Thank you Mick, Ann, and Max  for all your replies, I really wish I could in all honesty take all your advice and act upon it but without sounding selfish or thinking about my own feelings I have become fully consumed  in grief for Carrie and no matter how I try I canno't think of anything else. My wife Sandra and my sons have and are a godsend on trying to eleviate what has now become I feel depression and anxiety and has said I have no control over it and just feel when Carrie's life comes to an end so will mine in so many ways.

Bill ..........  I wouldnt dream of giving you advice - apart from that I really think that you should tell your GP how you are feeling because maybe some medication could help you cope with things right now. God knows you could do with all the help you can get!!! Wish there was something I could say to take your pain away but so understand your thoughts. Please dont keep them all locked up inside, write them down and post to us if you cant share them with loved ones. Thinking of you. Max x

Max I really appreciate your kind words and would never think anything untowards of  you giving your advice to me. I have tried the anti depression tablets and they made me far far worse and came of them I also declined councilling because in my heart of hearts I truly feel that by talking to my family is as good as it is going to get under the circumstances. When my daughter was born Max she was my prayer answered and my love for her all her life has been totally pleasureable for me she has never done any wrong in my eyes and is 100% my angel, my love for her is unmeasureable as is my family without a shadow of doubt and I know my family will not mind me saying it but Carrie is the favourite. I do feel that the friendships I have made on this site including you Max if you do not mind me saying so have helped me. Thank you. x

Im glad you have gone down the GP route Bill and at least tried those options. I feel the same way about my beautiful daughter, she is 27 and  my son who is 28. My daughter and I are best friends too and it breaks my heart to leave her - I have approx 6mths prognosis. I imagined being here to pick wedding dresses, see my grandchildren arrive, etcc but its all been taken away from us all to share as a family. Its overwhelming if I let myself think about it all - so I  understand all you are saying but know none of the answers and its terribly painful and hard to bear. I hope you will feel a little more able to cope in tme, we all have some harder times to face and just have to support our families who are suffering so much too. Much love max x

Max I am truly sorry concerning your prognosis and I will pray for you Max and thank you again for your kind words which are true to the word and have helped me to understand more than you will ever know. God Bless you Max. X.

I so hope it does help a little to be able to tell someone else going through a similar journey - it helps me too. My hubbie has stopped work to be at home with me and we are away for a few days until later next week. Please keep in touch and let me know how Carrie and you are doing and I will log-on if I can get on the internet - but if you dont hear back from me you will know why. Take good care of yourself Bill and your lovely family. Speak soon. Max x

Speak soon Max and enjoy your holiday. Bill. X

Thinking of you Max hope your having a great time with your family X.

Hi Bill ..... Am back after a good few days with friends. How are you doing?  Max x