Morning Jules,

Was just wondering how you got on when you visited your Mum this week, and also how your daughter got on at hospital?  I do hope things are not too stressful for you and that you can try and have a relaxing weekend.

I'm waiting for my eldest to come home, he has spent somewhat of Freshers sleeping on fellow pupils floors after social events - latest was a toga party last night!  I'm off to my counsellor this morning, had originally been thinking I wouldn't need to see her for too much longer but have been so emotional this week so will talk things over with her.

The weather is forecast to be nice this weekend but is looking a bit gloomy at present.  Here's hoping it brightens up and the sun shines on us all.  Take care  Hope x

Hi Hope

Hope you visit to the counsellor was helpful and its good for you to be able to talk things through and this should last as long as you need it.

I have just returned from visiting Mum and she was ok though I am sure a little concerned at how long she will be able to stay where she.  She has amazed the staff at how forthright she was when social worker 'interviewed' her and they are left in no doubt as to what she wants. All the care staff came to see me whilst I was visiting to make sure I was okay too - very sweet.  I stayed until she was due to go into lunch and we even managed a bit of a laugh when I showed her latest photos of her great grandson.  He has really enjoyed his first week in Reception and keeps telling his mum that his teacher is the most beautiful one in the school!!

Hubby and I picked him up from school on Friday as my daughter had to return to hospital for a second day of tests and monitoring.  Specialist blood tests with regard to her liver function have been sent off and unless she hears otherwise she returns to clinic next Friday.  The last set of bloods were borderline but all readings for the baby were good.  If the new blood tests show certain 'rises' she may have to be taken in and possibly induced (she is now 37 weeks and would probably welcome is being over and done with!!).  Anyway so far so good.  I have an overnight bag ready and waiting and she has several friends on standby to get her to the hospital if her hubby is at work.  Mind you she is still driving herself at present!!

When we met our grandson at school (its only 10mins to his home) he told Grandad that he could meet us there as it was healthier to walk!!!  My hubby's face was a picture as he drove off and I walked the little tyke home!!

Life's stresses seem to come and go but having the forum to offload certainly helped me to see things in perspective this week though I think my mood swings are more due to hormones than current circumstances.

Sounds like your eldest having a great time during Freshers but will no doubt be looking forward to some home cooking.  Have a great weekend with the family and will catch up again soon.  All the best and look after yourself. Jules xx

Thanks for your reply Hope.  Am thinking no news is good news re Mum!!  Still hoping to go and see her tomorrow all things being considered and perhaps find out what has  been happening!!

Having got in from work and sorted our lunch feel 'naughty' just sitting and answering my mail but it feels right to have a breather and hubby is having a bit of an emotional day of his own.  Think only having been to work one day this week (the factory is quiet again at present so he is not required) gives him too much thinking time.  He has been out and reordered his repeat prescription but it must be very hard for him to adjust to not  being in work mode as he always said he would never retire but that what it feels like now!!  I now feel guilty about coming home from my shift at the store and saying I feel tired!!! but we have always been honest so when he asked how I was I told him and I dont think his current situation left him feeling very sympathetic because at least I can go to work.  Every day is a new lesson on how to be tactful (suppose I need to think before I speak).  My suggestion that if he felt bored he could do the washing up met with a very muted response!!!

Well we hope to have our  normal Friday nights out tomorrow, me to bingo and him to the pub with his mate for a couple of hours - thats our normality.

Chat soon and take good care of yourself. Jules xx

Hi Annabel

Good to hear from you but bet you cant wait to see your daughter, son in law and little Ava.  You will be in granny mode or are you being called nanny?  I am constantly thinking the phone is going to ring even though my daughter still has two weeks till her due date (you know how quickly that can change!!).  Have to say it does not matter how  down you  may feel, children in general can just make you smile by what they do and say - an experience you have to look forward to with Ava I am sure.  Hope all the family are keeping well and I will look forward to hearing all about it when you get back from your visit.  They say a change is as good as a rest but I suspect you will need another rest when you come home.

Daughter is having specialist midwife team appointment tomorrow so they can do more specialised check up instead of standard clinic today.  She says it makes her feel more relaxed knowing she is in such good hands and of course the grandparents are on hand to do the school pick up tomorrow which helps her enormously as she can relax at the hospital and not worry if timings over-run.

Am hoping, if all is well during the day, that we will get out for our Friday night with friends, me at the bingo as usual and the other half down the pub for a wee dram with his mate.

Hubby currently trying to come to terms with not being needed at work so much (busy last week 4 days, this week only 1!!) and know this is a very big problem for him as he has always been a workaholic and he is now struggling a bit with the concept of being at home more than at work.  However, when I suggested he could always do the easier household jobs like the washing up he was not amused.  Though he has suggested he could 'run me about' tomorrow if needed, bless him.

Take care,  Jules xx

Hi Brian

Thanks for you kind words once again.  You talk of changing your profile picture - never mind a squirrel, how about  just 'NUTS'.  Great that you and your wife were able to get  out to the farm shop. IT has been a lovely day here again and would imagine a drive was a lovely way so spend some time  (and farm shop food well worth the trip!!).  As to nuts at Waitrose surely by  now they see you coming and have arrows marking the way to offers (loyal customer truly rewarded). Do they have a suggestion box?

And so to Mum.  Finally had a telphone call from her social worker at 4.15 to bring me up to date.  Apparently Mum made all the right noises as she was shown around the flat being offered, lovely lounge and she could see people passing by, no point showing me the kitchen as I wont be able to use it!! Shown the communal lounge on site and they were about to take her to the dining area (where she can be taken for meals!!) when she told them it was all v.nice but she needed to get back to HER CARE HOME as her tea would be ready and she did not want to miss it.  When asked how she felt about moving there she said 'No thank you'.. Then she complained that they took the long route home and they had better not be late (they weren't).  By this point I was struggling not to laugh (think they now know what they are up against).  I have been asked to point out to my Mum that there will be no help from them if she turns the flat down and that her money wont last long!!  b.cheek!!!  Then I should contact them tomorrow (after I have 'encouraged Mum' to take up the offer (I dont think so!!) and that I should also point out that it would be in her best financial interests.  I was very polite (difficult) and told her I will visit my Mum, ask her what she thinks and if she is adamant that she wants to stay put (and pay for as long as she can afford it), then so be it. This is not what they wanted to hear but I have no intention of upsetting my Mum and if she wishes to spend her money for her own benefit I would be DELIGHTED.  So this particular soap opera continues!!  Somehow I am now managing to see the funny side of all this (how wicked I sound) and am thus coping better.  At least I am forewarned before I visit tomorrow and will also be having a chat with the Home Manager who has been tremendous support to us both.

Have a lovely weekend and enjoy those special purchases you made today.  As to the new washing machine I am just a little jealous

Best wishes  Jules xx

Hi Jules,

I hope your hubby is feeling a bit less emotional, must be very hard for him but also very hard for you and it's not always easy to think before we speak.  I did laugh about the washing up though!  I had a nice day out shopping, another friend from work also came and we spent the day looking for baby clothes for somebody who is leaving next week to have a baby.  Looking at baby girls clothes (she knows its a girl), such sweet pink clothes - I'm not used to that having had 2 boys!  Somehow makes you realise the circle of life, constant birth and constant death. Anyway feeling slightly better, still a bit fragile but think I actually feel almost traumatised by this year's events.  I hope it all goes well visiting your Mum tomorrow.  Let us know.  Hope x

Good morning Jules,

Thanks for the reply. The way you wrote about how your mother talked to the reinforced S.S. brigade really made me smile. She sounds quite a determined lady and good for her in not letting them  bully her in to changing her mind. When you came to the point when you said she told them they'd better not be late getting her home for tea, I just couldn't help but laugh. I hope you don't think badly of me for that but I would have loved to have seen the look on their faces when your mother told them that. Well done for her. I know you want the situation sorted and I can well understand how you feel but at the end of the day it's your mother decision if she want to stay put. You don't sound wicked at all Jules, please don't think that.

With regards to Waitrose and arrows indicating directions to the nutty area, the cobb nuts are at one end of the store and the frozen chestnuts are at the other end. They are using a bit of psychology here Jules as they understand if they keep both lots far apart, I might be tempted by other items while travelling on route. I think they are well aware I am the instigator of Brianitus and have acted accordingly.They know how things have a habit of falling into our trolley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have got to put a new floor down in our conservatory as the old chipboard flooring is like me, nearing its sell by date and beginning to fall apart. Have got everything ready, just have to summon up the enthusiasm which is sadly lacking at the moment.

Hope you have a peaceful weekend and do hope the visit to your mother goes well. Take care, Brian.

