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I don’t know how to cope - my mam has been diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer. I'm in such a panicked state and feel I need to be with her all the time

Hannah2624
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My mam is 55 and I’m 26. I’m my mams only child. She has been poorly for such a long time and was refusing to go to the doctors. In the last 5 weeks I have seen a huge deterioration in her and had shared my worries with her doctor. She had been sent for urgent scans and tests and was given the official diagnosis of advanced ovarian cancer that’s spread to the stomach. I can’t help but wish I did more. Im living in such a panicked state, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t settle and feel like I have to be with my mam every second in case something happens. I feel like im in a nightmare and I’m running and can’t get away. She’s my only family and I can’t cope with losing her at 26 and grieving the life I always wanted for her. If anyone has any advice on just making anything 1% better I would really appreciate it. Thank you 

  • Welcome to Cancer Chat, Hannah2624 though I am sorry for the reason you’ve joined us.

    You’ve been through so much already, and it makes absolute sense to feel panicked and overwhelmed. Wanting to be with your mum every moment speaks to the deep love you have for her.

    You’re not alone in feeling like you’re in a nightmare. Many here find it hard to sleep, eat, or settle when faced with such fear and uncertainty. Hopefully some of them will be here shortly to talk with you and offer advice. Until they come, it might help to find small moments where you’re caring for yourself, even when it feels impossible. Try to take a short walk, sip a cup of tea, or spend a few minutes journaling your thoughts. These tiny acts aren't about escaping reality, they’re about giving you a bit of breath so you can be there for her.

    If it ever becomes too much and you need someone to speak to right away, our nurses are here to support you Monday to Friday, 9 am–5 pm, on this number 0808 800 4040.

    We’re all here for you. Pop back anytime you need to talk, share a thought, or seek comfort.

    Best wishes to you both,
    Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline

    Hey Hannah,

    Im really struggling to albeit my Grandma. She has had lung surgery and is about to start her Chemo. Im a mess, can’t sleep, can’t eat. Trying to be positive but I’m so tearful. It’s so difficult. We are only human and this is a natural reaction for us to have. We need to remember to look after ourselfs too. Wether that means going to the drs ourself and asking for help even just talking to someone. Then do what needs to be done to look after yourself. X

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Renata

    Your reply to Hannah has helped me too Renata. 

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