Stage 4 breast cancer - mum was doing ok up until recently. I'm trying to support her but I'm finding it difficult seeing her decline

Hello my name is tony ive been caring for my mum now for about 4 years i started caring for mum at first due-to having back problems and kidney disease stage 3.now november last year she got told she had stage 4 breast cancer which had spread too her lung and liver she was told due to her age 80 chemo wouldnt be good for her which she declined anyway as she wanted a better quality of life she wasnt given a time scale shes been doing ok up untill last aweek where she seems too off deteriorated since feeling sick not sleeping great at night so when the day comes shes sleep more im trying to support her but im finding it difficult seeing her decline we live together so monday to friday im here all the time then being a part time dj i went to work friday and saturdays i have decided to give this up so im here for mum all the time she managed ok when i had gone but seeing her decline i cant leave her im finding it hard the anxiety is hitting me hard im abit lost right now with worry i know shes going to die with this disease but im try too prepare myself for this 

  • Hello Tony and welcome to the forum,
    I’m sorry to hear about your mum.
    It is completely understandable that you are feeling lost and that your anxiety is high right now; witnessing a parent decline is incredibly difficult to process, even when you are trying your best to prepare yourself.
    Since your mother’s condition has changed recently and she is struggling with sickness and poor sleep, it might be helpful to speak with her medical team or a palliative care nurse to see if they can adjust her support to make her more comfortable.
    Taking on everything yourself is a very heavy burden, and you deserve support too. With that in mind there is a page from our website that offers tips and ways to support someone with cancer. There are also things you can do to support yourself if someone you love has cancer.
    If you feel you need someone to talk to about your mother's diagnosis or the symptoms she is experiencing, you can call our nurses at 0808 800 4040. They are available from Monday to Friday, 9 am to 5 pm.
    Please remember to breathe and take things one moment at a time. We are all here to listen whenever you need to share what is on your mind.
    All the best,
    Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator