I am so sorry Rhubarbdragon.

I can't begin to imagine how difficult and absolutely heart-breaking it must be to watch your husband go through this but I hope it helps to know that quite a few of our members have experienced anticipatory grief whilst supporting their loved ones in the latter stages of their cancer journeys as well so they will know only too well of the struggles and challenges you face and hopefully you will receive some support and advice from them soon.

I hope you find this article on how to cope with anticipatory grief useful as well but as always, if it would help to talk things through with one of our cancer nurses, they're just a phone call away on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m.

We're thinking of you Rhubarbdragon and sending you all our strength and support at this very difficult time.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thank you Steph for taking time to reply it does help just hear from someone

Like always these things ebb and flow 

I speak to a therapist too which is really helpful and as things are progressing hubby is opening up more which is good 

Id say to anyone in the same situation please reach out for help

And take care of yourself too

Its a tough road 

Enjoy each golden moment however small these will sustain you and become the memories

You're most welcome. 

And your words are so touching. I'm sure our members will definitely appreciate them and heed your advice if they need to.

You take care of yourself too Rhubarbdragon and remember that we will always be here for you.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hello Rhubarbdragon

I am so very sorry for all your husband and yourself are going through.  I lost my husband, my soulmate to junctional oesophagus cancer going into the 9th year now.  Your words to the Moderator, Steph really touched me, very beautiful, very moving.   Your advise to others is so moving and is what will help you too.  I still struggle and miss my husband everyday and everynight.  We have a wonderful daughter, who has helped and been there for me always.  We had our first grandson, our daughters first child, who was 6 months when grandad, my husband passed away, having them both gave me the strength to carry on.  The love of my husband also gave me the strength to carry on.  My daughter now has two boys, they bring me such joy it helps so much, but I am so sad that grandad is not here to share in all the precious days with them.  He was broken hearted to not see our grandson grow.  We talk about him all the time and they both say goodnight and blow kisses to grandad David on the clould.  I take him with me in whatever I do and whereever I go, with my family and with my wonderful friends who have been such a support to me also.  I could not do it without my family ad friends.  Im glad your husband is able to open up a little to you, but I wish with all my heart this was not happening to him and you.  My husband couldnt talk about things, although I know he was so worried about leaving me and his family.  I wouldnt allow myself to accept what was happenning.  My husbands  relatives tell me I coped so well during that time.  I knew in my heart but couldnt addmit to myself.  Im sorry I dont have much advise or how to say to you.  I am thinking of you both.  Take care xxxx