went with her to pick up our grandson so that we know where to go when called on!!!  Hubby came too and we did a slow walk (5 mins walk from home to school normally for my daughter but as she has only just over a week to due date her pace really suited hubby!!) of around 15mins and must say if felt very strange for me being back in the playground surrounded with loads of parents and children as we waited for the classroom doors to be opened. Just time for a drink and fruit for our grandson before we left to come home and he was off to tennis (one of the dad's runs it once a week at a nearby court) - just wish I had his energy.  We came home, had dinner and having taken his usual cocktail of drugs hubby dozed for a bit and then we watched tv.   A pretty restful evening and I even managed 5hrs straight sleep last night.  Into work today so have to switch my head 'off home' to cope - sure y ou know that feeling.

Take care and hope you have a good day. Jules x

Hi Everyone

I haven't been on here for a few weeks now and then discovered this morning my uncle died this morning from cancer.  He was diagnosed back in the summer.  A funny thing happened this morning I kept thinking about one of my cousins who I haven't seen in a while before I heard the news.  I expect the funeral to be this Friday or Saturday.

Jules I read your story about your mum's situation.  Not a bit of wonder you were exhausted and frustrated due to everything going on at present.  You really are a tower of strength for everyone in your family and you are always prepared to put everyone else first.  It can't be long now until the new addition arrives.  I am sure you can't wait.  Is your daughter keeping OK.

How is your wee grandson getting on a school?  Has he settled in well?

Well nothing else to report for now just hope that everyone else is keeping well.

Take care Jules and chat soon

Mickied

Hi Jules, Brian & Mickied,

Just want to start by saying Mickied I am so sorry to read about your Uncle, I hope and pray that someday we will find a cure for this terrible disease that claims the lives of so many and affects their families so deeply.  Thinking of you.

Brian, thanks for your kind words - this site really seems to help and I'm feeling a bit better the past few days.

Jules, Hope you haven't worked too hard today.  So lovely that you (and now hubby) spend such quality time with your grandson, sounds like he really is enjoying school.  I caught up with a friend for lunch today (day off) which was nice.  Also touched base with the law firm who are sorting out probate - seems that I completed all the forms completely correctly (miracle!) but they are now waiting for the original will which is with another solicitor.  Everything takes so long; as an ex secretary myself I can't believe people in offices are so disorganised today, and that they can't sort out basic paperwork quickly!  Anyway I will leave it up to them now and let things take their time.  Have a good evening.  Hope x

Hi Mickied

Lovely to hear from you and thanks for your supportive words as usual.

  So sorry to read of yet another loss in your family to cancer - sometimes you wonder when the next bit of good news will come for the family. It seems to hit you like a brick wall and just as you are pulling yourself up again you get knocked back.  Its such a rollercoaster of emotional turmoil and yet here we all are chatting and somehow coping - this forum is just an awesome source of support.  Do hope all goes as well as it can for the funeral. Come and chat whenever you need to bend someone's ear - you have been so supportive to others and we can return the favour anytime.

My daughter is doing well at the moment (just over a week to due date) and our grandson has settled well into his new school class, loves his teacher and though a bit tired (for about an hour after he gets home) is no problem getting him to go.  We went with our daughter yesterday to see where his new classroom is as it will be us picking him up when daughter first has the new addition.  Next hospital check up one day before due date unless something happens beforehand.  Fingers crossed and yes it will be very exciting.

Hubby has now taken early retirement and so is pretty miserable at present and probably needs time to re-adjust. Am taking it day at a time but he needs a little help now and spends most of his time watching tv or sleeping. I am still doing part time at the moment and we shall have to see how his illness progresses as to if and when I need to be at home.  Will cross that bridge as and when necessary. Am refusing to worry about it until it becomes neccessary.  He can still drive short distances and also walk slowly but the motivation is difficult so its easy does it. Our son visited today and he always perks up when the kids pop in.  We are so very lucky to have them fairly close by but want them to live their own lives too.  We are all 'talking Christmas' at present and trying to sort out Christmas ideas/shopping. Before that we have our grandson's 5th birthday at end of November and the thought of 30 kids in a hall is pretty daunting but my son in law is absolutely brilliant and loves children so am sure it will go very well. I am going along as a 'pair of arms' for the 'newbie' all being well so that my grandson has his special day.  Best laid plans............