Good Morning Brian

After quite an absence I am so pleased to see you are still here and keeping everyone amused. I hope you and your family are all doing well, it looks like you are? My family and I are having a lot of ups and downs. My poor dads prostate cancer is now terminal and we are in the last stages which is really difficult to deal with. My poor dad as determined as he is, is now struggling to do basic tasks and for such a fit and independant man this is hard. We had a lovely family holiday to skye last week as it is his favourite place and as we had a big cottage we had such a good time together (happy memories). I am broken hearted Brian watching my dad suffer and my mam for that matter. The worst part of it all is the feeling of been so useless that you cant take any of it away for him. I am so glad that you made a good recovery because the thoughts of other peoples dads going along this road is so upsetting. We are waiting for the hospital to do a brain scan as the only place left without cancer at the moment appears to be there, however with tumours showing on the skull they are not looking too hopeful. This information has been kept from dad as I dont think he really need to know this. You really would not believe how well my dad is coping Brian I am so proud of him.

I am as always sending my kind thoughts to you.

Connie xxxx    

Good morning Connie,

Thanks for updating us. There is another thread I replied to where another lady said she also feels so helpless. I know I did when my mother was slowly slipping away from breast cancer which spread to her brain. We see our loved ones slowly getting worse and there is nothing we can do to stop the cancers progress and this is so hard to deal with as I know all to well. 

I am so pleased you had a lovely family holiday and hope you made some happy memories that will help you in the future for they are something not even time can take away from you. Whenever I feel the loss of my mother, I have many happy memories that help me cope with the sadness that hits me. 

My mother was also a very fit and independent woman and even at the last she was more worried about me than she was for herself. Connie, we have every right to be proud of our parents for they have helped shape the person we have become and I feel convinced that your father is very proud of you and loves you very much, which in turn helps him cope so well.

Have they offered your father Abiraterone. It is for men with advanced prostate cancer and is is supposed to give men several more months. I know It is not suitable for every man but thought I would just mention it for some hospitals are reluctant due to it's high cost.

Please keep us updated when you can and anytime you want to talk I and other will do all we can to help.

Take care, I am sending best wishes to you, your father and your family, Brian.

Hi Brian

Dad is on Abariterone and predonisolone and has been now for 2 month but unfortunately I have just found out that his psa has gone up agian. He is on 2 weekly appointments and we will just have to wait and see what happens. He is also now requiring blood transfusions 2.5 weekly. We keep joking we are making a series of casualty! I know dad is on the best treatment he could have all considered and if it buys us a few months Brian then it is extra months together and we are grateful for whatever time we have.

Thank you again for your kind words and support and I will keep in touch.

Love and Hugs

Connie xx  

Hi Jules,

Just managing to catch up with various threads on here and managed to track you down to this new one! I'll need to be brief as I'm finding even the little things like typing messages, quite an energy drain!

Sorry to read that the situation with your mum's care is still, as yet, unresolved, although hopefully, when she has made her decision, the ball can get rolling. I hope your hubby feels a little better over the coming days too. Sounds as if he's been working hard!

Lovely to read that your grandson is settling into his new school life so well. Our school offers a similar phased entry over the first fortnight of the new school year, and the system really seems to help the children settle in before they realise that they're 'in the system' for the next 13+ years!!!

Hope your daughters appointment goes well today too and that you manage to get all the jobs done that  you've listed! You'll certainly deserve your night out tonight at Bingo. Good luck for a healthy win!

Jules, You are like a plate spinner, you manage work, hubby, mum, daughter, grandson, home etc etc as well as offering your wise words of support to others on this forum! Like so many others, a true superstar!

Enjoy the weekend and I hope the sun shines wherever you are.

Best wishes, Jo xx

Thanks Brian

Eat plenty of nuts and in a couple of days you may find your Brainitus is rewarded by being proud of another job well done(though I dont envy you have to lay a floor!!)

Spent the morning chatting to Mum and there is no doubt she is prepared to stay where she is as long as her own funds allow.  Seems to have some 'mojo' back and has told me to tell the social services to leave her alone as she is determined to stay where she is whilst she can afford it.  I have duly followed her instructions (I dare not disobey) and so have both telephoned and e-mailed the 'final decision' to decline their offer of sheltered housing and she has specifically asked them to stop badgering her about it!!  Well that told me and them and I am so proud of her.

Its been quite a week and I shall be glad to go to my bingo night having put this subject 'to bed' at the moment.

Now I can concentrate on lifting hubby's spirits.  He has now been officially 'retired early' (found out Tuesday but delayed telling me as he felt I had enough going on!!  - was quite cross with him but he has always put others first (its one of the things I love about him )).  Think we are facing another period of re-adjustment  but he is looking foward to our new grandchild's arrival and being able to help our daughter if the need arises hopefully will make him realise he is still  'there for us' as much as we are here for him.

