Hi Lindabobs, and a warm welcome to the forum, so sorry to hear your husband has metastatic prostate cancer, and how frightened you are feeling, what you are feeling is perfectly normal, It's an awful thing to be told you or a loved one has cancer, so please don't feel bad about the way you feel. It's the hardest time going through tests, waiting for results and for treatment to start, but once it does and you start fighting back against this awful disease things do get better I too have metastatic prostate cancer MPCa, diagnosed July 22, though our diagnosis is similar, I have a very rare and aggressive variant, I was given a prognosis, which is just a guess and ignore, though mine was never curable, many guys with MPCa are, and i know many guys still here 10 years on, I was in healthcare 15 years, 5 in cancer care and todays treatments are so much better than just 5 years ago and getting better all the time, my very best wishes to you and your husband at your oncologist meeting.

Eddie xx

Hi Eddie - thank you SO much for taking the time to reply. Just knowing there’s someone out there to speak to is massively helpful in itself. My husband has also been told he has an aggressive cancer. MRI no 5 & Gleason score of 10  - in lymph nodes & bones - so everything seems to be the worse it can be right now. He had a hormone injection yesterday & felt quite unwell. Hey ho - mustn’t make assumptions before oncologist. 
t Thsnks again - Linda 

Do what a number of others do, go into the meeting as you originally planned to do, and make it quite clear before any discussion takes place, you wish to leave the room for a few minutes when the timescale is being discussed. Just as it is your husband's right to know, it's your right not wanting to know.

Both the doctor and your husband should respect your wishes.

Thank you - that’s made it a lot clearer in my mind. Totally respect what is right for my husband.

Hi Linda, you are very welcome, I'm sorry to hear your husband is Gleason 10 as am I, and it doesn't mean the end, Linda, my PCa variants are it's intraductal, castrate resistant, hormone sensitive with cribriform pattern 4, I imagine these mean very little to you, and hopefully never will, I just want you to know that despite these and not being able to have chemotherapy or surgery "due to heart problems", life is good nearly three years on, and with more years to come, I am writing this while on holiday, our7th this year, sure I'm a little slower than I was, but I'm 100% independent, go to the gym 3 times a week. and have no problems with being intimate.PS, mention his discomfort due to HT injection to his CNS.

Eddie xx

Hi again Eddie- your words are more reassuring than you could possibly imagine. As I’m sure you’ll appreciate it’s easy to let your imagination run away with you right now with so many unknowns. I will mention about the hormone injection not being great - already learning from you that there may actually be some alternatives to consider with whatever treatment is put in place going forward.

So inspiring that you’re fit, active & enjoying frequent holidays.

Thanks again - I’m sure I’ll be messaging you again. 

Linda xx

HI Linda, thank you, It's amazing how many treatments there are these days and new ones coming through all the time, I don't watch TV, but love studying and have found a few treatments which may be suitable for me and a couple nearing the end of trials too, as well as plan C, D and E, which are still to come, Linda at your appointment, it's a good idea to record it as often we don't take everything in, and ask for a copy of your husbands notes and scans. take care.

Eddie xx

Hi love I have been with my husband from the beginning Nearly 5Yrs now I have been able to ask questions that my husband had wanted to know and forgot to ask as treatment can sometimes makes them forgetful and the specialist looks at me to tell the truth how he is as his answer is yes I'm fine we got told in may he only has  months now to live and I'm still by his side looking for signs but scared you get an inner strength from somewhere I have been to every appointment and so pleased I have hope this helps 

Hi Linda I have been to every appointment with my husband as sometimes treatment can make them forgetful and you can ask for them.in the five yrs we have been going the Dr now looks at me to see if he is telling the truth as he's such a tough old boot and just says I'm fine no no pain yes I'm eating so that's one of the reasons I go if it's bad news like ours was in May you are together you get an inner strength and the nurses all know us and make me a tea while we wait he looks so well and still got his sense of humour it brings you closer together yes I've reached out for help and I'm scared of the future but we take each day as it comes hope thus has helped love x

Hi - thank you for talking about your experience. I think we’re both quite frightened of the future as the news has come as such a shock as with everyone in this situation. Adjusting & coming to terms & uncertainty all rolled into one. I think at the moment every tweak or ache/pain we think it’s kind of creeping through him. It’s like something nasty & uninvited has come to live with us if that makes sense. It really helps hearing from others who are sharing what’s heppening to them. Can’t thank you enough.

Linda xx