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Feeling scared. Is this the end for mum ?

biscuit1
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Hello , sending love to those who are going through similar here.

My mum has breast cancer bone Mets and has been in hospital with high calcium levels.

She's not eating and i think we're entering the last stages. She's still drinking fluid and will have one energy drink or whatever but can't stomach food .

The anxiety over knowing how long she will have is absolutely torturous and I have nobody to talk for various reasons 

Can anyone help with the following please ?

How long is it to.thr 'end" when patients are barley eating ?

Does everyone look frail and thin at the end as she is still carrying weight ?

Is it normal to feel such high anxiety and sense of dread every minute which f every day ?  

It's v confusing as some days she seems ok in herself and others ar just awful.  It's a rollercoaster.  I don't want my mum to die. Am really struggling with low mood despite having tablets from the doc 

Thank you to Anyone who answers 

  • Offline
    1. Hi biscuit1,
    2. The nurses can calm your fears and answer most of your questions bug knowing when the end is near is difficult to predict as we are all different. Not everyone ends life looking frail and thin. Yes, it’s very normal to feel anxious, it’s because you love and care for your mum. It certainly is a rollercoaster as you say, end of life is very unpredictable. Do you have a friend that you could talk to or maybe ask the Nurses if they have someone you could talk to, the hospital chaplain perhaps? 
  • Offline in reply to Debsta

    Hello Debsta. Thanks so much for replying.  

    My dad gets v upset and my siblings are in strong denial so I feel v alone tbh.   I can talk to my partner and friends but feel like I'm burdening everyone with this.   Am so anxious all the time and can't believe I'm going to lose her.

    At the same time there's all this information around 'the end' which I'm trying to stay away from online but I'm a person who research helps if that makes sense 

    Am so sad and lost. Thank you so much again for your kind reply 

  • Offline in reply to biscuit1

    I too am a person who likes to know what’s going to happen so I can be prepared, I know my Dad hasn’t got long and it kills me not knowing when it will happen. I research constantly but have come to realise there is no definite answer cos we are all different. You are not alone on here, reach out in the ‘ask the nurse’ category who will be able to offer some advice. On Mum’s good days try to be positive and enjoy simple things with her.to continue making memories

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