Hope you have some time for R&R over the weekend.  Take care and virtual hugs for listening to this 'old girl' ramble through life's ups and downs.

Jules xx

Thanks Brian

Eat plenty of nuts and in a couple of days you may find your Brainitus is rewarded by being proud of another job well done(though I dont envy you have to lay a floor!!)

Spent the morning chatting to Mum and there is no doubt she is prepared to stay where she is as long as her own funds allow.  Seems to have some 'mojo' back and has told me to tell the social services to leave her alone as she is determined to stay where she is whilst she can afford it.  I have duly followed her instructions (I dare not disobey) and so have both telephoned and e-mailed the 'final decision' to decline their offer of sheltered housing and she has specifically asked them to stop badgering her about it!!  Well that told me and them and I am so proud of her.

Its been quite a week and I shall be glad to go to my bingo night having put this subject 'to bed' at the moment.

Now I can concentrate on lifting hubby's spirits.  He has now been officially 'retired early' (found out Tuesday but delayed telling me as he felt I had enough going on!!  - was quite cross with him but he has always put others first (its one of the things I love about him )).  Think we are facing another period of re-adjustment  but he is looking foward to our new grandchild's arrival and being able to help our daughter if the need arises hopefully will make him realise he is still  'there for us' as much as we are here for him.

Hope you have some time for R&R over the weekend.  Take care and virtual hugs for listening to this 'old girl' ramble through life's ups and downs.

Jules xx

Hi Jules,

This old man as my grandson calls me is always pleased to listen to your ramblings and I do not think of you as an Old Girl. You always strike me as being someone who is young at heart. I do believe we are as old or as young as we feel. Your grandson obviously doesnt think of you as being old, as you play football and other games with him. My grandson only said it to wind me up; he know exactly which buttons to press to get me going.

I know this thing with the S.S and your mother has caused a lot of stress, but it shows your mother has a lot of determination and fight in her, a mother to be proud of for the way she has dealt with them.

Sorry to hear about your husbands forced retirement as I know from what you have written how much his work meant to him. You are right, it will be a big period of adjustment for you both. I know it was for me but it was something I needed to do for as you know, my wife has a lot of health problems and I feel better now I am at home to help her and to look after her.

Hope you have a relaxing weekend Jules and look after yourself for you have had a stressful few weeks in a row just lately.

Take care, best wishes as always, Brian (the nutty one)

See you are back to your 'nutty' best Brian and hope you are enjoying the fruits of your labours and that the conservatory floor project is not giving you too many headaches.  I read on  another thread that you hope to return to one of your favourite National Trust gardens (always loved to visit these when we holidayed int he UK) and it is a shame that your wife cannot enjoy the walk with you.  Was just wondering whether she would be up to being wheeled round as when we took a friend round a couple of years back we were able to borrow wheelchair on site and it gave her such pleasure to be able to join us for the visit without tiring her out.

We have had a lovely morning as our daughter and grandson have been here and he has been showing us his 'scooter skills' along our garden path.  He even got Grandad to stand in goal for him!!

My hubby also took it upon himself (hope you sitting down as you read this ) to take him to Sainsburys and they did the weekly shop together (a couple of miniature chocolate teddies found their way into the trolley plus a pack of small cars which he promptly took 'off roading in the flower bed'.  Whilst they were busy my daughter and I had good chat about his forthcoming 5th birthday in November (he wants board games and I need to know what he has already got!!).  Also discussed contingency plans for when she goes into labour.  Life will be a little easier from Monday as the little one will be in school full time so she will get plenty of rest and she now has her Dad available as back up when I am at work which has put her mind at rest (and made him feel useful!!).

Hope you find some time to relax and will chat again soon.  Jules xx

Hi Jules,

You mentioned cobwebs the other day so I had to search for this photo I took in our back garden a few years ago

Take care, Brian.

Click on it to enlarge.

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Thanks Brian

They are amazing little engineers those spiders. xJules

Thats beautiful Brian. After Jules mentioned them the other morning I saw loads of them in the long grass on the common just outside our gate. I wonder if I would have noticed them if I hadn't seen Jules's post??

I hope you and your wife are well Brian. All is well here, am about to get on the train to London tomorrow to visit the newest member of the family. Very excited. Have a good weekend.

best

Annabel. xx