Sending virtual hugs and best wishes   Jules xx

Hi Hope,

Quite a coincidence, I was a secretary in a former life (pre children so a good few years ago).  How we managed to be so organised (and little technology) seems amazing now but if anything we appear to have gone backwords with all the form filling and waiting around.  Hope you can get things sorted re probate soon but these things seem to have a pace all of their own!!

Work was busy but no complaints; it makes the time go quickly.  Our store is set over two floors so have been up and down all day moving stock (~kids annuals mainly) into thier new Christmas layout - amazing how many different titles there are.  Was certainly  giving me plenty of exercise (so was quite hungry when I left).  Managed to last till I got home at 2.45 and had a very large banana and a yoghurt!!  My son had popped in as it was a day off for him and we chatted gardens/wildlife and he has made a great pond which we saw the new pictures off.  When he left he was off to the garden centre to buy some trellis as he wants climbing plants to cover the small brick outbuilding(shed to you and  me!!).and has decided that maybe sweet peas might do the job!

Hubby promptly dropped off to sleep as soon as our son left so dinner will be a little delayed as he usually sleeps for around an hour or so and would rather he woke naturally.  Well thats today sorted and as they say tomorrow is another day.  Take care, chat soon. Jules xx

Morning Jules,

Seems like we have quite a lot in common other than just our experiences that brought us to this site - only children, work etc!  Talking of work I expect you will be getting busy now, Christmas shoppers seem to start earlier and earlier every year.  I'm not bothering too much this year, intend to have a low key Christmas after all that's happened.

Well latest news is that eldest has got halls at Uni; didn't get them automatically hence the commuting which has been fine. However he has decided to take them to gain the whole Uni experience of being away and with friends etc, (will probably commute other years anyway especially clinicals).  So looks like he'll probably move in at the weekend.  I'm OK about it as he will be home every weekend (with his washing!) and I can always go up to London on my days off sometimes.  I think my youngest will probably miss him, especially when he needs help with his A levels!  Anyway may not log on for a few days as likely to be busy.  Have a good weekend and speak again soon.  Hope x

Hi Hope

Thank you for your words of support as always.  How have you been coping lately yourself and how is being back to work going.  The funeral is tomorrow so I have booked a half day off to attend.

We didn't see much of him but in the end he is still my father's brother.

I know all about office work Hope because I work in a solicitors office and have done so for the last 21 years.  Some probates can take some time to be sorted and you are completely right about the forms that have to be completed.  I take it the law firm has requested the original will from the other firm.  I know from experience here in N. Ireland that if someone requests a document relating to another person a certain procedure has to be followed through before the document can be released.  It has all to do with the new Data Protection Scheme but let's hope you don't have much longer to wait.

Take care and chat soon

Mickied

Hi Jules

Yes the funeral is tomorrow so I have booked a half day off to attend and then back to work.  Sometimes you wonder how you cope Jules but somehow we always manage to.

Everyone used to say this uncle was my father's double whereby I could never see the resemblance but maybe when I go to the house this evening I may notice how much they looked alike.

He was 71 a year older than my father.  Thank you for the invitation to "bend" someone's ear mainly yours because you have been a tower of strength to others on this forum me included.

Jules the other night I had a dream about my birth aunt.  I saw her clearly and I asked if everything was OK.  She told me the reason she hadn't been in touch was because her two nieces had only had two babies and no mention of her husband or daughter.  I see her other daughter still posts on FB as I was checking her profile for any clues about her sister but nothing.

It will fly in Jules for the rest of you but not for your poor daughter.  Glad to see your little grandson settled into school.  Sometimes they surprise you.  Our Sarah was off school on Monday for teacher training day and she will be off again at the end of this month for Halloween.

