Dad diagnosed with very aggressive stage 4 lung cancer

I’m still in shock and trying to take it all in, my father who is 69 years old  began losing weight with a persistent cough (he has been a heavy smoker for a  long time )  In just under 2 weeks he has been diagnosed with very aggressive stage 4 lung cancer, which has unfortunately spread to his lungs, kidneys and hip. The consultant said no cure and no treatment, he is now under the palliative team and I am looking after him at home. I have been told he may have weeks to live. It’s been so hard, I feel so sad especially for him as he was always so active, working in the allotment, He hasn’t left the house, as feels week and no energy. He is already taking the morphie in tablets and top up with the liquid if need be. It’s all just happening so fast, just devastating

  • I am so sorry to read this. I lost my dad in April (he was 59) to liver and lung cancer, although he had had treatment for 4 years the actual recurrence of the cancer and move to palliative care was super sudden and from late March when we were told it was no longer treatable he passed peacefully 3 weeks later. I hope that doesn’t make you feel worse, it’s really just to say this is hard and heartbreaking but grab every second. I also cared for my dad at his home and it was at all times devastating and a privilege to be with him, I wish I could give you a huge hug. I hope you have had hospice or district nurses reach out to you, if not please have someone do that for you as you’ll be so busy with Dad but the hospice nurses were wonderful. Say everything you need to say and hold his hand. I’m so sorry, it’s hard to put into words how this part you’re in now but you know it without me saying it that this is so devastating. Here for you. 

  • Offline in reply to MrsP18

    I’m so sorry for your  loss and thank you for your kind words.  The district nurses will start coming tomorrow, dad is feeling weaker each day that passes, I feel so helpless sometimes and scared of the unknown and of what is coming but trying to make the most of each day. Thank you again for reaching out. 

  • Hello there. I lost my beautiful husband 3 weeks ago after a long 20month battle with lung cancer.

    He had 4 sessions of chemotherapy followed by immune therapy which unfortunately did not suit him. In fact it caused inflammation and multiple blood clots on his lungs so they had to stop the treatment. After 8 months on a high dose of steroids to get rid of the inflammation he started another chemotherapy treatment. The oncologist was delighted that after 2 sessions his tumour had shrunk by 50% and was very happy for him to continue the last 2 sessions. After the last session of chemotherapy he had a scan which showed it had done a u turn and travelled into his legs and spine. We were devastated how can this happen after such good results. He couldn’t come to terms with it nor could I.  He was told he had but 2 weeks left to live and to put his house in order. I brought him home to care for him and the McMillan nurses arranged a hospital bed and wheelchairs for him, but his illness proceeded rapidly. He literally died in my arms and I felt his heart stop. This image is stuck in my head and I am struggling to deal with this grief, I will never get over the loss of him 46 years married to a wonderful man. He fought his battle so hard and accepted every treatment offered and this was so so cruel. My son is also looking for answers as to why this could happen and he also is struggling. We buried him last Tuesday and gave him the best send off ever and donations from family and friends we raised over £1800 for lung cancer research. I know that he would be happy for this money to go into research into this terrible disease and I don’t want anyone else to have to go through this experience. I feel your pain as well but I cry when I want and I find myself talking to his photos all the time.

    God Bless

  • We are also just waiting to see if there are any treatment options for mum who was diagnosed last week with lung cancer that has spread to her other organs. I’m terrified they will say palliative care. This time last week we were blissfully unaware. Mum is also in bed a lot and feeling sick. Such a cruel cruel disease and it makes me furious that the government still normalise smoking because they make billions from it each year. Sending my best wishes

  • Thank you for sharing.  I am so sorry for your loss. Dad is deteriorating day by day, he has refused any type of food since yesterday and been in bed since  last night, he  managed  to use the toilet on his own but goes back to sleep straight after. The nurses have explained it’s normal that he is losing his appetite as his body no longer uses or restores energy in the same way and the cancer itself makes him very tired. I keep checking to see if he is ok and just always so frightened of what is coming. I pray that he will not suffer as for the last weeks he has suffered so much already with such news and how quickly it’s all happening. A bed is coming tomorrow. Thank you again, know that you everything possible under such horrible and cruel circumstances, big hug 

  • I’m so sorry to read that you are going through something similar, it’s just so sudden and happens so very quickly, hoping that they can help your Mum and treatment options will be available, best wishes and all the best