Hi Connollyab,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm very sorry to hear of the situation with your dad, and also that you had to find out this information this way. It must be a lot to process - and there is certainly no rush to do this.

I'm not sure how close you are to your dad, but hopefully you can speak to him about this, and in particular to try to give you some idea of what to expect.

Do also keep speaking to others around you for support. We are always here on the forum if ever you need it, and it's often helpful to write things down and to reach out to others.

Hopefully you'll get some more replies to your post soon. You can also search the forum, using the bar at the top of the page, for other relevant discussions and people to connect with, if you'd like to.

If ever you feel you need some additional support, take a look at Macmillan - they have various resources and a helpline.

Do take care of yourself and take things one day at a time.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Connollyab,

I'm really sorry to hear about your dad. I dont know exactly what you're going through as it was my husband that had cancer but what I can say though is when we had that meeting with the doctor and was told there's nothing more that can be done, it was one of the toughest days of both our lives. Im sorry you found out the way you did, that must have been difficult but my take on it is that your dad may have been doing it to try and protect you or maybe he hasnt fully processed it himself. My husband found telling our children that his cancer was terminal so incredibly hard. Also being sad is absolutely fine and I know for a few days after that meeting with the doctor, i felt numb and just didnt know what to do with myself. I was pretty useless. I then realised we had to make the most of whatever time we had left and put all of my effort into making happy memories. It of course wasnt all smooth sailing. But that would be my biggest bit of advice, focus on getting through each day the best you can and make each day memorable. Wishing you all the very best x