Hello Gadgetgranny9,

A very warm welcome to the forum.

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad and I send my sincere sympathy to you and your family. It sounds as if you are being very supportive to your daughter and daughter-in-law, but I'm not at all surprised that you are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. You haven't really had any time to grieve for your Dad, which is something that we all need. Many of us feel totally powerless when caring for a loved one who is undergoing treatment. We all tend to underestimate the benefit that they get from the support that we provide. Having lost both of my parents to cancer, along with many friends and relatives, I must confess that I didn't either, until I was diagnosed with 2 bouts of breast cancer and 1 of pre-cancer myself and experienced this support from family and friends for myself - it really is invaluable.

It always helps to be able to open up to somebody about how you really feel. Do you have a Maggie's Centre near you? This is a charity, which offers a number of free services to cancer patients and others with life-limiting illnesses. You can pop in anytime for a welcome cuppa and a chat, often with  people who are in a similar situation to yourself. You can also make an appointment to speak to a counsellor. There are a number of other charities that offer similar services dotted throughout the UK. Many of these go under different names locally, but your GP, practice nurse, Citizens Advice Bureau or local library, should all be able to point you in the right direction. Your daughter's hospital may also have a cancer information centre, which can also usually provide this service.

There are also volunteer drivers in most areas, who could drive your daughter for her hospital appointments as she starts treatment, as her hospital visits may be more frequent for a while. This would free up a little time for yourself, as you really do need to look after yourself, if you're to be able to look after others. If you still find that you're struggling after this, have a word with your GP. You are and have been under a lot of stress for a while and you may need him/her to prescribe a mild anti depressant to help you through this.

I am thinking of you and hope that some of these suggestions help. Please keep in touch and let us know how you're coping and remember, that we are always here for you. Thinking of you and wishing you the strength to see this through.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx