My (26F) Dad (72M) has throat cancer. On 3rd week radiotherapy and struggling. Just want to talk to someone who understands

Hi. 

My Dad has throat cancer and is on his 3rd out of 7 weeks radiotherapy. He has a feeding tube fitted and is starting to use this more, mostly with Fortisip drinks

Generally he isn't eating or drinking as much as he should and I'm worried this is going to get worse. He said he doesn't want to eat or drink because he can't taste anything so doesn't enjoy it, can't eat most things because of the pain in his mouth and throat and he said some things even taste rotten (e.g flavoured water). No matter how much I or my little brother encourage him, he is reluctant to eat/drink very much. I'm worried this will get worse - there's over 4 more weeks to go and I know the side effects will continue to build.

This week he's starting to cough a lot and is struggling with throwing up mucus. When this happens he becomes really distressed. 

He also thinks he's going to die and I'm finding that really hard. He keeps pulling me aside to tell me important information as if he only has days to live. I keep trying to remind him that his prognosis is positive (oncologist said intention is to cure his cancer) and that he'll get through it but he's understandably so low.

I'm personally really drained and feeling a lot of pressure (along with my little brother) because wider family haven't been making very much effort. It's hard not to feel resentment over that. I'm trying to juggle work and care for my Dad, alongside processing all of this. Sorry this is a lot of word vomit. 

Does anyone have any advice? I want him to know he can and will get through this. I want to know that we'll all get through it together. 

Parents
  • Hi, I’m 26 and dealing helping deal with my Grandad who has oesophagus and throat cancer. I grew up with my gran-Parents so it’s difficult to watch him go though it. He has a feeding tube and is currently in week 3 out of 5 radio therapy after 4 weeks of chemo. He is struggling at the moment however at 76 years old he over come the operation which he had a 1/3 chance of survival. We can only remain strong and keep trying to make them happy when we can. 

    We wasn’t expecting him to wake up from the operation.. a month after his op and before his chemo and radio therapy he was back doing his Gardening. I know it’s hard to give someone hope or some happiness because we are not experiencing it but any positive story from those going through it currently can always impact their mental health in a good way. 

    Look after your own well being too - I feel lonely as all I do currently is worry about him. Your health is also important. Always here for anyone who needs a chat. 

Reply
  • Hi, I’m 26 and dealing helping deal with my Grandad who has oesophagus and throat cancer. I grew up with my gran-Parents so it’s difficult to watch him go though it. He has a feeding tube and is currently in week 3 out of 5 radio therapy after 4 weeks of chemo. He is struggling at the moment however at 76 years old he over come the operation which he had a 1/3 chance of survival. We can only remain strong and keep trying to make them happy when we can. 

    We wasn’t expecting him to wake up from the operation.. a month after his op and before his chemo and radio therapy he was back doing his Gardening. I know it’s hard to give someone hope or some happiness because we are not experiencing it but any positive story from those going through it currently can always impact their mental health in a good way. 

    Look after your own well being too - I feel lonely as all I do currently is worry about him. Your health is also important. Always here for anyone who needs a chat. 

Children
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