How is retirement going for your hubby.  I know you said he always enjoyed his work but had cut it down to a few days a week.  You are right about waiting until the time arrives when you are needed much more at home and let's hope it is a long time off Jules.  My father-in-law used to always perk up too whenever he saw my kids and used to keep the both of them going.

Our Sarah still mentions that she misses her granda every so often and sometimes it sets me off too.  I can get so emotional sometimes Jules it is unbelievable.

We had our Sarah's 6th birthday at the weekend and invited three of her friends to a kids play centre.  The food was awful and the kids didn't eat it but enjoyed the rest of the day then they all went back to my house and up to her room.  About half an hour later she came down and said she wanted to put on her pyjamas because she had saw enough of her friends and wanted them to go home.

She wouldn't even go with her dad to drop them off home.  About an hour later she was fast asleep.

Well nothing else to report for now.  Take care and take it easy

Mickied

Hi Mickied, Thanks for replying to me individually.  I really hope the funeral goes as best as it can tomorrow, will be thinking of you

As for me I am coping the best I can, I think I'm doing OK but as you know emotions creep up on us out of nowhere at any time!  I guess I wouldn't be human if I didn't feel the way I do after losing both parents, especially so quickly and close together.  The paperwork seems to really get to me, I think it is because it is something out of my control and I am a very "in control" sort of person.  Yes it is the law firm I'm using that has requested the original Will from the other firm; thanks for your advice speaking from experience of working at a solicitors, I just have to leave things in their capable hands and let things take their course - easier said than done for somebody as impatient as me!  For some reason I think I'll feel better when all the estate is sorted out legally but in truth I probably won't feel a lot different

Anyway best wishes for tomorrow and let us know how it goes.  Hope x

Hi Hope

No need to thank me.  I really feel for you losing your parents in such a short space of time.  The same happened to my father's brother and his wife.  He died in April that year and his wife died in July 3 months apart.  I remember someone saying to his daughters they didn't get much time to grieve for their father and then to lose their mother.

You don't need to talk about being impatient Hope.  I must be the worst impatient person known.  Sometimes I wish I was more laid back like the rest of my family and let things take their course.

You are right about feeling you are coping well one moment and then the next you feel you are about to have a nervous breakdown.

A few weeks ago I was going through my telephone calls in work and came across the date my father-in-law died and I got a bit emotional as that date brought it all back what happened.

Dreading tomorrow but these things have to be done.

Take care and chat soon

Mickied

Hi Hope

I am sure your eldest will enjoy being in Halls and its where many friendships can be made.  My son did Halls first year and then moved into a house share.   He also held a part time job for some of the time he was away.  He came home during the holidays and we visited on his 21st!! but other than that he looked after himself extremely well, coming home able to cook and budget which would never have happened so well at home!! (and I did not get involved in washing etc as he was too far away and they had all amenities on campus.)  I think my daughter (older) missed him a bit but also relished not being constantly badgered when she had her friends in!!  He came home at the end of his three years very well rounded and stayed home until he was able to move into a flat share (about 6 months later).  My daughter moved out at aged 21 to live with her then boyfriend (now husband).Both have stayed close by and with modern technology its a lot easier these days.  In fact I used to joke that Iheard more from the children than I did from my husband when he was away working.

Yes work very busy and never enough hands but its only part time.  At least we get to see whats on offer and can do our own Christmas shopping.  I am late this year - normally start in the summer months and as a family we have quite a low budget per adult, preferring to spend Christmas Day together (usually 8-10 of us) relaxing and sharing the chores and food bill.  Has worked this way for many years and our children have carried it on, taking it in turns to visit respective parents/aunt and uncle on both sides and sometime enjoying their own.  This year we are at my husband's sister for 3 days  (she loves to cook!!) and no doubt it will be mayhem with the addition of the grandchildren and 2 dogs but would not miss is it for the world.

Dont wear yourself out this weekend but do enjoy the family time.  Take care. Jules