It is very hard . I care for my brother. We were estranged for a large part of 40 years. Not that we fell out. His wife did not like me ( it felt like hate really) even though we never actually fell out she just didn't like me. She died last year and now I see my brother every week. We get on well now but their son aged 40 still is very distant and goes out the way if I'm at my brothers. My brother has been given 4-6 months to live. 

I love my brother and want to do all I can for him and I support him with all his appointments for bloods, scans,Oncologist,chemo,etc. It's very very hard someday as I know I don't have long left with him.

It's his birthday tomorrow,  he's 72 and his son and wife have booked a room for his LAST birthday.  I've not been invited

Families.  Hard work 

Xxx

Hello Sandmick

It is indeed very very hard when some  family  make it difficult to have a relationship with your own siblings 

I think you are doing the best you can by being there for your brother in all you are doing to support him in his appts et al. I am sure they appreciate your support and renewed closeness.

Can you arrange if your brother is well enough a birthday activity for the two of you apologies if you are already on this page! No need to have only one birthday do in any circumstances!

I hope you can keep spending quality time with him for as long as your brother has.

Sending strength to you both

Kindest wishes

RB

Thank you. That is great advice and such kind words. It's his birthday today. He didn't think he'd make it but he has. We'll chat on the phone . Sundays are spent with my husband but he doesn't help me. Doesn't understand when I get upset. I'll see my brother tomorrow and appreciate the chat and cuppa we get yo have together. 

Families,  take it out of us don't they. It's so hard to keep positive some days but I'm so glad I found this site.  Always someone on here to speak to who at least understands.  

Thank you for your kind words xx

Hi Sandmick

Im glad you get to spend time with your Brother. .

I find some hubbys / males find dealing with their spouses emotions difficult sometimes because they never learned how to/ experienced a great loss...

I speak to a counsellor which i find helpful we are dealing with anticipatory grief whilst trying as you say to be positive.

if you contact Macmillian they are open every day

8 am to 8pm you can chat there as well as on here. too they have helped us in various ways such as talking things through 

I hope you manage to find time just for you today 

Kind wishes

RB

Exactly 

My husband has experienced loss but both his parents are still around plus all his aunties, uncles and a million cousins.

I have no one other than my son and daughter and I really don't like offloading to them as I think it's un fare. 

Husband is only happy when he's at work

I worked as a bereavement support worker and yes understand anticipatory grief and yes I understand this is what I am feeling. Pity others don't.   Im glad you are seeking help. It's good to talk and cry. Only wish I could do that but I think because I'm trying to be so strong if I began to cry I don't think I'd stop

Really appreciate the support on here thank you xx

Exactly 

My husband has experienced loss but both his parents are still around plus all his aunties, uncles and a million cousins.

I have no one other than my son and daughter and I really don't like offloading to them as I think it's un fare. 

Husband is only happy when he's at work

I worked as a bereavement support worker and yes understand anticipatory grief and yes I understand this is what I am feeling. Pity others don't.   Im glad you are seeking help. It's good to talk and cry. Only wish I could do that but I think because I'm trying to be so strong if I began to cry I don't think I'd stop

Really appreciate the support on here thank you xx