I know how you feel. I put a brave face on for everyone. It's so hard when your struggling. I convinced myself and family that it would all be alright. Everyone had their own opinions and a a hundred questions. It was exhausting. I would go for a walk or to the gym and turn my phone off. It just me time to get myself together. I had a friend who understood and that helped. I hope things settle down for. You will get through this. I wish you all best.
Thank you for your reply. Knowing someone gets it is really helpful
although I wish you didnt have to go through it!
Your self care tips are really good ( i need to do the phone off bit) I do try to go out the house when I can.
been especially hard last month.
I am finding my patience is running dry and I feel cross that family cannot adult! I think I have been too giving in the past and now I cant its not being taken well.
Many of us here find ourselves in your position. Whether we have cancer or are a loved one of someone with cancer. Over time the disease wears us out physically and emotionally leaving little energy for ourselves. While those around us expect us to continue giving out our energy to them in various ways whilst expecting us to carry on with our own lives as normal. There comes a point when we need to take a step back, be a little selfish and have some "me" time to preserve our own health and sanity letting others sort out their own lives.
It is very hard . I care for my brother. We were estranged for a large part of 40 years. Not that we fell out. His wife did not like me ( it felt like hate really) even though we never actually fell out she just didn't like me. She died last year and now I see my brother every week. We get on well now but their son aged 40 still is very distant and goes out the way if I'm at my brothers. My brother has been given 4-6 months to live.
I love my brother and want to do all I can for him and I support him with all his appointments for bloods, scans,Oncologist,chemo,etc. It's very very hard someday as I know I don't have long left with him.
It's his birthday tomorrow, he's 72 and his son and wife have booked a room for his LAST birthday. I've not been invited
It is indeed very very hard when some family make it difficult to have a relationship with your own siblings
I think you are doing the best you can by being there for your brother in all you are doing to support him in his appts et al. I am sure they appreciate your support and renewed closeness.
Can you arrange if your brother is well enough a birthday activity for the two of you apologies if you are already on this page! No need to have only one birthday do in any circumstances!
I hope you can keep spending quality time with him for as long as your brother has.
Thank you. That is great advice and such kind words. It's his birthday today. He didn't think he'd make it but he has. We'll chat on the phone . Sundays are spent with my husband but he doesn't help me. Doesn't understand when I get upset. I'll see my brother tomorrow and appreciate the chat and cuppa we get yo have together.
Families, take it out of us don't they. It's so hard to keep positive some days but I'm so glad I found this site. Always someone on here to speak to who at least understands.
My husband has experienced loss but both his parents are still around plus all his aunties, uncles and a million cousins.
I have no one other than my son and daughter and I really don't like offloading to them as I think it's un fare.
Husband is only happy when he's at work
I worked as a bereavement support worker and yes understand anticipatory grief and yes I understand this is what I am feeling. Pity others don't. Im glad you are seeking help. It's good to talk and cry. Only wish I could do that but I think because I'm trying to be so strong if I began to cry I don't think I'd stop
Really appreciate the support on here thank you xx
