Mum diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer

Hi,

Sorry second time posting here. My mum has been diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer with lung and liver mets. She's going to be commenced on Folfox in the coming weeks. The oncologist is good and says we'll treat it for the next 3 months then rescan. He talks positively about chemo and the possibility of maintenance chemo down the line and he makes it feel like the end isn't in site. I know it's so hard to give a prognosis and it's so hard to know what sort of a timeline we have. I'm terrified though and my dad is really struggling ( he keeps saying if we get 6 months we'll be lucky) and it kills me to see him hurt so much. My mum's positive and She's the picture of health at the moment. I'm a nurse so I feel I know too much and my mind races to the worst possible things. Sorry for rambling. I suppose I'm just reaching out to see if anyone else has cared for someone on this particular treatment for bowel cancer and if they have any advice ? 

  • Hello Lilytone20

    I'm sorry to hear about your Mum's diagnosis and that your Dad is struggling so much at the moment. It sounds like the Oncologist has been really positive about possible treatment options to try and manage things for your Mum and it's great to hear that she's feeling so well and remaining positive. Undoubtedly that mindset will stand her in good stead once her chemotherapy starts. 

    It's often difficult for people when they learn that a loved one has an incurable diagnosis. My advice would be to try and take things a day, or a week, at a time and not look too far ahead into the future as this is what most often leaves people feeling even more anxious and worried. 

    Hopefully, some of our members who have been through FOLFOX treatment or have had a loved one go through this treatment will post to share their experiences with you. In the meantime, you might find it helpful to talk things through with one of our nurses. Sometimes having someone to talk to who is slightly removed from your situation can be a real help and I know the team will be happy to listen and offer any advice, information and support they can. If you'd like to speak with them they're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

    Hopefully, your Mum will cope well with her chemotherapy and the results in the coming weeks and months will show a good response. 

    Keep in touch Lilytone20 and let us know how you're all doing. 

    Sending you all my best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator