A very warm welcome to the forum Hotchocolat312 although I'm very sorry for your loss, and to hear that your sister also has lung cancer.

This must be such a difficult time as you try to find a way to care for your sister whilst mourning the loss of your mum but I hope I hope it helps to know that our members are here for you Hotchocolat312, and I'm sure it won't be long until some of them stop by to offer their support and advice.

You can find out more about the support at home that may be available to your sister on our website, but we also have a team of cancer nurses you can discuss this with on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m. They're very insightful and will do all that they can to answer your questions and put your mind at ease about your current worries and concerns.

It's important to take care of yourself at this time as well Hotchocolat312 so try not to feel guilty for how you are feeling. Be kind to yourself, and if you feel your mental health starts to get impacted at any point, don't hesitate to reach out to your GP and other mental health services. They are all there to help and support you at this challenging time.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

• Thankyou Steph. I haven't been on the chat for a month and with prayers and meditation I am "keeping my head above water." This site is helping me alot as I read other peoples circumstances and think of what I could say to help them. Unfortunately my sister has just been told that she has a tumour in her bowel now. That sinking feeling in the pit of my stomache has returned but I am now preparing to stay at my sister's one or two weeks at a time. It's not come to me actually needing to do this yet. I'm shocked about this next tumour and very tearful although from the symptoms she has been describing to me, I feared the worst. Last time I visited her she had make-up 'plastered' over one side of her face in an attempt to hide swelling and a black eye she sustained when she fell, crashing into the door handle. She was also having pain in her shoulder which she thinks she renched during the fall.  She didn't report it to the nurse because she said she didn't want to have to wait on a hospital stretcher for hours. I am of a mind that if she doesn't want treatment of any kind then it's her choice but it is very difficult not to cry. She's always looked younger than me in the past and when we went out together she was always proud to tell people we were twins. When we went out for a coffee together she told the waitress we were twins. I nearly burst out crying. So I feel i'm back on the rolercoaster. I have decided I will respect my sister's wishes to refuse outside support but now I have a new thought that brings me some relief in that I can accept outside help to help me look after my sister. Just needed to 'vent' alittle. 

I'm really glad the support you're receiving from the community is helping you, although I'm really sorry to hear about the latest developments with your sister.

I can't begin to imagine what you are going through but we are here for you and will continue to do all we can to support you.

I forgot to say in my previous reply that there is a cancer charity called Maggie's that you can reach out to for support as well. They actually have walk in centres across the UK, so if you find there's one near you or where your sister lives, do feel free to pop in as you can connect with others who are also on this journey and receive further support and advice.

Vent as much as you need Hotchocolat312, as that is what the forum is for and we are more than happy to listen.

In the meantime, take each day as it comes and remember you are not alone.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator