My husband was positive and sporty until he retired at 65. He belongs to "the only real work is paid work" fraternity and so he took not earning a salary badly. I tried to encourage his various interests but in vain. He wanted a new career which would bring him attention, if not a salary, and he found one. Since 2011 we have lived in a medical crisis of some description. He has Crohns, which actually gives him very few problems, and Type 2 diabetes which he manages badly, if at all. In 2016 he had Lymphoma for which he received chemo and he has been in remission since 2016. Then he decided he wanted an operation, a hip replacement. The doctor said no, not necessary. So he decided he wanted an NHS mobility scooter. The doctor said there was nothing wrong and refused, so he went out and bought one. He "collapses" from time to time but doctors and hospitals can never find anything wrong. He is a stubborn "my way or the highway" person and refuses to follow medical advice on diet snd exercise, often causing himself dehydration, so he has become weak and unsteady and has lost muscle mass. Now he has cancer of the tongue which is being treated with radiology, but he is in full bed ridden invalid mode which has perplexed his medical team and I really am at the end of my tether. Half of me feels sorry for him but the other half wants to scream in sheer frustration because he is ruining both our lives. He insists I must keep well as I need to do everything for him. If I don"t it simply results in another "collapse" for which yet another hospital will find nothing wrong. Please, can anyone tell me what might be the best way forward for us, because the situation has become incredibly difficult for me to handle.
