Hi Hope,

Maybe you feeling a little better today.  Think Monday's are often a 'low' day as at the weekend we have family around us and enjoy the feeling  of being needed/supported.  Then the weekday comes and its off to work and we have to make an effort to be in control (pushing our own feelings down to be able to cope).  I am having a lazy morning as this is a non work day and later today we are picking up our grandson with our daughter (so we find out where his new classroom is) as he is now doing full hours (and still loving it thankfully).  We are going through the strange transition of hubby being at home all day (hard for him I know) following early retirement being mutually agreed last week.(the travelling was getting too much and physically he knew the time was right).  Sadly there is not much he can do without getting breathless and he spends his day sitting in the chair and I am learning to have to work round him (very strange). I dont think even I realised how much working meant to him as he is now like a child who has lost his favourite toy and think he is now very sad and feels he has no purpose.  Me and the kids are doing our best to get him as involved as he can be in 'our world' as we want him to have a good life whilst he is still able but this is clearly difficult for him.  His next routine appointment is at the end of the month but other than that we are trying to focus on the forthcoming new grandchild as a positive and making memories with the family.    He has just reminded me that his prescription will be ready for collection today so will see to that later.  For now I hear that the weather is going to be warmer later so a bit more gardening seems in order.

Love the way you are supporting so many others on this site Hope and feel your own experiences will help them with their understanding that we are never alone when forums such as this exist.

Take care Jules xx

Morning Brian

Thank you so much for your lovely words and do you know I  had not even realised how long I had been posting!!  Sometimes wonder where the time goes and I am very grateful to have had this forum to help me through the good and the bad times.  Its amazing that you never have to feel isolated and even though everyones journey is very personal we also know that being understood is a really big support so I too would like to thank all that read these threads as well as those that respond.

Thanks for mentioning the engineering forums and will pass this on (when the mood is right). Funnily enough my first thought was as he has such a great engineering brain he could think of approaching old contacts and offer himself as a consultant.  This was something he would have loved to have done when he was originally made redundant from a previous employer but then he was 'head-hunted' and the rest is, as they say, history.  On the other hand its really up to him as to how he feels and I will just have to follow his lead (conversation still sadly lacking and I dont think that I can teach the old dog new tricks as even his siblings are this way).  He has just told me that our son is visiting tomorrow (apparently he rang yesterday!!), shame I will miss seeing him as I am at work but great that hubby can catch up with his news and if I ask enough questions when I get home I can catch up too!!

As I type this I am imagining you sitting with a bowl of chestnuts for company and can now assume that supermarket shopping will be a happy necessity for a few weeks to come.  My hubby likes fresh chestnuts so will keep my eyes peeled. Enjoy.

Have a good day.  Jules xx

Afternoon Jules,  Sorry to hear your hubby is feeling sad, it must be very hard to adjust to being forced to retire.  As much as we all moan about work it does sort of give us a purpose and it must be difficult for him if he is unable to do all the things he'd like to.  Not to forget you of course, it is difficult for you to adjust to and watch too, so it's good to read that you still seem to remain upbeat.  Your grandson (and forthcoming grandchild) will no doubt make you both smile, as children always have the ability to lift spirits.

I am feeling a bit better today, that's just how it goes, OK one minute down the next - I never knew I had so many emotions!  Of course I expect menopause also has it's part to play on top of the grief.  Anyway I am off to the gym in a minute, I used to go virtually everyday but the past months have seen me going less - firstly because I didn't  have time with all that was going on and more recently because I haven't felt the same inspiration to go that I used to.  However, exercise has a fantastic way of making us feel better, I used to always say it was part of my everyday routine just like taking a bath and I didn't feel right if I didn't go, so now I'm determined to get back to it more regularly.  Hope you've had a good day off, enjoy your evening.  Hope x

Hi Hope

Well, we spent an hour with my daughter and then went with her to pick up our grandson so that we know where to go when called on!!!  Hubby came too and we did a slow walk (5 mins walk from home to school normally for my daughter but as she has only just over a week to due date her pace really suited hubby!!) of around 15mins and must say if felt very strange for me being back in the playground surrounded with loads of parents and children as we waited for the classroom doors to be opened. Just time for a drink and fruit for our grandson before we left to come home and he was off to tennis (one of the dad's runs it once a week at a nearby court) - just wish I had his energy.  We came home, had dinner and having taken his usual cocktail of drugs hubby dozed for a bit and then we watched tv.   A pretty restful evening and I even managed 5hrs straight sleep last night.  Into work today so have to switch my head 'off home' to cope - sure y ou know that feeling.

Take care and hope you have a good day. Jules x

Hi Everyone

I haven't been on here for a few weeks now and then discovered this morning my uncle died this morning from cancer.  He was diagnosed back in the summer.  A funny thing happened this morning I kept thinking about one of my cousins who I haven't seen in a while before I heard the news.  I expect the funeral to be this Friday or Saturday.

Jules I read your story about your mum's situation.  Not a bit of wonder you were exhausted and frustrated due to everything going on at present.  You really are a tower of strength for everyone in your family and you are always prepared to put everyone else first.  It can't be long now until the new addition arrives.  I am sure you can't wait.  Is your daughter keeping OK.

