Feeling lost.

Hi

I thought I'd join to see if the group's right for me. I read about it on social media. My partner Tim was diagnosed with terminal cancer just over a year ago and given 3 to 5 years. It's been very hard with some bereavements and other family problems thrown in, as well as a stressful house move, which has felt like a race against time. I don't feel like I'm coping most of the time. The cancer was put in a fairly dormant state with treatments but now it seems to be coming back in his ribs and spine. I don't think too much about the future because I can't face it. At least the consultant is talking about further chemo and radiotherapy rather than writing Tim off. That's something. My previous partner died very suddenly after a sudden heart attack, and I dread to think of going through anything like that again..... I was in deep shock for 6 months or so, thinking he was with me in the room and talking to him for hours and hours every day..... it really wasn't healthy. 3 months after losing him in 2022, I lost my best friend to cancer and I'm still trying to accept that. Anyway, I'm feeling lost and have so many intense unpleasant emotions. I think it might help talking to someone going through something similar or someone who's been through it. I find friends and family shun me a bit as they can't face my sadness. 

  • A warm welcome to Cancer Chat, Naomi-1.

    I’m sorry to hear everything you and Tim are going through. It sounds like it’s been an incredibly hard time for you, especially with the bereavements, family worries, and so many changes happening at once.

    It’s positive that Tim’s consultant is still planning further treatment, but even with that, living with so much uncertainty can be exhausting. Many people here will understand what it’s like to carry those emotions day to day, and I hope that others who’ve been through something similar will reach out to share their experiences and offer support.

    You might also find this page from our website with information on support for family, friends and caregivers helpful. It talks about the emotional side of caring for someone with cancer and ways to look after yourself too.

    You don’t have to go through this on your own. I hope the forum can be a safe space for you to talk things through whenever you need to.

    Take care,

    Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Thanks Renata, that's very kind and helpful. I'll follow up the link and do my best to keep on trying and hope things settle down.