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My husband has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer

Kbro
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Hi all,

My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and lesions on his liver last week. He had 4 biopsies taken from his liver. We are waiting on the results of this so don't know what stage yet or a treatment plan. He is trying to carry on as normal as possible (where pain allows) and putting on a brave face. I on the other hand am absolutely terrified, i think it's the unknown and not knowing how to support and care for him properly without overwhelming him  or him feeling suffocated.

He also has a nine year old son with his ex-wife that he adores and we are unsure how best to tell him. Any advice that the community could give would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

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    Hello Kbro, 

    I am so sorry to hear about your husband's pancreatic cancer diagnosis - it must be such an anxious time for you as you are waiting for the results and to get more clarity and more details regarding staging and treatment plans. As you said, it's the unknown that can be truly terrifying and hopefully you will have all the information very soon once you have been given the biopsy results. It's so difficult sometimes to find the right words to support a loved one with cancer or as you said to know how to be there for him without him feeling overwhelmed. There is information on our website for Family, friends and caregivers  where you will find out more about how to support someone with cancer. There isn't obviously one steadfast rule on how best to support someone with cancer and I am sure, as you know your husband best, just going with your instinct and intuition will work wonders but I hope you will find that page interesting and it even has a nice little video with tips from people with cancer about talking to someone with cancer. 

    I would also like to make you aware of our page on talking to children about cancer which will have some useful tips and I am sure other members of our community will have been in a similar place before and will be along shortly to share their experience with you. 

    We're thinking of you and your husband during this difficult time and wanted you to know that we are all here for you anytime you want to offload. If there is anything you want to discuss or ask about once you get all the details of the diagnosis, feel free to give our cancer nurses a call on this free number 0808 800 4040 - their helpline is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

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    Hi,

    My husband has pancreatic cancer and now 6 sessions into chemo.

    He's only 52 me 45 with 2 kids.

    The unknown is so hard.  You just want answes at this stage and its a waiting game. 

    Its so hard for you all to get your head around it all but as time goes on you kinda do. People say stay positive, yeah right that's all well and good but dam hard when your falling to pieces inside but trying to stay strong on the outside.

    Family and friends can be amazing but it gets to the point we're its all to overwhelming when everyone messages daily/weekly wanting to know how your are/they are.

    Try and be yourself and ask thoses around you to treat your husband as normal.  You want normality as much as possible, I find that helps. 

    Crying every day for 3 weeks maybe 4 was my way to begin with now its calmed down but still have melt downs every so often.

    It's frustrating, its scary, it's the unknowing, its the sadness and loneliness, everything that beats you up your not alone .

    Do you feel your treading on eggshells around your hubby or can you talk openly to each other about it.

    The pain he is in am I assuming its in husband back ?

    Praying for your hubby and you darling.  I'm here to chat anytime.x

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