How is your wee grandson getting on a school?  Has he settled in well?

Well nothing else to report for now just hope that everyone else is keeping well.

Take care Jules and chat soon

Mickied

Hi Jules, Brian & Mickied,

Just want to start by saying Mickied I am so sorry to read about your Uncle, I hope and pray that someday we will find a cure for this terrible disease that claims the lives of so many and affects their families so deeply.  Thinking of you.

Brian, thanks for your kind words - this site really seems to help and I'm feeling a bit better the past few days.

Jules, Hope you haven't worked too hard today.  So lovely that you (and now hubby) spend such quality time with your grandson, sounds like he really is enjoying school.  I caught up with a friend for lunch today (day off) which was nice.  Also touched base with the law firm who are sorting out probate - seems that I completed all the forms completely correctly (miracle!) but they are now waiting for the original will which is with another solicitor.  Everything takes so long; as an ex secretary myself I can't believe people in offices are so disorganised today, and that they can't sort out basic paperwork quickly!  Anyway I will leave it up to them now and let things take their time.  Have a good evening.  Hope x

Hi Mickied

Lovely to hear from you and thanks for your supportive words as usual.

  So sorry to read of yet another loss in your family to cancer - sometimes you wonder when the next bit of good news will come for the family. It seems to hit you like a brick wall and just as you are pulling yourself up again you get knocked back.  Its such a rollercoaster of emotional turmoil and yet here we all are chatting and somehow coping - this forum is just an awesome source of support.  Do hope all goes as well as it can for the funeral. Come and chat whenever you need to bend someone's ear - you have been so supportive to others and we can return the favour anytime.

My daughter is doing well at the moment (just over a week to due date) and our grandson has settled well into his new school class, loves his teacher and though a bit tired (for about an hour after he gets home) is no problem getting him to go.  We went with our daughter yesterday to see where his new classroom is as it will be us picking him up when daughter first has the new addition.  Next hospital check up one day before due date unless something happens beforehand.  Fingers crossed and yes it will be very exciting.

Hubby has now taken early retirement and so is pretty miserable at present and probably needs time to re-adjust. Am taking it day at a time but he needs a little help now and spends most of his time watching tv or sleeping. I am still doing part time at the moment and we shall have to see how his illness progresses as to if and when I need to be at home.  Will cross that bridge as and when necessary. Am refusing to worry about it until it becomes neccessary.  He can still drive short distances and also walk slowly but the motivation is difficult so its easy does it. Our son visited today and he always perks up when the kids pop in.  We are so very lucky to have them fairly close by but want them to live their own lives too.  We are all 'talking Christmas' at present and trying to sort out Christmas ideas/shopping. Before that we have our grandson's 5th birthday at end of November and the thought of 30 kids in a hall is pretty daunting but my son in law is absolutely brilliant and loves children so am sure it will go very well. I am going along as a 'pair of arms' for the 'newbie' all being well so that my grandson has his special day.  Best laid plans............

Sending virtual hugs and best wishes   Jules xx

Hi Hope,

Quite a coincidence, I was a secretary in a former life (pre children so a good few years ago).  How we managed to be so organised (and little technology) seems amazing now but if anything we appear to have gone backwords with all the form filling and waiting around.  Hope you can get things sorted re probate soon but these things seem to have a pace all of their own!!

Work was busy but no complaints; it makes the time go quickly.  Our store is set over two floors so have been up and down all day moving stock (~kids annuals mainly) into thier new Christmas layout - amazing how many different titles there are.  Was certainly  giving me plenty of exercise (so was quite hungry when I left).  Managed to last till I got home at 2.45 and had a very large banana and a yoghurt!!  My son had popped in as it was a day off for him and we chatted gardens/wildlife and he has made a great pond which we saw the new pictures off.  When he left he was off to the garden centre to buy some trellis as he wants climbing plants to cover the small brick outbuilding(shed to you and  me!!).and has decided that maybe sweet peas might do the job!

Hubby promptly dropped off to sleep as soon as our son left so dinner will be a little delayed as he usually sleeps for around an hour or so and would rather he woke naturally.  Well thats today sorted and as they say tomorrow is another day.  Take care, chat soon. Jules xx

Morning Jules,

Seems like we have quite a lot in common other than just our experiences that brought us to this site - only children, work etc!  Talking of work I expect you will be getting busy now, Christmas shoppers seem to start earlier and earlier every year.  I'm not bothering too much this year, intend to have a low key Christmas after all that's happened.

Well latest news is that eldest has got halls at Uni; didn't get them automatically hence the commuting which has been fine. However he has decided to take them to gain the whole Uni experience of being away and with friends etc, (will probably commute other years anyway especially clinicals).  So looks like he'll probably move in at the weekend.  I'm OK about it as he will be home every weekend (with his washing!) and I can always go up to London on my days off sometimes.  I think my youngest will probably miss him, especially when he needs help with his A levels!  Anyway may not log on for a few days as likely to be busy.  Have a good weekend and speak again soon.  Hope x