Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply.

Hopewells - I am  sorry to hear about both your Mum and your little brother, although good news that he is on the mend, and am sorry you are going through all this at such a young age.  I wish you well with all that lies ahead.  I take on board what you say about feeling lucky for the time I have had with my Mum, but that doesn't necessarily make what she is going through any easier to deal with - with things like this, it's probably best not to try and compare who is luckier than who, as when you are going through it, I'm sure it's just as hard for all of us for many different reasons and in many different ways.  Thank you for your advice and your prayers and for sharing your story.

Mickied - thanks also for your reply, you are absolutely right that the only way to deal with this is to live one day at a time, and I absolutely have to focus on doing that.  But you are right that it comes down to the kind of person you are, and just because something like this happens, you can't suddently change the way you feel or react to things.  I wish you all the strength to get through this to, and please stay in touch as  I feel there are some similarities in the way we are feeling and coping.

Brian - a massive thanks to you again, you write so well and manage to say so many of the right things.  Thank you for your wishes.  I am feeling better this week, and planning a few more trips to spend time with Mum  I just want to until we are given some more indication fo what the future holds, and without sounding morbid, would never want to regret not spending time with her - she keeps feeling guilty about us travelling to see her, so I am having a job convincing her that we do it because we want to!  All the very best to you and please stay in touch.

Catherine x

Hi Catherine

As they say life can be so cruel sometimes and it can be very hard to try and get through each day as it comes.  How is your mum keeping and how are you?

I kept your mum in my prayers and discovered last week that a young baby who undergone a heart operation survived and is on the mend so sometimes there is someone listening.

Thank you for the invitation to stay in touch which I promise I will do.

Take care

Mickied

Hi again,

Thanks again for the words of comfort, always so appreciated.

Just wanted to say so sorry to hear the news of your dad's brother, and hope he will be well looked after where he is, and is now as well and comfortable as can be.

Thinking of you,

Catherine x

Hi Mickied - sorry, that last message I posted was in reply to yours, but I didnt put your name on it!  Take care xx

Hi Brian,

Like you, I thought Mum would be here forever, it is only really when something like this happens that you realise that we are all here for quite short time really, and that we are very dependent emotionally on our loved ones.  It's that reason that makes me feel so vulnerable when I think of mum not being here.  But as you say, I often think of your words about parents living on in their children and it was lovely to read your story of your sister, who is proof of this.  It sounds like you have had  some big events happen in your life, some very happy and some very sad, but I am sure these have all helped make you the very kind and wise man you so clearly are!

Thank you for all your good wishes,

Catherine x

Hello everyone,

I'm afraid to say that this is the message I never wanted to write, but sadly knew would come at some point soon.  My darling Mum passed away in the early hours of this morning.  We all managed to be with her (just, as after several days and nights of sitting at her bedside, had decided to take short sleep shifts so it was a bit of a panic to get everyone up in time) but fortunately the wonderful nurses at the hospice helped us achieve this.  Despite the horrendous situation, the nurses were able to keep her comfortable and pain free, and Mum's last minutes were peaceful and with those who loved her so much.

It has been the strangest day - I think we are all exhausted and numb, but have gone from moments of joy and laughter as we think about Mum, to moments of immense sorrow and disbelief.  I guess this is normal.

I'm in such a state this evening that I am struggling to find the words that I want to say.  But, and forgive me if this seems a little indulgent, I did just want to come on here and pay tribute to my mum, by saying what a wonderful person she is, and that we could not have wished for a better Mum, wife and grandmother (and, also, judging by the state of my husband today, am guessing she was considered a wonderful mother-in-law too!)  None of us quite know what our lives will be like without her, but we know they will always be richer for her having been in them.

My thoughts continue to be with those going through the ordeal of cancer at the moment, and also to all of you who have been so kind to support me as I have tried to come to terms with Mum's illness.  Your kindness has been so very appreciated.

Thank you everyone, Catherine xx

Catherine, my thoughts are with you and the rest of your family during this saddest of times. It was  a lovely tribute to your Mum that you found the strength to post so soon after your loss. She will live in your heart forever and has helped make you who you are. Am pleased for you all that you were able to be with her during her last few days and that she passed with the comfort of her family around her in such peaceful and pain free surroundings. Sending virtual hugs.Jules x

Dear Catherine

I am sending condolences to you from all of us at Cancer Chat. You have been with your mum every step of the way and, as Jules has said, it is good to know that she had a peaceful final few days surrounded by her loved ones.

Best wishes to you and your family at this sad time,

Jane

Oh Catherine,

I am so sorry to read this. But I think it just goes to show from the tribute you wrote about your mother, what a wonderful daughter you are and it must have made your mother very proud to have a daughter who loved her as much as you have. Like Jules, I am glad you and the family were able to be with her right to the end. I know the hugely differing range of feelings you talk about as I felt pretty much the same when I lost my mother. I thank you for coming on here to let us know and please come back anytime you want Catherine, for you have made many friends on here over the past few months who will do all we can to help and support you through this most painful time.

Sending my deepest sympathy and condolences both to you and your family, please take care of yourself, Brian

Catherine,

Just to say I am so sorry to hear that you lost your Mother yesterday. You describe her as a wonderful Wife, Mum, Grandma and Mother in Law.  I just want to say I think she must have passed on some of her traits to you as you have written such lovely messages to people (including myself) on here, and it sounds like you are a wonderful daughter to your late Mum.  Thinking about you and your family at this terrible time.  I hope and pray that the day will come very soon that people dont have to lose their lives to this awful illness.   Kathryn x  

Jules, Brian, Kathryn and all others who have replied to me previously,

Thank you so much for your words of kindness and comfort,.  The last few days have been impossibly hard, but I have found that the kindness and thoughts of others, and in particular those who have gone through this, have helped so much.

I will certainly stay in touch on this forum, as will never forget the support of you all, and as alwasy wish you all the very best.

Take care,

Catherine xx

Catherine,  everyone who has shared your story will be keeping you in their thoughts during the terribly hard time for you and your family. The forum's support is there for whenever you need to chat. Take care and sending hugs.Jules

Catherine,  everyone who has shared your story will be keeping you in their thoughts during the terribly hard time for you and your family. The forum's support is there for whenever you need to chat. Take care and sending hugs.Jules