Hi Hayleyd27, and a warm welcome to the forum though I'm sorry to hear about your step dad, and what you and your family are going through, I too have terminal cancer, and looked after my mum when she had terminal lung cancer, and I am truly sorry for for what this awful disease is doing to you and your loved ones. Hayleyd27, almost all my friends with our prognosees don't want to know, it's hardly ever right and makes  a difficult time more stressful. But the choice is yours. 

Hayley, can I suggest you contact your GP and get a referral to your local hospice their  palliative care team and the district nurses, I have been with them for 15 months, and they are amazing, and as well as supporting your step dad, will support his closest family too.

PS, my cancer was in 13 places, and is only detectable in, though I am still terminal, but with more time. My best wishes to you and your family.

Eddie xx 

thank you for your reply, means a lot. Yeah it’s a tough one because I totally understand what you are saying. I do hear a lot of people get months and are around for much longer, which I would love my step dad to be but I also want him to be pain free as much as possible and be comfortable and still enjoy what he can. At the moment, he’s not mobile as they found an infection called discitis in his spine which he is being treated for by antibiotics.

i am sorry you are going through this, sending all my strength to you and your family. It’s such a horrible horrible disease and wish there was a magic wand to make it disappear. 

You are welcome,  and many thanks for your good wishes, none of us really know how long we have, and like you, agree making the most of that time is what matters, to that end, I hope his discitis treatment is successful soon and he can regain his mobility, which is so important to us.

Not a magic wand, but we welcomed 2 new granddaughters to the family 10 days ago, 

Take care my friend 

Eddie xx