Hi Mandy - your family have been through so much & I learned from your Dad too that things are always worth questioning. We’ve always been lead to believe that the NHS is best when faced with cancer but when we asked what happens after 4 weeks of radiotherapy it seems they rely purely on PSA results which we’re also lead to believe aren’t entirely reliable. So we’re going to ask for a ct scan to at least find out how things are going. 
Did you & your family go privately? Our oncologist seems very defensive at times - as though he feels we’re trying to catch him out when we ask anything. I guess with people constantly looking things up all the time he feels he’s against the internet sometimes. 
The news about your mum is fantastic & I hope she goes from strength to strength. You must also feel incredibly relieved after being told you were incurable - just fantastic. 
Thanks - love Linda x

Linda, thank you, we have each other for support, I read your post to my dad, he said there are many good oncologists, but sadly not all, but don't confuse being distant with being a poor Dr, it's better to have a good one than a friendly one, but trust is very important and showing you will do everything for your partner and you understand his condition and treatment options will make them listen to you 

After radiotherapy their are so many dying and dead cancer cells floating around the blood, an accurate PSA test isn't possible for up to 8 weeks.

Dad said, by all means ask for a scan, but its not necessary, your PSA tests are, there much more important after radiotherapy than before and remember your radiotherapy will keep working in most cases for 2 years or more alongside the hormone therapy, so 3 monthly PSA tests should be enough for now to monitor everything, along with 6 monthly scans 

No we didn't go private but we researched oncologists, and in our family we have 2 nurses,  a healthcare worker, a social worker and dad with his many years in cancer care, and we don't know 10% of what an oncologist knows, so ask all the questions you have, even if it's about trust and attitude, but in a nice way.

Thank you again, we're all hopeful for mum, but dad's cancer now in his spine along with him now having spinal stenosis and his osteoporosis now classified as chronic, is difficult for the family. Mandy

Hi Mandy - we gleaned more about what happens after this rt treatment than we’ve got before so please thank your dad. Learning patience but not much in the way of options - just hoping things will become clearer as we go. 
I do hope your dad isn’t in too much pain & discomfort - thank goodness he has his family for support. I think of him often & wish him the very best. 
Please keep in touch when you have time - it’s very much appreciated.

Love Linda x

Hi Linda, and thank you for your support, I'm feeling much better today, my heart has stabilised and I'm able to eat normally, and all being well I will be home tomorrow, I'm sorry but I have a few posts to catch up on and I'm still tired, but I will get round to reading yours and replying in full, PS the tumours in my spine were anticipated, and new treatment started before they were detectable and in just 6 weeks my PSA is own over 90%, and I'm virtually pain free, and looking into SBRT. take care my friend

love Eddie xx

Hi Eddie - I just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you - DON’T expect a reply. Just hoping you’re getting through ok.

Love Linda x

Hi Eddie - that all sounds very positive & I’m delighted for you. Great you don’t need heart surgery. So pleased you’re feeling better. 
Nige finished his 4 weeks of rt on Friday. Just the fun side effects to get through now which he’s done well to manage with a careful diet so far. Then as I know you’re aware it’s just hormone injections & regular monitoring now. 
Hope your family are doing ok too. 
Take care & enjoy the Scilly Isles. 
Love Linda xx

Thanks Linda, I'm delighted to avoid heart surgery too, and I'm feeling pretty good, just had a lovely relaxing day in Scotland with family before the long drive to Shropshire tomorrow to spend a day with my newest granddaughters, 10 weeks old and gorgeous, I wish I could send a photo.

That's great Nige, is through his RT, and great to hear he's standing up to side effects so well, can I ask Linda, is Nige taking any bone supplements as treatment can weaken them, it's good to take something to be safe, and how did you find RT, I found everyone staff and patients so friendly, a lovely couple I met have become close friends.

Family is great, thank you my friend, looking forward to seeing them at the Scilly's.

I know from experience being the carer is a tough calling, so how are you doing Linda, I hope your looking after yourself as well.

love Eddie and Sheila xx 

Hi Eddie - good to hear from you as always & great also to hear you’re travelling & seeing your beautiful granddaughters! 
I mentioned to Nige about the bone supplements - he’s always reading up & looking into things & takes any advice on board - so thank you. 
I’m doing ok thanks - up & down at times but Nige has a great sense of humour which helps me enormously especially now he’s more himself generally, We’re both very determined to give everything our best shot with exercise, reasonable diet, planning travel & seeing as much of the family as we can whenever we can. Our grandsons are all very sporty so that’s great for us to go along & support - huge pleasure. 
Unfortunately my youngest brother had a stroke recently - he lives in Portugal so we’re hoping to fly from our house in France to visit him as soon as we can. Just trying to get a few things in place beforehand. So - plans afoot! 
Anyway - thanks for your support, kind words & inspiration. Stay well & happy.

Love Linda xx

Hi Linda, I am so sorry to hear about your little brother, and hope he's doing as well as possible and finds a way through it 

That's so good to hear Nige,  is much more like his old self, and having a sense of humour is fab too, it's so helpful as is family, especially the little ones,  and having your ups and downs is normal my friend, so, please don't bottle things up

Nige has probably read this already, but bisphosphonates to help your bones take about 6 months to start working, so any indication  or possibility of bone weakness, you should start them.

Sadly we only had a couple of days with the twins, as we have a wedding at  the Scilly Isles on Friday, we only arrived today, hence the late reply, keep up the exercises, and  reasonable diet, I like that it's probably similar to mine, the main thing I avoid is processed food.

Glad to help my friend, and I will have everything crossed for your little brother, and of course you and Nige. I'm doing ok Linda, we're at my favourite place with the most important people in my life, looking forward to my favourite auntie finally getting married after 61 years, with her partner, a wonderful lady I've known all my life.

love Eddie and family xx